Should I call her?

[DJinTraining06]

I need some advice. I met a girl off match.com last Thursday for coffee. We had emailed each other then exchanged screennames, talked several times, sometimes i'd im her, sometimes shed im me so it was mutual. And we ended up meeting for 30 mins at Starbucks. She said sorry to cut it short but I'm so exhausted (she looked it, she has a crazy schedule of work and school this semester). So she says well i just wanted to meet up with u cuz i feel bad i been d*cking u around the past week. (She kinda did flake on me a few times when she told me to call her to set soemthin up).

but anyway, as we were leaving she said we should meet up again sometime. As we got to our cars outside i said ok so maybe we could meet up next week soemtime, and she says yea definately gimme a call. So i'm thinking hey this went pretty well. But that night i see her online so i im her just a few words. She was very bried and signed off. The next 2 days ive seen her online both nights for hours and she hasnt im'd me. Is her interest level low? Was she just bs'ing me when she said "yeah definately" about meeting up. Should i im her, or wait for her to? Or should i just call her.

Not that this is a big deal, but i dont get this.

 

[penkitten]

low interest. if she had high interest shed send you a bunch of ims whether you were online or not telling you she had a good time etc.

 

[Black Circle]

Stop, do not talk to her through aim. Big mistake, only use it to get the number and be brief and keep the away message or the invisable on so it looks like your not there and your not sitting around your computer. If I were you, i'd call her up, set up a date when she isn't half dead. If she flakes, strike 3. Forget about her.

 

[Kings_royalty]

She said sorry to cut it short but I'm so exhausted (she looked it, she has a crazy schedule of work and school this semester).

In other words, she's not interested. If she was that tired, she wouldn't have made the effort to meet up with you in the first place. But, she decided to meet up with you to see if any sparks flew, but they didn't, so she gave you the tired excuse. What sucks is that you are making excuses for her.

So she says well i just wanted to meet up with u cuz i feel bad i been d*cking u around the past week.

She wanted to meet up with you out of pity, not because she was 'interested'. That shoud of told you something right there.

She kinda did flake on me a few times when she told me to call her to set soemthin up

Why would you want to meet up with this girl at Starbucks after she flaked on you a few times?


but anyway, as we were leaving she said we should meet up again sometime. As we got to our cars outside i said ok so maybe we could meet up next week soemtime, and she says yea definately gimme a call.

Don't hold your breath. All this and you 'still' want to meet up with her again?

But that night i see her online so i im her just a few words. She was very bried and signed off.

This should come as no surprise bro, you are all up this girls a** and she has no interest in you. You are probably annoying her now.

Should i im her, or wait for her to? Or should i just call her.


I think you know the answer to this, at least i 'hope' you do.

 

[DJinTraining06]

I hear what ur sayin but

i hear what ur saying, but why would she have given me her number then? We talked on aim 2 times before i asked for her #. She had no idea whether she liked me or not, so the flakin would have more to do with her being a b*tch than not liking me. Also she flaked once cuz a dog bit her in the face (i saw the bite, it was fresh beleive it or not it sounds ridiculous I know), the time before that she was called in to work, which she warned me about the day before, but she said to call her anyway. The first time she flaked was the only bad one, we talked online on a sunday morning and she told me to call her at 5:00 to maybe get coffee. I got her voicemail and left a message. the next day she texted me at noon and apologized. she said she had fallen asleep and didnt wake up till 10 so it was too late to call me. Now that one was bad I admit.

I agree with wat ur saying to a degree, but not everythings so black and white is it? I mean why'd she gimme the number, whyd she tell me she wanted to meet up again before i even asked her? And i think things r less obvious with internet dating, cuz she had never met me before why would she flake. She gave me her num and said call me at 5. She hadnt even heard my voice yet so there was no reason for her to flake.

Well i'm gonna call her this week, maybe in a couple days. If i cant get a date wit her or she flakes again, im gonna come back on here and give u some credit. I'm interested to see what happens.

