These guys I lived with since freshmen year in college. all good buds. its going to be our 4th year. 2 of the 3 have gfs are going, and the third one's gf is studying abroad. Besides them, those girls roommate(going with a guy) and that guys friends is coming too. We all know each other. I am cool with those 2 other dudes. THey percieve me as beta and newbish though.
My roommate took care of everything(he is the alpha guy in group) in terms of planning. He always trys to help me...actually all of them do(my self-esteem issues and what not). BUt I hate being the newb in the group and I feel if I go with them to this trip next month I'd feel very...pathetic and newbish. I have this mindset that they are better than me despite how much I improved. This makes me feel weak inside. I hate that feeling and I always try to avoid it in general. They all know I am seeing this girl(its not serios or anything). But still a part of me feels as if I am not good enough and I feel very uncomfortable going to los angeles with them. What should I do?
btw I am very bad in terms of my relashionship with people. For the most part, all my close friends back at home and in college percieve me as the newb or innocent and all that AFC junk.
Should I come up with some excuse and not go. I am leaning towards that...
I guess you can say that by going with them...I feel like I am hurting my pride. I am not ready to show the whole crowd and their gfs that I can act differently if I wanted to. Too scared that I will mess up trying to act alpha and mess everything up...
My roommate took care of everything(he is the alpha guy in group) in terms of planning. He always trys to help me...actually all of them do(my self-esteem issues and what not). BUt I hate being the newb in the group and I feel if I go with them to this trip next month I'd feel very...pathetic and newbish. I have this mindset that they are better than me despite how much I improved. This makes me feel weak inside. I hate that feeling and I always try to avoid it in general. They all know I am seeing this girl(its not serios or anything). But still a part of me feels as if I am not good enough and I feel very uncomfortable going to los angeles with them. What should I do?
btw I am very bad in terms of my relashionship with people. For the most part, all my close friends back at home and in college percieve me as the newb or innocent and all that AFC junk.
Should I come up with some excuse and not go. I am leaning towards that...
I guess you can say that by going with them...I feel like I am hurting my pride. I am not ready to show the whole crowd and their gfs that I can act differently if I wanted to. Too scared that I will mess up trying to act alpha and mess everything up...