She just broke up with her BF, how much "time" should I wait?

[mystic03]

This woman, who is now my friend, I liked from the very first time i saw her but didn't want to make any moves because she was part of a group of friends I was starting to hang out with and I didn't ant to stop getting toghether if anything went wrong, you know...
that was like a year and a half back. So when I decided to make it she was already dating someone who became her bf until now. They broke up, and for the strangest reason while they where on their realtionship, I admit I still liked her but didn't see her like a GF potential. A soon as she told me she broke up with the guy the feelings and thoughts came back. Now I want her, i need to go out the friendship zone, yes that deadly zone and also how much time should I give her? confused:

Please give me your opinions.


Thank you....:

 

[DJDamage]

After a woman breaks up with her boyfriend depending how tight they were, you need to give her some space so she will calm down and let time heal all wounds. If he broke up with her and she loved him then it would be harder or easier for you depending what route you are choosing to take (read next paragraph).

Some women tend to jump right into another relationship so they won't feel lonley and be sad all the time. Those are called rebound relationships because a woman will tend to lower her standerds to be with a guy so she can feel loved again. She will choose either two extremes: either the AFC who will worhship her and not get any or the jerk that will fvck her constantly.

After her self-esteem comes back to normal she will be raising her standerds once again and the AFC or Jerk will be disposed as soon as possible for another man.

In your case she sees you as a friend and therefore in most likelyhood nothing will come of it. However she might be willing to date you because she is looking to feel wanted again, but it could be for a short term.

You should be taking the Don juan route. Don't date her unless you are dating other women because currently she only cares about her and her feelings and she wouldn't really care who she hurts, as long as she is getting her fix for the moment and then moving on.

You might be able to fvck her a few times but don't be surprised if eventually she decides to place you back in the "LJBF zone".

 

[score]

Hmmmm. I usually wait until the half life of the former relationship or 2 months. Whichever is sooner. I know...I know never use "rules" but I have been the "rebound guy" several times, and some breathing room seems necessary if you want to be the long term new BF.

The sex can be great but as day follows night I was replaced. Of course once I waited a mere few hours after she had broken up with the BF before making my move- what could I expect?

My best advice and what has worked for me is to do some type of pattern interrupt where you place yourself and her in a situation that knocks you out of friend status. Something that shows a side of you that she has never seen, wild if you're quiet or vice-versa. Accomplished most easily I think by activities like say rock-climbing, salsa dancing, etc. (Also good incentive to actually HAVE lots of stuff going on in your life you can draw from). Take this all with a grain of salt. If you feel the moment though you may want to jump earlier than later or someone else may fill the hole.

 

[cave dweller]

sweet...........

Hey,

my 2 cents here..............

I would take the gamble and move on her now.

She may just date you as a 'rebound' guy.

She may dump you and get back with the ex.....

But, I would try to date her, if, I had strong feelings for her.

I would not wait.

Like I said.........my 2 cents

cave dweller

 

[mystic03]

Thank you all

~ªêQµïTª$~, I'm actually doing what you described, thou I'm not allways there for her. I think it's a lost cause, I don't see any interest at all from her, but I'm trying not to think of that, not to think negative.

 

[Jariel]

WAIT!!!

I was in the same situation not long ago, but this girl left her boyfriend for me. Everything was great until her breakup hit her, then she kicked me to the curb and started hating me for her break up.

Sometimes, a breakup can have a delayed reaction and, trust me, you don't want to be in the middle of that!

 

[Jariel]

Re: errr....

Originally posted by ~ªêQµïTª$~
Jariel: If he lives his life fearing everything that happened to OTHERS, he will not get anywhere in life.. One needs to take risks in life.. like the saying goes "Its better to have done and regretted, than to have not done at all" ... If he doesn’t do something because of what happened with you and YOUR girl. If he bases his decisions on other people's problems, then he might as well sit at home and not bother at all, because every problem that can be thought of with women has been experienced with people, sometimes or another.... He should maybe be more cautious about it, ye, but must not be dissencouraged to do it because of others bad past experiences.

I agree with what you are saying, but I'm just saying he should have some patience and sum up the situation before he acts, especially if she is a friend and part of a group of friends.