Really appreciate some advice here.
Here's the background. There is this girl I first met around 8 years ago. We both fancied each other and started going out but unfortunately a week later I had to go away to the military and didn't have chance to see here a lot for a whole year, so I didn't work out.
Throughout the years we stayed in contact but went out with different people each. Due to university and work I was far away from here most of the time. We had a couple of romatic evenings and weeks in between, the last already 5 years back. I was ready to commit to the relationship, but she said she needed someone who would be around here more often than I could (I was living a 2h flight away). At one of the incidents she even broke up with her long time bf for me.
As I said, for the past 5 years we have just stayed in loose contact, although I suspected she still had feelings for me (I know I had! - but didn't show it). She has now been in a relationship with a real boring loser for three years. Through mutual friends I have been told she doesn't exactly have the hots for him but he is "nice" (think Beta male), lives in the same city (they actually moved in together 1 year ago) and is generally "comfortable". Since statistically 80% of women are not happy in their relationships but don't do anything about it, this is probably not an uncommen situation. Due to my travel, I haven't actually seen here in person for 2 and 1/2 years just talked over the phone and email. Here emails have always been kind of suggesting that she still has feelings for me, but I thought they wouldn't be strong enough to make this work. Then 2 weeks ago, I got a weird email from here about how I was here first big love and stuff, and she thinks about me every day. But she said she was only able to tell me this, because we probably wouldn't see each other soon anyway. I was a bit shocked about this email. The next week, by pure chance, I went to a local party in my hometown and saw here (here bf not present). She was really nervous and could barely speak, when she saw me. When we did talk, she tried to take my hand and told me nervously (and desparate) that I am the only one she ever loved and she loves me so much...but is getting married to her bf next year (when she said this, she looked like she was going to cry). I told here that I would be there for her. She said (almost under tears) that she can't have a relationship with someone far away (the truth is that I will be around a year a 1h flight away, and after that closer and possibly in the same city as her, so not that crazy).
I am currently trying to set up a 1-on-1 (unfortunately she has a cold), am currently staying fairly close to where she lives, but will leave in 2 weeks to take up the job 1h flight away (so I am running out of time, which is always bad). I believe her feelings are genuine (she would have no reason to lead me on as the situation seems to cause her grief) but she is of course hesistant to meet me as I could destroy her "little world".
What do I do? I believe she want's out of her current relationship but my not have the guts to do so. Putting pressure on here could drive her away, but putting no pressure on will mean things stay as they are.
Help appreciated!
Here's the background. There is this girl I first met around 8 years ago. We both fancied each other and started going out but unfortunately a week later I had to go away to the military and didn't have chance to see here a lot for a whole year, so I didn't work out.
Throughout the years we stayed in contact but went out with different people each. Due to university and work I was far away from here most of the time. We had a couple of romatic evenings and weeks in between, the last already 5 years back. I was ready to commit to the relationship, but she said she needed someone who would be around here more often than I could (I was living a 2h flight away). At one of the incidents she even broke up with her long time bf for me.
As I said, for the past 5 years we have just stayed in loose contact, although I suspected she still had feelings for me (I know I had! - but didn't show it). She has now been in a relationship with a real boring loser for three years. Through mutual friends I have been told she doesn't exactly have the hots for him but he is "nice" (think Beta male), lives in the same city (they actually moved in together 1 year ago) and is generally "comfortable". Since statistically 80% of women are not happy in their relationships but don't do anything about it, this is probably not an uncommen situation. Due to my travel, I haven't actually seen here in person for 2 and 1/2 years just talked over the phone and email. Here emails have always been kind of suggesting that she still has feelings for me, but I thought they wouldn't be strong enough to make this work. Then 2 weeks ago, I got a weird email from here about how I was here first big love and stuff, and she thinks about me every day. But she said she was only able to tell me this, because we probably wouldn't see each other soon anyway. I was a bit shocked about this email. The next week, by pure chance, I went to a local party in my hometown and saw here (here bf not present). She was really nervous and could barely speak, when she saw me. When we did talk, she tried to take my hand and told me nervously (and desparate) that I am the only one she ever loved and she loves me so much...but is getting married to her bf next year (when she said this, she looked like she was going to cry). I told here that I would be there for her. She said (almost under tears) that she can't have a relationship with someone far away (the truth is that I will be around a year a 1h flight away, and after that closer and possibly in the same city as her, so not that crazy).
I am currently trying to set up a 1-on-1 (unfortunately she has a cold), am currently staying fairly close to where she lives, but will leave in 2 weeks to take up the job 1h flight away (so I am running out of time, which is always bad). I believe her feelings are genuine (she would have no reason to lead me on as the situation seems to cause her grief) but she is of course hesistant to meet me as I could destroy her "little world".
What do I do? I believe she want's out of her current relationship but my not have the guts to do so. Putting pressure on here could drive her away, but putting no pressure on will mean things stay as they are.
Help appreciated!