She forgot about lunch

[InExtremis]

TUESDAY
So I get talking with this HB I used to work with (have only ever met her twice) and all goes well, she seems to flirt alot, no red flags from what i could see. We set up a lunch date, she suggests and insists that we shake on it and as the conversation breaks off, writes her number down for me just as i was about to ask for it. Date is set for friday.



FRIDAY
Friday rolls along and i have been busy all week (this is my only free day). Anyway I call her friday morning (may have called Thursday but she was working all day) after planning an interesting sorta lunch at an ice rink i live near (so we can also have something to do and it seems more fun/date like). So the conversation goes like this (fresh in my mind, it happened 20 minutes ago).

HER: Hello?
ME: Hi is this HB?
HER: Yes
ME: Do you know who this is?
HER: No
ME: Its InExtremis
HER: ....
ME: Lunch ...
HER: OOOHHH ... Im with my friend, sorry i forgot all about it!!
ME: *kinda laughs it off* (arrghh .. dont think it was too bad tho)
HER: Can we make it a late lunch.
ME: Uhh .. what do u call a late lunch?
HER: Umm .. 2:00 .. 2:30?
ME: Thats cool I was going to make it then anyway (true)
HER: Where are you taking me?
ME: I was gonna make you wait and see ..
HER: Ok well will you be home today?
ME: Maybe, im not sure, ive got some stuff i gotta do .. (true)
HER: Ok, well I'll call you before then, and if you arnt home, just call me again at 2:00 and we'll organise where we are going to meet up.
ME: Alright
HER: Ok I'll talk to you then
ME Ok, Bye.


I really thought this girl was into me, theres alot of stuff i left out like her laughing at damn near everything that came outa my mouth, playfully hitting me on the arm when i busted on her, talking to me enthusiastically. At least she didnt blow it off completely but i guess if i was into someone, i wouldnt forget about a date (she actually suggested lunch before i did). I guess this post is about pre-date jitters (its now 10:45am), but id like to know what you guys make of this and how it affects IL and its seriousness. Im going to go ahead with my plans as if she never forgot ... maybe if things go well she wont forget the next date ..

 

[Benny]

By the sounds of it she seems interested in getting together with you (or she is a really great actress). Anyway, if it were me, I would go into the date and not even worry about it.

If things go well, then set up date #2, and if not, no biggie, there are lots of other girls waiting. Just don't make it an issue on the date. Make her think that she is just one of many girls who is lucky to go out with you.

 

[legolas]

Wow, same thing happened to me today

I also had this lunch thing set up, nothing fancy just at a cafeteria. Called her up, she said she was dong somthing and would call me back. I waited about an hour, no call. I call again leave a message. She then calls, apologizes and sys she'd meet me there. I wait another hour (damn I'm so desperate, but hey I had nothing to do anyway) she never shows. I leave and don't call back.

The way I'm looking at it is: "She probably forgot" So I don't take it personally, but I consider it strike one!!! So what am I doing? I'm throwing another pitch The rule is three strikes and she's out.

 

[InExtremis]

UPDATE

Well I called her back at 3pm and she didnt answer her phone. Now im thinking she may not be interested because if she knew we were going to do something she would make sure she had her phone with her. Unless of course she saw who was calling (after taking note of my number which would have come up on her phone when i rang up the first time this morning) and decided not to answer.

I'll try again one more time in a couple of days and ask her whats going on/accuse her of being untrustworthy/flakey in a half serious way. Whetever her excuse i'll ask her how she's gonna make up for it.

 

[michelangelo]

Look, I'm no Master of the ladies here, but....



WAKE TH F*CK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you learn anything from this site, it should be that it is time for NEXT!!!!!

Same for you , Legolas!!!

Do you guys ever "forget" about a date with a chick you LIKE??? NO!!!! Do you forget to call back?? NO!!! That is because you are interested. These women are not.

If she can't remember a date she made 2 hours earlier, she is brain dead or not interested.


If you call her back over and over, you are being AFC, not a challenge.

 

[Dirtheart]

I have to agree with Michelangelo here. Flaking or forgetting a date is a very early sign to look out for and it's time for you to bail out. Even if she is interested, she sounds like the sort of person who'll mess you around and it's extremely disrespectful to arrange a date and "forget", and you should consider yourself worth more than that.

