Should her past bother me?? (drugs, etc)

[parisaga]

So I'm dating this girl. Things are going REALLY well, we're really hitting it off. We've been dating several months; the last few monogamously. Sex is great, no real arguments at all, everything's really rosy.

BUT....

In her past she did some hard drugs and lived a somewhat hard lifestyle. She dated a guy for a long time on heroin (finally left him b/c of it), speed, coke, etc. Now, I've done alot of drugs myself, so this is not totally crazy... but still...

Bottom line:

- Does her past matter if she claims (and acts) like it's the past? Can she really be over it?

 

[Grey Fox]

Only time will tell, just watch her and see how she acts. If she seems strung out all the time, there might be a problem. Also make sure she is not a walking STD.

-Grey Fox

 

[penkitten]

is your past .. in your past?

 

[disciple]

The past only an problem if she has issues and baggage from the past that reflect in her behavior.

If her past isn't affecting the present, then don't make a big deal out of it but keep an eye out because as she gets to know you better and feels more relaxed you'll see more and more of the real her and everything about her might not be golden.

 

[daffydikless]

I find it funny that you have a problem with a girl, and you do have a problem with her, otherwise you wouldnt have posted this issue, for doing stuff that YOU did in the past.

We dont live in UTOPIA and the older you get, if you find a girl or a guy who has LIVED a PERFECT life, i'd say run, because they are obviously lying.

Nobody is perfect. Yeah some people do things a little worse then others. But then again, what one person thinks is bad, somebody else thinks isn't that bad.

If you have a problem with her past, confront her about it. If she does the whole avoiding the questoins routine, i'd say, she isn't over it.

Then again, you never said you moved on from your past either.

 

[NewMan]

Yes - nothing is perfect.

As stated before...

As long as her past is not interferring with the present - your fine.


We all have our history.

 

[MacAvoy]

Chasing Amy!

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Yep. The past tells alot about a person.

Personally, I would never get involved with a girl with that kind of history as I have been with them before and have seen relapses in behavior.

Many women will use the old line, "forget my past - it's about us now", however, credit providers and employers look at a person's past to tell about their future.

Perhaps you should too...

There are so many women out there without the fvcked-up wreakage of the past. I encourage you to find one of them instead.

However, it's your life, bro.

Cheers!

Eric

 

[Jay Gatsby]

Originally posted by ER!C L!VE
Many women will use the old line, "forget my past - it's about us now", however, credit providers and employers look at a person's past to tell about their future.

Perhaps you should too...

There are so many women out there without the fvcked-up wreakage of the past. I encourage you to find one of them instead.
Eric

Exactly. There is a good reason for using one's past as an indicator of one's future behavior. The closer in time such bad behavior is, the more likely the person will continue to exhibit the same poor judgment that led to such behavior. Don't get me wrong, people can change, but as has been posted here thousands of times before -- actions speak louder than words.

You want to date this girl? Fine, date her while you're dating other people as well. Keep an eye on her behavior. If she over-indulges in alcohol, hangs out with drug users, or uses drugs herself, next her immediately. You don't have to tell her that she needs to prove herself to you. That will only cause her to put on her best "game face" until she senses that she has her hooks into you. If she tells you "I've changed," you should probably respond "why do you need to tell me?" She'll get the message.

 

[Ricky]

I could deal with a drug history alot better than what I just heard from a girl I dated.

She had multiple abortions. I'm not real cool with that, even though it's her past and none of my business.

Anyways I lost alot of interest, but ironically still like her for who she is now.

 

[Gipper]

Naw, I dated a chick who snorted coke off the back of a men's room toilet.

Relax.

Gipper

 

[flexion_]

The best predictor of future performance is... Past performance. This isn't a law though...

 

[Slickster]

Originally posted by MacAvoy
Chasing Amy!

Great flick and good advice. Watch it.

 

[daffydikless]

So if the past few posters theories are correct, never go out with anybody with a past.

Therefore most people on this site are nothing but liars.

I mean the majority of the people came to this site because they were dumped or bad AFCs..

So just look at their past.

Once something, always something.


Glad the rest of the world doesn't live by that mantra, otherwise, this site would have disappeared a long long time ago.

 

[Ricky]

Daffy you do make some pretty good points.

We all have made mistakes.

 

[Jay Gatsby]

Originally posted by daffydikless
So if the past few posters theories are correct, never go out with anybody with a past.

Therefore most people on this site are nothing but liars.

I mean the majority of the people came to this site because they were dumped or bad AFCs..

So just look at their past.

Once something, always something.


Glad the rest of the world doesn't live by that mantra, otherwise, this site would have disappeared a long long time ago.

Life isn't as black and white as you're trying to make it out to be. A person's past behavior is usually an indicator of their future behavior UNLESS their actions speak otherwise. Notice I didn't say their WORDS, but rather their ACTIONS. As long as the girl Parisaga is dating ACTS like her past lifestyle is the past, then he's fine. However, if she still exhibits behaviors inconsistent with having moved beyond her past lifestyle, he should move on immediately and never look back no matter how much she tells him she's changed.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

I dunno, I've met a surprising amount of girls lately who are f*cked up on coke. No thanks. That's an automatic next for me.

The three that I was involved with in the last year were all involved in that crap, but kept it hidden from me for as long as possible.

I look at them now and I do not regret launching them - they are all approaching meltdown status. Again, no f*cking thanks - with cokehead chicks you are only asking for it.

By all means, continue the relationship, but keep an eye on her.

Chicks on coke basically behave like hors - they'll do anything for it, including sexual favours. I have yet to find an exception to that rule. Guaranteed, she's doing the blow, she's givin' a blow.

 

[LucidDreamer]

i wouldn't sweat the drug history, people experiment...a friend of mine -- like a dumbass got all into his girl's sexual history -- and this dumb biatch tells him she was GB'd by 2 dudes, one of which he was introduced to....try dealing with that.