She accepts date, but then gets cold

[Sensible]

Hello everyone,

I'd like to share the awkward situation that I'm in to find out what the hell has happened cause I am completely confused. Sorry that it's long.

I am an exchange student at another country. There's a very beautiful girl in the school. I didn't have interest in her because somebody told me that she had a boyfriend so I was playing on other girls. Until, she started flirting with me (at the same time I learned that she didn't have a boyfriend). The thing is, we didn't speak more than 2 sentences with her. She started touching me, squeezing my arm, touching my hair and giving me very long eye contacts. I am sure that she was attracted, I asked her out and made a definite date (I let her choose the time and day).

The whole process went on like this: As I saw her on the corridor, I said: "Hey, I was looking for you. Come, I want to speak with you." She seemed interested and answered as "yeah?". I was a little nervous so I didn't even say how are you. I took her out to the garden and there I asked her if she would like to go out with me. She said yes and we set a definite date. After, she touched my arm and went back in. I smoked a cigarette and went back in as well. I saw her on the corridor, she turned to me and giggled. An hour later when I went out for another cigarette, I saw her carrying a suitcase, she seemed in trouble so I asked her if she needed help with that. At his point, I should let you know that her English is pretty bad and actually I have no idea how much bad it is. She answered "no". Then I asked her where she was going and she told me the name of the city only. I asked her if she was coming back tomorrow, she said "no". I learned that she was going for an art festival for a few days. The only text I sent her was a text saying "This is my number", to give her my number; the same day.

From Tuesday to Saturday(the day we were gonna meet) we didn't speak or text and she was at the festival. On Saturday when we were supposed to meet, I sent her a text 2 hours before, to tell her where we should meet. She answered me saying that she is still at the festival she can't see me today and she is so sorry. She didn't reschedule. I confirmed that this wasn't a lie because we have mutual friends. My answer was: "That is okay, have a nice day". I didn't ask for another date. When she came back, she was colder and she was ignoring me. At this point I can tell that she doesn't care about me because she doesn't check out on me when we are together with a group of friends.

Two days ago I saw her in a pub, she looked at me and smiled - I smiled back. I went to her and said things like hello, how are you, did you make plans for the holiday... She didn't speak more than "nothing, yes, no" but she kept eye contact. She was with a family member, she introduced me to her. I looked at her hand and I'm not very sure but I think her hand was shaking so I'm also keeping the possibility that she might be afraid from me somehow. Then someone else approached me and as I started talking with the other person, immediately she turned her head back to her friend and kept on talking. She never looked at me again, at least not that I know of.

What the hell has happened? Did I do something to turn this girl off?

 

[El Payaso]

Her interest dropped for some reason. No use pondering why. Spend that energy on other women or things instead.

 

[pyros]

This is super easy, take notr for future situations like this:

She liked you BUT...she was also more interested in another guy. She got the green light with this other dude and now she wants nothing to do with you.

Simple as that.

 

[the_stig]

Their interest level rises and falls like the wind, you'll drive yourself mad trying to figure out why, so don't. Act like she doesn't exist and she may come back around. Be seen flirting with other girls while ignoring her and watch her really perk up.

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle. Stop trying to figure out why.

AFAIC she found a better man or he just became available. When a woman's interest starts dropping, drop her or reject her first. She accepted a date from you just to be nice and didn't want to reject you to your face.

Oh yeah, one-word answers...and after a flake, you have failed with this one. Delete this girl from every platform you have her info on (Instagram, facebook, twitter, #, email, Skype, etc.) Judge nismo's orders.

Case closed. Exit the courtroom.

 

[Sensible]

Update!

I'd like to thank the_stig for his advice to act like she doesn't exist. I did exactly and she came around. I don't think that we will end together but I can write this for others; for educational purposes. After a month of walking away and meaning it, she finally came to me, asked how I am and even had a very brief conversation. I've read before that the strongest point in negotiation is being able to walk away and it's real.

Any advice on how to proceed from this point?

 

[Tomo]

You're only just a means of validation buddy. By all means do as you will but most likely if you ask her out again she will flake.

1) The reason she flaked before - festivals: no need to guess what happens at festivals
2) Find a girl whose interest in you is sky high. When you do, you'll ask yourself why you wasted so much time on woman like these and maybe become realistic enough to learn that beauty does not mean she can act like a b.....

 

[Thundernuts]

Listen to Tomo.

Sounds like you are dealing with an attention *****.

Listen carefully. Don't start conversations with this girl, dont approach her or txt her. Matter of fact just go no contact, this girl is only speaking to you because she wants confirmation that she can have you anytime she wants (classic sign of an AW). She has no interest in you and i can garentee she blew you off for the art festival because she was spending time with another guy.

Put this chick on the backburner all she will do is waste your time and piss you off.

I've been in your exact same shoes and this girl is doing everything my last AW did to a T. Don't allow yourself to think there is hope man all it will do is bite you in the ass.

 

[slikkmeister]

I don't think you have failed yet... She was upset that you were showing other girls attention, and in her little princess mind her hamster made her want that attention, regardless of her attraction to you.
Obviously you see this girl often, ignore her and show every other girl in the room attention. If you have to make eye contact with her, do it very briefly and immediately roll your eyes after you look away. It drives the AW nuts. If she tries to contact you just ignore her, and if she confronts you just let her know that you are extremely busy living life and don't have time to return all the messages or calls or emails you get. You can get this girl if you really put your mind to it. But, make sure that's it worth it first!!!

 

[Mike32ct]

When dealing with a foreign chick, always remember that her English skills are proportional to her attraction.

Ugly guy => She says, "Me no speak no %#%* language."

Average guy => She says, "Me speak a little English."

Hot guy => She says, "Im a professor with a PhD in English Literature."

Back on topic, she broke a date and did not counteroffer. There's nothing more you could do. You won't ever know how or why she lost interest. Women are fickle.

 

[FortunateSon]

Your princess is in another castle.

I get the impression that this Princess may be a figment of your imagination.

 

[El Payaso]

She only talked yo you again to see if she still had you. It was purely for validation purposes.

 

[Sensible]

Update2:

As I kept on gaming, her flirtation got more intense. She showed more and more interest. Just as I ask her out for the second time, she got cold again as before and then she blew me off like last time.

Here is a twist in the story: The day that I asked her out, I went to a party and she was there. Then I found her making out with a GIRL on the balcony. Holy...