"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Simple test at workplace

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
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In my office, with about 50 people, 35 women and 15 men, I was in the so-called "break" room, because right behind me is the counter with snacks, tea and coffee machines, ice cream, etc.

So today I moved from that room to another.
I realized that, even though I was sitting there for 8 hours in the office, I saw everyone every day, I met them at least once, and I knew their entire lives precisely because we always stopped to chat. Some people came in the morning, some in the after lunch.

But now I feel more focused on my work, and I can understand that these people are just "colleagues" and not "friends" like the repeated exposure want you to feel like. It didn't take much to understand that being "close" to them doesn't mean "having a connection" with them.

But the downside is that I now have fewer daily "exposure opportunities" to improve my social skills (I used to see about 40 different people every day, even if they're the same colleagues). I realize that even if being on a office job, sit a desk, I miss that "little social break" a bit.

About women of my office, They dressed nicely and neatly to gain approval when they came in the room for coffe, and I had learned to do it well.

I'm not a social outcast, I'm just saying that seeing 40 people every day definitely improves your charisma or your rapport with these people. Because you have plenty opportunitites to be humorous, you also learn to recognize other people's patterns.

But it's true, "out of sight, out of mind."

Now I'm on my room and if people really needs me they come to search for me.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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