"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Sigh

loveshogun

Master Don Juan
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I hate it when my exes do this. Sometimes, I wish they had SS for the woman AFC.

Or maybe I should just stop breaking their brains.

Ex: hello
Ex: are we not friends anymore?
me: what do you mean?
Ex: I wasn't sure because every time I said hello you didn't respond
me: when did you say hello?
me: never mind
me: hello
me: i'm busy at work right now
me: talk to you later, k?
Ex: ok
She got a boyfriend now, she should go bother him. I got sh*t to do!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Kailex

Master Don Juan
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I've read your posts since you've joined and they are always well articulated and wiser than most newcomers.

That's why I am surprised that you gave her the short-term boost.

Are you two still friends?
 

blueline

Senior Don Juan
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Most of the time, I kick my exes to the curb and they never hear from me again.
 

loveshogun

Master Don Juan
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True, I didn't have to say anything

Kailex said:
I've read your posts since you've joined and they are always well articulated and wiser than most newcomers.

That's why I am surprised that you gave her the short-term boost.

Are you two still friends?
I broke up with this girl in March.

We're civil to each other, because she's still one of my dance students, but I'm not exactly picking up her mail or doing her any favors. She might call that friendship. I just don't talk about that kind of thing because it's irrelevant... so I guess the answer is no, we are not friends, not in any meaningful, mutually beneficial way.

I'm polite, that's about it. If someone says hello, I'll say hello, that I'm busy (true) and get back to what I was doing.

The boost was no cost to me aside from mental annoyance. That annoyance would have been present anyway because she initiated contact in the first place - basically saying "I need someone to make me feel better."

Let me know if my politeness is a mistake - I don't think it is.
 

Kailex

Master Don Juan
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Gotcha.
You didn't seem to be the average poster who just hands out validation and ego boosts left and right, that's why I was curious.

Cheers!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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