She got a boyfriend: Should I ask her number?

[neobrood]

I've been DJing a chick lately and she said she got a BF. Done ****y and funny on her and did a bit of touching... and she likes it. She gives off this happy look, is 10x more energetic around me than around anybody else, her body movements become restless around me, and there's something goin on with her pupils...

I was holding back a bit on touching her (I know I coulda been more aggressive) and I am thinking whether or not I should ask her number.

If I ask her number, will her defenses go up?

Cuz right now, I'm just keeping her on her toes. I think she got AFC boyfriend because the guy called her up 7 times in one day, which is against the DJ rule of showing too much attatchment. But her boyfriend gave her this bandana of his... which will make her remember him everyday... which is even a tactic to make the girl remember you...

Not really sure if the bf is AFC or not.

And why is she like that around me? Normally, when I'm around a chick with a bf already, she doesnt act so flirty.

So... Should I go and ask her number or continue to keep her on her toes until she leaves her current bf?

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DAMN!!! WHY DO I ALWAYS END UP WITH THOSE WHO ARE MARRIED AND THOSE WHO HAVE BF ALREADY?!?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Two things I want to point out:

1- See how she acts around you and then compare how she treats other guys. If its clearly different, then you know she must be attracted to you.

2-Don't put any effort into it. Make her chase you and pursue you. Because she does have a bf already, so in a sense she's got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Make sure your pimping other girls so you don't get too hung up on her.

If the two points I made above are true, then # close her and hang out. If she's willing to do that then your foot's in the door.



PIMP

 

[jakethasnake]

I think this is pretty much spot-on.

This - from mASF (oh, you're welcome. ).




Q: "What do I do if she says she has a boyfriend?"

A: First of all, in your initial meeting with a woman, don't go out of your way to ask if she has a boyfriend unless it is part of the conversation. Asking about it will give her the impression that you're trying to get with her and your approach will lose some strength. A woman will introduce the boyfriend (real or not) into the conversation in 2 ways:

1. "I have a boyfriend." This is usually given as a response to you asking her for something ("Can I have your number?", "Let's go out.", "Let's get to know each other better.", etc.). If that is her first response, you have not done enough work to attract her or you have supplicated to her (asked her for something - her number, a date, whatever) and did not structure an opportunity for HER to get with YOU rather that YOU trying too hook up with HER. At this point, don't give up (especially if you seem to be setting up some good rapport). Rather, regroup, refocus, and reframe the situation in your mind. Don't make her boyfriend mention a big deal and simply keep building up your personality. Don't TELL her you're a super/great/awesome guy. SHOW her by your actions, your mannerisms, your confidence. Give her the subtle impression that whoever ger boyfriend is, he doesn't have what you have. He can't offer what you offer. Then, instead of supplicating to her again (asking for number, blah blah), structure an opportunity. If she doesn't take the bait, move on.

2. "Yeah, blah blah, my boyfriend did that the other day. Blah blah." A lot of the time when a woman mentions her boyfriend (real or not) in this way (as part of her conversation rather than as an excuse for not getting with you), she is doing 2 things. She is asserting her desireability and quality, and she is testing to see your reaction. Treat it as simply part of the conversation. Remember, just because a chick says she has a boyfriend does not mean he makes her happy, satisfies her, or is meaningful to her at all. Wommen CHOOSE to be with someone and they can CHOOSE to not be with that someone and be with you. Your job is to attract her, get her excited about you, then structure an opportunity for her to get with you.

Suggestion from Maniac High:
Maniac: I am pretty busy right now, so lets go to coffee and get to know each other a bit more.
Chick: I have a boyfriend.
Maniac: So what does that have to do with anything?.. I mean I didn't ask him to coffee, I asked YOU. How about next Thursday?

An important note: JUST because she says she has a boyfriend, does NOT mean that she is offering up resistance. She might have OTHER reasons for saying she has a boyfriend. Let's review:

Reasons why chicks say they have a boyfriend:

1) Some women ALWAYS say they have a BF as a way of testing or prescreening a guy. She wants to see if he is weak or if he persists. She is determining if you are someone that she might want to spend time with.

2) She really has a BF and she is fulfilled/satisfied with that relationship.

3) She doesn't have a BF, she's just saying that because she's not attracted to you. (NOTE: If she DOES have a BF, and she IS attracted to you, many times she will "forget" to mention him!)

4) She DOES have a BF, she IS willing to sleep with you; she just wants to make sure you understand her situation. She wants DISCRETION and UNDERSTANDING. And though she might be available to you for sex, she's NOT available for a commitment.

5) She DOES have a BF, but doesn't want to feel guilty about cheating on him. This is classic "chick logic" at work here and is good, because it means you are on your way to a ****, even in spite of the BF... Basically this happens because she thinks that if she tells you about the BF now, she can relax and let you **** her anyways, since its "not her fault now" that she ****ed you, because, she *did* tell you about the boyfriend, and you ignored it, i.e. she "had no choice in the matter."

6) She DOESN'T have a BF, she IS attracted to you, and she doesn't want to look like a loser who can't get a man. (Most HBs have many "orbiters" anyway.nice guys who hang out with her and want to sleep with her. Maybe sometimes they take her on dates or go shopping with her. Since the word "boyfriend" can have so many different meanings, she is thinking of one of her orbiters as a "place keeper" when she makes this statement.)

7) Sometimes she brings up her boyfriend and it is clear that she is only trying to convince herself.

8) She may or may not be attracted to you, and she had no reason at all for blurting out that she had a BF. Sometimes women get a little nervous or uncomfortable, and just blurt some bull**** out of their mouth for reasons they can't even fathom. ALWAYS watch their responses before putting stock in their words!

~lovedrop, 2002/01/22, mASF

 

[neobrood]

1) Some women ALWAYS say they have a BF as a way of testing or prescreening a guy.

I agree. She mentioned she had a BF. I didn't ask her if she has a bf or not... she mentioned it without any provocation at all...

And her BF is real. She was talkin on the phone with him and her voice tone was in a sweet kind of tone...

So... I didn't show signs of insecurity. I just kept talkin to her as if its nothing.

- See how she acts around you and then compare how she treats other guys. If its clearly different, then you know she must be attracted to you.

she is always in a happy mood. she is always restless. In front of other guys, her voice tone is a bit more serious and her mood isnt really in a happy kind of mood.

Make her chase you and pursue you. Because she does have a bf already, so in a sense she's got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Make sure your pimping other girls so you don't get too hung up on her.

So I'm doin the right thing so far (keeping her on her toes and letting her pursue).

I'm pimpin other girls too...


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thanks guys...