 

[tristan22]

Some people love to beat the dead horse, that's for sure. I cringed when i read about the girl "forgetting" about the scheduled date. Her memory was good enough, to hang out with her friends. A true example of low IL.

 

[MisterAl]

Low IL, she's not interested. You shouldn't have time to put up with flakes, so move on.

You made too many phonecalls. When you first set the date, always set the exact time and place you'll meet.

Instead you created a situation where you had to call her back twice to chase her again before the first date. Why make all this extra work for yourself?

 

[Hollowpoint]

Originally posted by michelangelo
Look, I'm no Master of the ladies here, but....



WAKE TH F*CK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you learn anything from this site, it should be that it is time for NEXT!!!!!

Exactly.

 

[NewMan]

Don't put up with this kind of disrespect....

 

[RabidDog]

She gave a counter offer, so give her a second chance.. this time.

 

[NatureGuy]

I would give her the benefit of the doubt
and take her counter offer. She doesn't
know you that well, so you can't expect to
be a top priority with her yet. She may be real busy, maybe even getting alot of interest from other guys, so you need to be patient and get to know her (using the basic 'DJ' principles) first.

 

[InExtremis]

Originally posted by michelangelo
Look, I'm no Master of the ladies here, but....



WAKE TH F*CK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you learn anything from this site, it should be that it is time for NEXT!!!!!

Same for you , Legolas!!!

Do you guys ever "forget" about a date with a chick you LIKE??? NO!!!! Do you forget to call back?? NO!!! That is because you are interested. These women are not.

If she can't remember a date she made 2 hours earlier, she is brain dead or not interested.


If you call her back over and over, you are being AFC, not a challenge.

michelangelo, im not holding onto any false hope here. Of course I realise its time for a Next. I already decided a couple of hours after my last post that i wasnt gonna call back. I also mentioned in my first post that I wouldnt forget a date if i was into a chick .. the same thing you said in your post. Trust me, I never had plans to call her over and over.

Dirtheart, I agree, she's not the sort of person i would want to date anyway.

Originally posted by tristan22
Some people love to beat the dead horse, that's for sure. I cringed when i read about the girl "forgetting" about the scheduled date. Her memory was good enough, to hang out with her friends. A true example of low IL.

Trust me i cringed too ... it actually caught me a little off guard because she sounded so damn excited for the date. The thing was she wasnt at her house, she was in the middle of the city with her friend, a place i definately cannot pick her up from because of the traffic. That was why i assumed she said she was gonna call back or if she didnt get me to call her, to see where she is so i can pick her up/meet up whatever. Thats why I realised AS SOON as i hung up that i shoulda made the pickup point and time there and then. thats the only mistake i can see myself to have made that stands out, and i think if she was into me, it wouldnt have mattered too much. Don't exactly know what you mean about the reference to beating a dead horse .. some of you guys seem to assume im going to drive to her house at 4am in the morning and start singing love songs through her bedroom window pleading for her to marry me.

*She said she forgot
*She said she would call me back .. if I was out when she rang call back at 2pm.
*I knew she was getting flaky/low IL so i called back at 3pm
*she didnt call back/pick up phone

I gotta say tho I was confused things didnt even get to the date, she just seemed too into it, even insisting that we shake on it so that neither of us would go back on it. Gotta remember that women can flake no matter how many signals they give out or how much they seem to wanna go out with you, even if they initiate the date .. a flake is always possible.

IF i run into her again, i'll ask her what the deal was, take note of the random excuse/BS and move on.

 

[InExtremis]

Originally posted by NatureGuy
I would give her the benefit of the doubt
and take her counter offer. She doesn't
know you that well, so you can't expect to
be a top priority with her yet. She may be real busy, maybe even getting alot of interest from other guys, so you need to be patient and get to know her (using the basic 'DJ' principles) first.

The thing is we exchanged numbers last tuesday, so she has my number, meaning that she can call me herself to explain what the deal is or appologise. If she wasnt with her cell/mobile phone at the time i called, then she would have got a "1 missed calls" message and realised it was me.

 

[NatureGuy]

Sure, she should have called to cancel or reschedule, but she's only known you for a few days (since last Tuesday),so you're just a minor blip on her radar at this point.
She doesn't really know you - don't expect too much at this point.