She offers to take me out on first real date?

[MaddXMan]

Hey there - I had a priming date Tuesday with a very attractive woman. I met her at one of those mongolian grill places which was great atomsphere, and provided plenty to talk about when selecting food and watching it be cooked up. We are both single parents and have much in common. She was kinda shy but it was easy to keep the convo flowing - she started asking questions about me showing high IL. Asked me what my fave food is, I told her seafood, she comes back with "Well the next time we get together I will take you to ABC restaurant, my treat!" And the place she named was very good, but pretty pricey. Huh? I told her you're on and said let's go Saturday, and she agreed, but no details set. Held hands to her car, a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek, and over.

Sooooo what next - I have not had someone say she is going to take me out so quick, on what would be a first real date. Kind of a control thing, I don't want to be waiting for her to call to set the details and I was too busy to call tonight. If we do reach each other and get things set what do you all suggest? I will be driving of course, but don't think I should let her pay even though she offered. What would you all do in this situation?

 

[flexion_]

I think she is just saying that she will pay for the meal. You do all the rest.

 

[Vulpine]

CYA

Cover Your Azz

Pay your own half. Women use the payment of dinner as a sh!t test. Granted this woman may be an exception because she's a single mommy and probably a bit more "realistic". But, it is a control thing of sorts. Women don't want freeloaders and, even though she set it up herself, will probably overthink the pay thing as most women do.

Furthermore, as far as you being you and doing what YOU want, you have implied that you feel a bit guilty for eating on her dime. By all means, pay your half because it makes YOU feel good. That alone is reason enough.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I think she is just saying that she will pay for the meal. You do all the rest.

Why?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

CYA

Cover Your Azz

Pay your own half. Women use the payment of dinner as a sh!t test. Granted this woman may be an exception because she's a single mommy and probably a bit more "realistic". But, it is a control thing of sorts. Women don't want freeloaders and, even though she set it up herself, will probably overthink the pay thing as most women do.

Furthermore, as far as you being you and doing what YOU want, you have implied that you feel a bit guilty for eating on her dime. By all means, pay your half because it makes YOU feel good. That alone is reason enough.

I don't know what types of women you guys meet. If a woman offering to pay for dinner is just for the sake of giving a sh1t test, she's nexted. I have no time for games so I seldom come across this type of game player.

I'm going out tonight with a woman who's paying, first it was just for drinks but now she's offering dinner. I was going to suggest going to a club after dinner until she threw out a hint that she wanted to go to dinner on her side of town. Hmmm, wonder if I can manage a tour of her place after dinner, we'll see...

 

[GirlCrazy]

Unless either of you are hurting financially for the cost of a dinner, I'd say it doesn't matter who pays. Anyone can whip out a piece of plastic.

Doesn't sound like she meant it as any kind of sh1t test. It's probably just a way for her to show her interest level.

You could always suggest that she cook dinner for you instead of buying it.

 

[legolas]

First of all I think you should always split the bill. If a woman expects you to pay for the whole thing, she's a b1tch, she's not into you and she's exlpoiting you. If however she wants to pay for the whole thing it's sending one of two main messages (and you can easily tell which one)

1. I'm so emmbarrased with this date and I don't want to have any obligations to you about anything. This is closure for me.

2. I'm so into you that I'd love to take you out but the only acceptable way of doing so is for me to offer to pay the bill.

Let me remind you that sometimes it's okay to let her take the lead as long as you enjoy the ride. Remember that you are in control the whole time and she's not "controlling" you by choosing when to call. Just relax and let her miss you don't begin to stalk her before anything that has shown her stalkworthiness has happened

 

[xmlenigma]

A lot of subtle sub communication is lost here.. In what tone and based on how she felt about it.. you wont know if it was a **** test or whatever..

Some women like to do things.. for men.. simple. She found out what you like and likes you enough to "treat you" .

"Well the next time we get together I will take you to ABC restaurant, my treat!" And the place she named was very good, but pretty pricey. Huh? I told her you're on and said let's go Saturday, and she agreed, but no details set. Held hands to her car, a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek, and over.

Response should've been more like.. "sure dear.. I'd love to but I hope you're not using that to entice me.. smile.. But, I do appreciate the positive energy you bring into our interaction. "

She puts forward positive behavior.. reward her.. but subtly .

It shows her that is a GOOD BEHAVIOR TRAIT appreciated by you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm going out tonight with a woman who's paying, first it was just for drinks but now she's offering dinner. I was going to suggest going to a club after dinner until she threw out a hint that she wanted to go to dinner on her side of town. Hmmm, wonder if I can manage a tour of her place after dinner, we'll see...

Just a follow up. Dinner and drinks went well and we did end up at her place. Had a bit of fun even though I didn't spend the night; but she set up another date for later in the week after work for a bike ride.

I guess what legolas said was true, that the woman is either really into you or very embarassed. I say don't get yourself into the latter by making sure you qualify her first. After that, everything else seems to just fall into place.