She works at a joint I frequent...

[Abbott]

There's this young lady I think I like. I know at least I'd like to meet up with her and get to know her a little better.

She works at a coffee shop, which I frequent. I typically go there thrice a week, sometimes a fourth time. However she doesn't seem to work much, since I might see her once in that week. I never stick around. I go there, buy my coffee, and leave five minutes later.

I knew her from high school, though I never really talked to her much then. It's by sheer chance that she happens to work there. When I started going there, my decision was not in anyway based on her employment there, since at the time I didn't even know she worked there. And no, I don't try to time my visits so I'll happen to "see" her, I go at the same times regardless of who might be working at the time.

I'd like to "ask" her out (well, not really ask but you know what I mean). However, I'm concerned that if it doesn't work out this will make things weird whenever I go to the coffee shop. I go there often enough that the clerks almost never ask what I want, since I always get the exact same thing every time. So obviously, they know me.

I once made the mistake of asking another young lady there if she was going to be there on some other day where I always visit, and the other young lady asked if I "liked" her. I didn't reply to that question.

The other day when I happened to visit, she happened to be on break so I did have a chance to talk to her for a few minutes. It was her idea, I didn't suggest that we sit down and talk. I simply said "Good evening" and asked how she was doing like I always do.

If this was some young lady I happened to meet somewhere, and it didn't work out, I wouldn't be concerned. However I think it's different since she works at a joint that I frequent.

Are my fears valid, or are they unfounded?


Ben

 

[Abbott]

BUMP.


C'mon... 21 views already and no replies?

And let me reiterate that whether it works out or not isn't the problem, it's whether there might be repercussions if it doesn't work out, since she works at a place that I frequent.

I hope the no replies isn't because people think I'm just another idiot who's afraid of being rejected. It's about potential repercussions, which would affect me. Very different from someone who you meet at some random place, she rejects you, you never see her again, and it doesn't matter.


Ben

 

[The Juan and only]

From the sounds of it, the only joint you frequent is a fat spliff of marijuana.

but seriously, you need to ask her out...even if she refuses (which seems unlikely)..there won't be a problem...both of you will get over it in no time at all.

 

[superchristx]

How can things become awkward at your cafe, do they check your cool-card at the door? This is a business where you exchange money for overpriced coffee, it won't become awkard as long as your money is green. Is this the ONLY cafe in your city? You save the money from a week's worth of coffee and BUY a Mr. Coffee, save yourself a mint. Hell, invite this girl to your place for a cup o' joe.

Truly, if this is your only issue then YES, your fears are ridiculous and unfounded. Thing is, I don't believe your 2nd post, that it isn't about rejection. Potential reprecussions that would affect you? You must be insecure if when a woman rejects you, you never want to see her again. You must be insecure if you're pissing yourself after (gasp) 21 views and no response.

Bottom line: It will make absolutely NO difference if you ask her out. She knows you want her, she can see it in the way you walk, the way you look at her, the way you say "skinny-decaf-vente-mocha-late." She works in a cafe so she's used to geeks ogling her and being afraid to ask her out. She voluntarily talked to you, that's a buying signal. She couldn't make it any easier for you. Grow a pair.

 

[wheelin&dealin]

If you go to this coffee place alot I wouldn't bother. Why burn your bridges and make the situation awkward when you can pick-up a fist full of numbers off hot broads in the shopping malls.

 

[Boner da Stoner]

Keep the conversations light... try and get people into it... use what you have learned on the entire group... make it seem like you are a real guy after you leave the place. That is when people consider you alpha, when wherever you frequent people remember you and KNOW you.

But you shouldn;t be scared of anything, I've invited girls who I've seduced at coffe shops to my place after they finished work... find out what time she's finished for the day, and tell her you will be there to pick her up ... if you control the situation and stay in the game without coming off as desperate for her attention you will succeed.

Just stop being scared, you are scared, and you know it, you want us to tell you you are scared, and we are.
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Originally posted by JC Jerkson
Do it.

JC

Total Posts: 643 (12.06 posts per day)

you are starting to piss me off JC... start posting insightful posts, you just keep coming with one-liners, and you are losing all my respect.

 

[Abbott]

JC Jerkson:

I was thinking I would. I just wanted to be sure that my fears were unfounded.

The Juan and Only:

You said: "From the sounds of it, the only joint you frequent is a fat spliff of marijuana."

That comment was uncalled for.


As far as asking her out, I'm thinking I will.

Superchristx:

What I was concerned about was that if it didn't work out, then the next time I come in the staff will think "Here comes that creepy scary weird man," and that would be reflected in their behavior. After all, as you probably know, women just love to gossip.

Surely you can understand why I wish to avoid that?

About the last part: OK, makes enough sense. I try not to be obvious but nevertheless you're probably right.

Wheelin&Dealin:

OK I'll keep that in mind next time I go to the mall.

Boner da Stoner:

OK. I'm naturally friendly so that shouldn't be too hard. For what it's worth the staff generally know what I want, since I order the exact same thing every single time (I don't even know what else they have). So they already know me. Three of them (including the young lady in question) even know my name.

Your story does make me feel better. I did have a hunch that my fear what unfounded, but I figured I ought to post this since I couldn't have been the only one in a situation like this.

You were right, I was a little scared. I was concerned with what might happen if it doesn't work out. Because unlike most women, I'll see her again since she works at a place I frequent. It's not like most cases where, if it doesn't work out, it's very very easy to never see them again. If it didn't work out, it'd be silly to change my habits because of it, since the coffee is good enough, so I probably wouldn't stop going (unless they become a real pain in the butt). I was just wondering what might happen, and I was a little concerned that the result would be quite negative.

I'm certainly not as scared now. I get the impression that the risk is much less likely than I thought.


Ben

 

[Boner da Stoner]

Originally posted by Abbott
"Here comes that creepy scary weird man," Ben

lol they say that about me sometimes within earshot... it's a ruse, and they really don;t pay attention to that really creepy scary weird man (lol lots of nice ******** words) unless he really is, than they complain and want something done about him...

You'll know if your going over the line if you fear it, but don;t let anything get awkward, and nothing awkward will happen.