"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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She controls the frame, calls the shots, i f'd up big time, can i do this?

pikachu_69

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This girl I was seeing i'm waiting for our get back together dinner and she has exams this week. I set up a date for Friday at 9pm and I saw her today with my supposed rival and I was sitting right in front of them, face to face on the next table. I swore I saw him kiss her cheek during mid convo out of the blue, then she did the same and had his arm around her.

I have bad eyesight and I thought I was seeing things at 1st cos I heard a kissing sound, I was like 'wtf?' then I swear I saw it again out of the corner of my eye cos i heard a kissing sound. Then I was thinking like, u know what? F this i'm gona tel her to cancel our meet on Friday.

So I took her to 1 side and I say to her 'so you seeing that guy?' she goes 'no! we're just really good friends.' I said 'well I thought I saw u kissing' and she's like 'what? no! he has a spanish gf!'

Now am I really stupid that she'd lie right to my face like that? At that moment I realised.. oh fvck I messed up and look insanely jealous.

I gave her present cos it's Xmas for her in her country and she said thank you. In that moment she seemed to like me again. Her phone is broken now and she can't access anyones numbers.

She then tells me 'doesn't know what she's doing Fri cos her friends finish exams and they probably want to go out celebrating' basically she doesn't want to committ to a time to me.

I go 'ok so lets do Sat' she goes 'let do Sunday cos then i'll be definitely free' then I push for a time and go 'ok so i'll come get you at 7pm' then she's like 'well dont just show up knocking on the door' I said 'why? are u going to forget?' then she tells me 'take my email and we'll confirm then' I was like 'no i dont want your email' I felt like a little kid having to use email to correspond a confirmation.

Her IL is low. I can tell that hence her non-committal to a time. Also she's starting work this Monday and has meetings with the business people this weekend so doesn't want to commmitt to a time yet again.

I'm being way too pushy but only cos she won't give me a time. I then go back to sit down with her and then her friend comes back and I spend the next hour figuring him out and I think the dude is trying to run game on me, trying to come across as more intelligent, more close to her ways of doing things, I didn't realise this guy had game I just thought he was a boring so and so. I think secretly he likes her, and I hope he's friendzoned. It doesn't help I came across jealous. It probably didn't help that I stayed there till the guy left cos I was tryna figure him out so she must have felt I was being insecure and needy and clingy instead of going back to my table.

Anyway when he left she decided to leave too, she didn't want to be around me in fear i'd push her for a time to meet up again maybe.

But I did it anyway. As she left I go to her 'so lets just meet up for dinner on Sunday, u said before u cant do friday, i said saturday and u said sunday is cool' now she's backtracking and getting angry with me! IT's like she's pulling the angry face so i'll back down knowing i don't want to make her mad to push for a time.

I repeat myself about the friday/sat/sunday thing and she just gets angry again. Then I calm her down by saying 'look you're the 1 who said sunday was cool, so when is better?' she says 'next week' and as next week is so far away me pushing her for a time after all this is too much.

I give her my number cos she cant access it in her phone but i dont tell her to contact me. she just says 'give me a way for me to reach u' I'm making the mistake of making her feel obligated to meet me rather than WANTING to meet me.

I'm royally screwing it up and she controls the frame and calls the shots. Exactly what I dont want. I have to NC her now right?

Is it unreasonable for me to expect her to give me a specific time and not have to push her for it?

I feel as if i'm trying to get her to commit and she doesn't want to commit cos her IL is lower than it was last week.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Kailex

Master Don Juan
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You're saying it yourself. Her IL is low.

NEXT.
 

boomerick

Senior Don Juan
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Didn't even need to read the whole thing. You are a chump orbiter kept around to make her feel good. Free yourself. NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, if you haven't already, read the DJ BIBLE.
 

boomerick

Senior Don Juan
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Nope! Not at all! to the OP--next this chick and build yourself!
 
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