Should I lower my standards?

[Oscar Wilde]

So try and set it up so it's a multi-date type thing? Hmm, interesting! Thanks for the advice, will do so next time & bring one or 2 of my buddies along.

[edit] We don't do such a formal dating thing this side of the pond as you guys do in the US, so when I say multi-date, I just mean a gang of us meeting in a bar for pints
[/edit]

Cheers,
Oscar.

 

[thissucks003]

Lowering your standards, are you reinforcing good or bad behavior? I'd say you are reinforcing bad behavior. Why? If you only go after lower standard girls, you will never get better with your skills as a seducer. You will have a mental block when you really see someone you want because you will only think in those past successes with below average women.

TS

 

[MrNiceGuy]

You will have a mental block when you really see someone you want because you will only think in those past successes with below average women.

Maybe, but surely some success in the past is better than no success at all? Also I'm not really talking about actively pursuing uglier women, merely taking an opportunity with someone who has made it clear they are interested. I think this is a big difference because you do not need to actively make an effort to get them interested in you.

 

[thejuice]

Well, Mr. Nice Guy, i wouldn't lower my standards unless i had the wrong mindset in the first place. Say, have you ever heard of the quote that goes something like "Think and you shall become"? Btw, what were you thinking when you came up with your screen name as Mr. Nice Guy? Is that what you really want to become? I hope not...

Now that were discussing mindset here, apply it to how youre viewing yourself and think about how you see yourself. I predict that you see yourself as a Nice Guy.

So heres advice...don't lower your standards unless you absolutely need to get laid by tonight. Before you do that though, try changing the way you think first and then (if that dosent work), go ahead and do what you want. The problem i see with you is that youre thinking "Mr. Nice Guy" and you're becoming that. Lowering your standards dosent exactly say you're anything else

 

[thissucks003]

Originally posted by MrNiceGuy
Maybe, but surely some success in the past is better than no success at all? Also I'm not really talking about actively pursuing uglier women, merely taking an opportunity with someone who has made it clear they are interested. I think this is a big difference because you do not need to actively make an effort to get them interested in you.

Let's see, you have two opportunities with 2 gals at a bar. Girl A is about a 4. She totally digs you and you hardly have done much work to impress her. You know she totally digs you and is giving you all of the signs in the world. She asks you to go back to her place. You have no work to do and if you sneak out the back door, your buddies won't see you walk out with her. It's a done deal when you get her home.

Girl B is a 8 in the looks department, you have never met her and she glances your way. You have to go up there cold and she may not be so receptive as girl A because you have no idea she is into you. What do you do?

You gotta go after the better gal if that is what you are looking for. Why go for the sure single if you could get the double or tripple with a better gal. It's not so much how much success you have. It's how much experience you have. The experience you gain after going after the better looking women reinforces better behavior so you know what to do at the right time.

Go after the less attractive gals you know you have a sure thing with, after you strike out with the 8's, 9's, 10's. Because they will always be there for the taking. The better looking one's won't!

Good luck,

TS

 

[MrNiceGuy]

Originally posted by thissucks003
Go after the less attractive gals you know you have a sure thing with, after you strike out with the 8's, 9's, 10's. Because they will always be there for the taking. The better looking one's won't!

You got that spot on.. only settle for a last resort option if it really is the last resort option...

As for the niceguy screen name, well, I guess when I signed up it was a reflection of me, I'd always been the AFC that thought being friends with a girl was the safest way into her pants, while on holiday last year some girls I was chatting to (with boyfriends I later found out) gave me the whole "you're so nice, I cant believe you dont have a girlfriend" speech, probably because being me I'd not been flirting with them at all, I just chatted to them like mates and showed no signs of interest, hence the conclusion I must be already taken.. As it is I'm trying to get out of that mentality, -although it obviously still exists within me- and come across as a much more sexual person when I meet a new girl rather than just a friendly guy.

 

[The Time Machine]

Pressing The blue button....
Bump!