"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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She's been with older guys and now...

cNfny

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We're meeting up. I'm in my early 20s and she's anour 3 years younger and has been in two relationships both with mid 30s guys.

Anticipating the hang out is makin me anxious in a nervous way, I can't understand it. I was thinkin maybe because of her past its putting pressure on me. I keep running the night through in my head and its not helping.

Advice?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Rex Man

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Well, she's obviously got some 'daddy issues'. This one oughta be a cinch. Please tell me your just trying to nail?
 

cNfny

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Def just looking for sex ha. How do you mean its a cinch?
 

Omen

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So if I read this correct, she is about 17 to 20? You say 3 years younger but dont give your exact age.

17yr old with mid 30s or 20yr old with mid 30s? Were talking Junior in high school and a Sophomore in college. Thats about the difference there in 3yrs.

Assume she's 20 and she's been with guys 35... Yea, that's a 15yr gap, and then down to you with 3yrs.

I'd suggest to pretend you dont know so your NOT nervous or anxious. I know its harder than it seems, but if you are too out of whack, she'll see it in your body language, and maybe even how you speak.

What I would do is find out why all the sudden its a guy your age now, or if you know her friends, see why she has been in 2 with older guys.

Some quite honestly like older guys and there is nothing more too it. They could date a high school guy, or a guy just in college, or a guy with a career, lots of life experience, and the whole deal.

Again it depends on the woman, and since I dont know her I cant say what her deal is.

I know a few girls who I could date at the age of 18 and heck even 16 if I felt like it, but I dont. I'd never date a 16yr old girl. lol

But what happens with some is that they see a guy who is NOT young, who isn't the typical high school or early college type, who has a career, goals in his life, may be successful, etc etc, and they just like that. So they try to go after a stable guy. They dont have to worry... What is this goof going to be like in 10yrs after high school? Instead they have a guy who is there.

Truth be told, some women settle down with these guys. Not all the time, but sometimes they do cause its so much easier since there is already so much there.

Again it varies. Some 18yr olds would say i'm as old as dirt, and mean it. Some would think its awesome, and be happy they are dating a more mature guy than a kid.

Anyway, if you dont have more info as to why i'd see if you can find it out, as it may help.

I know a girl who may like older guys cause she has never had a STABLE place to be. Dad hates her she thinks, mom and dad are divorced, she is always a different place every week, and an older guy with a stable life is kind of up her alley. She could very well think... I could have a great guy, one who loves me, one who will provide for me which I never had growing up, he can give our kids a great life, and not what I had, and he wont be a bad dad. It happens.
 

cNfny

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Nice. And she just told me that its because older guys "have their head on straight" which makes sense but I feel like I can't be myself which is teasing/funny/****y. I have this picture that her previous guys were the stern type.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Omen

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I tease, I'm funny, and ****y, and the ones I know still love it. They dont want a BORING guy, just remember that. And they know I can be serious and all grown up at the same time. You have to balance the two.

You dont go to a business meeting and act like the above, but you act professional.

The point is, you carry yourself different in certain situations. I know when and how to turn on both, and that's what some like. They know you can be serious and be funny/teasing/****y.

If I wasn't like that to some, they would never be as open as they are. It makes them relax.
 

EFFORT

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cNfny said:
We're meeting up. I'm in my early 20s and she's anour 3 years younger and has been in two relationships both with mid 30s guys.

Anticipating the hang out is makin me anxious in a nervous way, I can't understand it. I was thinkin maybe because of her past its putting pressure on me. I keep running the night through in my head and its not helping.

Advice?

stop putting so much importance on this one chick. Seems to be the most common problem on this forum, guys living in scarcity instead of abundance. Start approaching chicks all the time, build up lots of options and always have new ones or the ability (this comes from putting in your field work time) to get new ones at any moment.
 

cNfny

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Good point. She has also told that for the most part she's shy. Kind of explains how itd be easier for an old guy to win her over.
 

decades

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use her as an FB. not relationship material.
 
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Just be yourself, she wants to hang out with you for some reason. So she obviously likes you for who you are, not your age. Forget about the guys she dated in the past.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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