Stop, do not talk to her through aim. Big mistake, only use it to get the number and be brief and keep the away message or the invisable on so it looks like your not there and your not sitting around your computer. If I were you, i'd call her up, set up a date when she isn't half dead. If she flakes, strike 3. Forget about her.

 

[organizedconfusion]

don't talk to her for a few days and then call her to meet up.simple as that,it hurts to see someone you have interest in kinda flake you off like that..even online.Who knows, you are making too much of a thing about it.You can't read her mind dude.It's kinda like at work and you have a regular customer that you are cool with..sure you say hi most of the times but sometimes you just don't feel like talking to anyone, or maybe you just have a bad day..who knows,who cares? it's not personal.You're putting too much empasis on what could be a few isolated incidents and making more out of it then it is.Ever had your dad blow up on you for not taking out the trash-when you realizd he had a bad day at work? does it mean that he hates your guts? ever been cut off and they guy flipped you off? does it mean he personaly hates you and wants to kill you? course not.Just because she did this or that isn't a concrete indicator of anything..maybe she wanted to see you no matter how brief the encounter..ever just want to see someone you liked..even if for a little while? Ever been too anxious to IM someone because you didn't know what to say or because you didn't want to look like you were too interested? who knows..maybe she is feeling the same as you are..you'll never know,and it's all speculation until you actually meet up with her and hang out to see where it goes.Replaying scanarios over and over in your mind and agonizing over and trying to pick apart her motives behind her actions will get you nowhere..except obsessed and turn you into a stalker.Plus if you keep it up the next time you meet up with her you'll have all these weird and bizzare half resentment/hurt feelings towards her..all of this resulting in a bad time..not good..i say just get it all out of your head and meet up with her later on,whenever..til then,go out,get some things done,put it out of your mind and deal with it when you can..you're only making it worse by thinking about it soo much.If you're worried that she'll meet someone else? who cares? if thats the case then so be it..if she was genuinly interested in you that would'nt be the case- if it was then,it still dosen't matter because by then,because you didn't make a big fuss over her- there won't be any feelings of attatchment connected to her..it won't be a big deal because you didn't make it into one in the first place...

 

[Kings_royalty]

I'm interested to see what happens.


You will continue to chase her, and she will continue to give you just enough attention to keep you around (like she has been doing) to feed her ego, that’s what is going to happen. If she was interested, you would have had a much different pattern of behavior. You wouldn't have gotten the cold shoulder (that's exactly what happened) after chatting for 30 minutes in Starbucks.

For your sake, I hope I'm TOTALLY wrong about this whole situation, but I seriously doubt it.

Good Luck.

 

[insomniac]

The first thing you need to do is read this and apply it to your life, especially in regards to internet dating:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=90482&highlight=plate+spinning

Words alone can never be taken as a sign of interest. They have to always be weighed against her behavior and enthusiasm. In your situation, it doesn't sound like the sparks were flyin for her. Saying "call me" or "let's talk again" with no intention to are easy, conflict-free ways for women (men too) to get out of a situation. You have to learn to accept that women will flake and not follow through on what they say, and that in most cases you will never understand why. Spin more plates, and you'll care less and less when this happens.

Go ahead and call her one more time. If she makes excuses about being too busy to get together or doesn't call back at all, then she's not interested.

 

[DJinTraining06]

You were correct. I called her last night, a day has passed and she didnt call back. I signed on to AIM an hr ago and she is online. She hasn't im'd me yet. Oh well. Wonder wat i did wrong. We only talked like 25-30 mins, and i think i acted pretty calm and cool. I look just like my picture on match, wonder if its cuz i have some acne right now. oh well watever, meetin another one saturday, hopefully that will pan out.

I'm interested to see what happens.


You will continue to chase her, and she will continue to give you just enough attention to keep you around (like she has been doing) to feed her ego, that’s what is going to happen. If she was interested, you would have had a much different pattern of behavior. You wouldn't have gotten the cold shoulder (that's exactly what happened) after chatting for 30 minutes in Starbucks.

For your sake, I hope I'm TOTALLY wrong about this whole situation, but I seriously doubt it.

Good Luck.