"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Should I continue with NC or just call her?

the_stig

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I've been on/off with this girl for a few months. Two and a half weeks ago she pulled back physically, not knowing if I was sleeping around and had to be careful with STDs due to a medical condition. We only had sex once since we started seeing each other again. I stupidly made an insensitive comment that really set her off. She'd just given me a framed picture of us two days before. But, she wasn't affectionate the day of the fight, which was odd.

I apologized, she claimed to be over it, but remained very distant so I backed way off. Two weeks ago she was "giving us/the issue" space. I've only initiated contact a week ago when I asked how she was doing, and we should get together. She was busy on the days I purposed and didn't offer a reschedule. Every few days she sends a blank text, too often to be an accident. I especially notice them when my facebook indicates other girls are talking to me. A week ago I uploaded a picture with female friends from the bar and Saturday she commented on it saying "Looks like you're doing well :)" followed by a blank text Sunday, and last night. Don't know if she wants to talk and that's her way of throwing the bait out, or if its chilidish games.

Should I just call her and try talking like adults, or since I did my part in apologizing do I continue NC until she gives me a REAL contact-- a mature text, a phone call?
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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sinnerman

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the no contact thing is actually tough..im also on no contact since last 48 hours and its tough even though im talking and spending time with a few other gals.

i guess in your situation since she is texting u, commenting on your photos, etc. i think you should call her and sort it out..also how is your history with her ? do u get into fights often and all or is she stable with you most of the times ? that factor too should be taken into account before u break the no contact.
 

bigneil

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No Contact is a healthy exercise even when the relationship is going ok. Just wait until she contacts you. It's not easy, I just endured 6 days of NC, but yesterday she wrote a nice text message asking how I was. Now today she's back to being very romantic and she's asking when she can see me again and telling me her family and new coworkers want to meet me (LDR). Wait her out.
 

Maximus Rex

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Get some other chicks into your "rotation", in two to three months go into your achieves, then post about what's going on with you and the new chicks. Then reask the the question.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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