The idea of Shifting Gears came to me from reading about Texas Hold'em Poker techinques. For those not into poker its a lot like driving stick. There are times you want to fast, like when your racing to win. Other times you need to go slow because you're unsure about the road. Sometimes you just want to cruise along with no particular worry at all.
The point is you are going at the speed you want and need to go. You are in the driver's seat and you can choose to hit the gas or brake. The point is you are making the choice, and you are deciding the speed at which your car or your card playing is going. Because if you control the pace and the way things play out then you are in control.
So let's take this a step further and apply it to DJIing. Whatever you do with a girl this is how you should shift the gears.
1st gear: Slow: A lot of guys are desperate so they choose to move real fast and make it obvious what they are after. What you want to do is take it easy. Why, so of you will rush to say. Well thats probably part of your problem you rush it and flail. LAPD SWAT has a couple of inspiring training motto's one of which is "In order to speed it up, you got to slow it down." What it means is that before SWAT can go rushing in and clear a 12 story building and all its buildings in 5 minutes they have to train slowly. They actually will just do walk throughs in training and at first walk and then they speed it up. So at first we to will move slow. Its starts with a "Hello," and an introduction of names. A smile and the softball questions, the ones meant to find out more about her so you can create conversation pieces for later. Eventually you get a number and if it feels like you have to make a leap to get it, then there is a problem.
2nd gear: This is what should happen during the first and second and even third dates. You cruise but slowly, getting a feel for her and the boundaries you must at first play within but eventually break. To keep things moving along, you must stay in control and be fun. Interesting concept, because if someone feels controlled they certainly won't be having any fun. Of course they won't have any fun if they think you're weak and indecisive. So the first dates you choose must allow for control and fun. ACTION DATES, ACTION DATES, ACTION DATES. Don't worry the romantic dinners for two can come later. Believe me you want them too, they are expensive. But why ACTION DATES, because its here that you can choose the time and place but make is so that both of you can have a good time. Hell take her bowling if you can't think of anything better. Mini golf, pool, rock wall climbing, go karts, surfing. Whatever just make sure you can both have a good time doing something active. T
The great myth on this site is that action date is good for you because it takes her out of her comfort area. In fact it is the opposite, because girls find it uncomfortable to be alone with new guy for a first date. Being alone in a private dinner with someone you have no real idea about is intimidating and awkward as Hell for anyone. A girl is not in a comfort area and yet she is not drawn to you in fact it makes things harder because her sense of fear is triggering thoughts of danger and wondering if your an Axe murder or not. In reality ACTION DATES are more comfortable for her because its in a public place and she doesn't have to have those thoughts, for know you are just having fun, and thats what you want to show her that you are fun. Later is when you begin to show her the other sides of you she will like.
Third Gear: Sex, now you show her a little smoothness. It mixes in with the fun side, but it alludes to a different kind of fun that she'll want to push for. Thats right she'll be the one wanting sex from you. That will be nice for a change. The way you do this is to almost tease her, subtly at first and then more directly as things open up. You take a step forward and then back off. But each time raising the stakes higher. For example if she inivites you back to her place to hang out for the first time. Just hang out, women expect that most men would go for sex right there. But don't, just hang out. She'll never expect it and begin to wonder, and decide to try harder.(I.E. you are a challenge)
Fourth Gear: Relationship, if the relationship isnt 50 50 then you want out. Compromise comes later like 5 years down the road when marriage become a reasonable topic to diccuss and begin to think about.
Fifth Gear: LTR, could be marriage, could be something long term, when you get to this point you know what works and what doesn't and I hope you would not need advice other than to protect your heart and keep your options open. Just in case.
-Grey Fox
The point is you are going at the speed you want and need to go. You are in the driver's seat and you can choose to hit the gas or brake. The point is you are making the choice, and you are deciding the speed at which your car or your card playing is going. Because if you control the pace and the way things play out then you are in control.
So let's take this a step further and apply it to DJIing. Whatever you do with a girl this is how you should shift the gears.
1st gear: Slow: A lot of guys are desperate so they choose to move real fast and make it obvious what they are after. What you want to do is take it easy. Why, so of you will rush to say. Well thats probably part of your problem you rush it and flail. LAPD SWAT has a couple of inspiring training motto's one of which is "In order to speed it up, you got to slow it down." What it means is that before SWAT can go rushing in and clear a 12 story building and all its buildings in 5 minutes they have to train slowly. They actually will just do walk throughs in training and at first walk and then they speed it up. So at first we to will move slow. Its starts with a "Hello," and an introduction of names. A smile and the softball questions, the ones meant to find out more about her so you can create conversation pieces for later. Eventually you get a number and if it feels like you have to make a leap to get it, then there is a problem.
2nd gear: This is what should happen during the first and second and even third dates. You cruise but slowly, getting a feel for her and the boundaries you must at first play within but eventually break. To keep things moving along, you must stay in control and be fun. Interesting concept, because if someone feels controlled they certainly won't be having any fun. Of course they won't have any fun if they think you're weak and indecisive. So the first dates you choose must allow for control and fun. ACTION DATES, ACTION DATES, ACTION DATES. Don't worry the romantic dinners for two can come later. Believe me you want them too, they are expensive. But why ACTION DATES, because its here that you can choose the time and place but make is so that both of you can have a good time. Hell take her bowling if you can't think of anything better. Mini golf, pool, rock wall climbing, go karts, surfing. Whatever just make sure you can both have a good time doing something active. T
The great myth on this site is that action date is good for you because it takes her out of her comfort area. In fact it is the opposite, because girls find it uncomfortable to be alone with new guy for a first date. Being alone in a private dinner with someone you have no real idea about is intimidating and awkward as Hell for anyone. A girl is not in a comfort area and yet she is not drawn to you in fact it makes things harder because her sense of fear is triggering thoughts of danger and wondering if your an Axe murder or not. In reality ACTION DATES are more comfortable for her because its in a public place and she doesn't have to have those thoughts, for know you are just having fun, and thats what you want to show her that you are fun. Later is when you begin to show her the other sides of you she will like.
Third Gear: Sex, now you show her a little smoothness. It mixes in with the fun side, but it alludes to a different kind of fun that she'll want to push for. Thats right she'll be the one wanting sex from you. That will be nice for a change. The way you do this is to almost tease her, subtly at first and then more directly as things open up. You take a step forward and then back off. But each time raising the stakes higher. For example if she inivites you back to her place to hang out for the first time. Just hang out, women expect that most men would go for sex right there. But don't, just hang out. She'll never expect it and begin to wonder, and decide to try harder.(I.E. you are a challenge)
Fourth Gear: Relationship, if the relationship isnt 50 50 then you want out. Compromise comes later like 5 years down the road when marriage become a reasonable topic to diccuss and begin to think about.
Fifth Gear: LTR, could be marriage, could be something long term, when you get to this point you know what works and what doesn't and I hope you would not need advice other than to protect your heart and keep your options open. Just in case.
-Grey Fox
