sharing my ****y/funny wisdom

[PIPE-DJ2002]

hey djs
i want to share some of my ****y/funny lines that i always use when talking to a chick..
lets see..

yesterday i saw this chick and i just said hi
she just smiled to which i responded
"what?? don't i get a kiss"

and it worked, she kissed my on the cheek... and i said
"wow, u are kind of forward, i know Im good looking but u should hide your impulses,,, i mean.. i don't even know ur name"

( this one is good cuz am not asking for her name... am just saying that i dont even know it... nice)

she gave me her name and asked for my name..
( when a girl asks for ur name is the best opportunity to throw a ****y/funny line

i said... "mmm!! ok but first u have to say
PLEASE... sexy good looking stranger give me ur name.." (damn this one is good)

she said the whole thing, laughing.( the key) and i continued to bust on her.

after she said... PLEASE sexy good....."
i said
"oh.. now i get it... you are picking up on me huh???
"that is the weakest pick up line i've heard today"

(try them... they really work!!)

after that i said
"this is ur lucky day....... cuz u just met me...... but no flirting please..... ill do all the flirting part".

by now she asked for my number.. and i interrupted her saying..
" i think u are trying to seduce me with that smile.... what happened to the old days when people used to make friends first???

and she just cracked up...lol

she said " u are weird" to which i responded
"i'm glad u like it".

then i threw some negs like " u look cute in that outfir.... my lil sister has the same one"..lol

(i always carry hershei kisses(chocolate) in my pockets..) now it was my chance to give her my favorite combo...!!

" hey i have a surprise for u", " but im not going to give it to u yet...its for later"
(i learned that from david deAngelo)

and she was just all over me saying what is it...

after she gave up i launched the combo...(to create tension and increase her attraction)

i said..
"ok... im going to give u a kiss"

she just had a shocked face
to which i replied..
" don't get too exited yet, im talking about a hershei kiss." (and i took it out)

damn this one always works...

i said..
" didnt ur mom warn u about taking candy from strangers?.. she said yes.. to which i said " and its bad for ur teeth"

she continued to laugh and i said

" u have to say please sexy friend(u get the idea) give me a kiss"

she actually said that...
and today she invited me to the movie...
hell im having a great time with this..

i hope u guys enjoyed this.. and i know u too can share ur wisdoms..."

lets share

 

[ESPN]

Nice stuff.

Try this:
Say hi, wait for her hi and then accuse her of looking you in a 'l want you' way.
- I know that look, firt you look my this way, then you gonna ask for number, and then you start thinking about marriage, hey easy there, l am not that easy.
Then wait she stops laughing.
Say
- I didn't want to say but you kinda foward, can't we be friends first?.

 

[T Dog]

Like almost the exact same thing happened to me last night. I was so money, DJ’s.

I was sitting in this restaurant with some friends and this fine looking girl comes my way and I said, HI.

She looked at me and said hi back. I mean it was so easy. I said, Nuthing. Then she asked me if I want a dance. It was just that easy.

I'm like, holy **** this fine a$$ babe wants to dance with me!!!

So I say sure in this ****y but funny way and then she like sits in my lap, rubbing her tits all in my face and her **** was pressing against my d!ck! It felt so good, I just knew she was the one for me.

I mean all I said to her was HI and she all over me. After the song was over she sat on my lap for a while and talked. I did the 70/30 rule where I talk and talk and talk, which must have worked because she put her fingers on my lips and seductively told me to be quite. When she took her finger away I decided I better go in for the close and I asked her for her digits. She was fine and all and I wanted to take her out for coffee and then to the church to get married, because no girl has ever danced for me like that since the previous weekend.

Anyways she said no, but counter-offered with me giving her my number. I know she will call because she was giving me all this Kino and stuff.

Then she asked me if I wanted another dance. I hadn't even recovered from the first one! So, I told her no.

Then she said I owed her $20.00. I was like WTF?!!. She was sending me all these mixed signals. I didn't have $20.00 so I told her that I didn’t have it, but I'd love to take her to a 5star restaurant later instead.

Well, she must of had a BF because after she left this big fukker came over and kick my a$$ and threw me out. Anyways, I’m banned forever at Back Door Sally so I can’t go back and talk to her and see what’s up. But she has my number and is going to call.

DJ's what should I do when she calls me back?!!!

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

LOL @ T Dog.

 

[Bones]

T Dog don't worry man, sometimes these broads can be hard to figure out. If we understood what women were thinking, then we wouldn't need this forum, right? If you really think she's a gold digger then maybe she's not right for you. IMO you should just play it cool when she calls, being the ****y/funny DJ you are. She should be thrilled to be getting the valuable time of a don juan like yourself. About her boyfriend, he just looked stupid by showing anger in front of her, so you probably scored some points with that. Just kidding obviously, that's some funny **** TDOg.

 

[JoeMonkey]

You definately have the "humor" thing down, T Dog.

 

[T Dog]

Thank you, Thank you. I'm here every thursady nite and saturday nite.

T Dog