Sex Ed

[Eventide]

Beeeeeeeeeeep

All right all right, class dismissed. Wait wait, I want to see you after class.

errm?

No not you, don't go back to sleep though, I don't want you to be late for your next class. You. Yeah, you, the kid that's been in the bathroom for the passed 10 minutes, with the Jergins clumsily hidden in your pocket.

(Blushes)..huh?

Don't worry, you aren't in trouble for anything, I just need to have a word with you. Let me ask you son, are you a virgin?

..n....no.

You sure? This is just you and I, and I don't care about that macho nonsense.

w...well yeah.. I came close once, but I, uh, "went" before we could even get started.

Don't worry, I'm sure you aren't the only one that's happened to. I figure a lot of you high school kids want to become sexually active, but are afraid to embarrass yourself or you don't know where to start. You want me to help you learn how to impress your girl?

..sure I suppose so.. will you write me a note so I'm not counted tardy to my next class?

Yeah sure. First things first. You kids today only seem to have one thing in mind: instant gratification. If you want to become an amazing lover, you have to masturbate accordingly. If you masturbate in order to reach orgasm as quickly as possible, what makes you think you'll perform otherwise when you're with someone else. Have you ever started masturbated, and then stopped before you even reached orgasm?

no, that kind of defeats the purpose of jerkin it doesn't it?

Jerkin it? Look, we're mature people here. Lets talk like it.

sorry

Ok. You might want to start trying it. Not only does it help train you, but it will give you an even more intense orgasm when you finally do reach one. Also, to increase your pleasure, delay it.

Huh?

Try masturbating and stopping right before you orgasm. Then rest for a couple seconds. Cool your hand off, open your eyes, take a quick break from the fantasy. Then go again. It might take a bit of practice to stop in time, though. Once again, this trains you and also builds up to a better, more intense orgasm. Let me ask you something, what did you and your girl do after you came too early?

Well, I cleaned up, and then we watched The Real World.

You know, just because your penis is out of commission for a little while doesn't mean that you can't light a little fire inside of your girl.

Sorry but I don't think that she's into that masochism stuff, sir.

(Sighs) ...It was a metaphor. Anyways I've got some special homework for you. Don't worry just a little reading.

First, I want you to learn a little about your girl.

Now, I don't necessarily want you to turn into so bisexual masochist swinger, but I want you to try and adapt a more mature idea about sex.

Next, you might want to learn to put your fingers to better use.

Also, you need to learn how to use your tongue for something other than talking. A lot of guys don't like this, but I don't see whats so bad about pleasuring your partner like no other. If you think there might be some cleanliness issues, take a bath with her and clean her out yourself.

Finally, when you finally go all the way with her, you're going to want to impress her.

Remember: practice safe sex

All right, head on out to your next class. Oh and do me a favor, don't tell any of the faculty about our talk... I don't want to lose my job.

Uh, ok.

Oh hey, one more thing.

Yeah?

If you ever jerk off in the bathroom here again your going to have to explain why to the principal.

..sorry

 

[RKS]

haha , hella funny
that was a like a joke
but you can learn tips?

ha

 

[Eventide]

I'm not sure what you're asking, but, I think this is the answer you're looking for: While the post was written with humor, the techniques are 100% serious.

 

[Sammo]

Nice post buddy

 

[RKS]

ha i dident mean to put that ~ ? ~

 

[Smooth as Anything]

Great post dude. Very well done, very informative. Written in an entertaining manner.

Bible material.

 

[Oxide]

thank you.

 

[fragmentor]

Originally posted by Smooth as Anything
Bible material.

Erm, let's not go nuts. Fairly good post though.

 

[Eventide]

rhymes with jump?

this is the bumped edition
of that post about dippin
Eventide's rollin that body
Got every guy in here wishin
That he'd just stop dancin
And get some food from the kitchen

I felt that my "Six Step Method to Sex," as Mikelo2k named it, would be a good addition to this post.

Originally posted by Eventide

Anyway, here's what I like to do when I feel like putting some nipple in my mouth.

Step one: Make out. This doesn't really need explaining, as it is easy enough, and has been covered enough in other posts.

Step two: Get closer. If my girl isn't close enough (I like her to be on my lap with her legs wrapped around me, mmm), I just grab her hips and pull her closer. If my member's happy, I want to make sure she feels it.

Step three: Intensify the kisses, and make them more passionate. Nibble her earlobes, wrists, inner elbows, neck, be sure that all the while you're exploring her with your hands (stay short of the breasts and vagina for now, however, feel free to traverse the inner leg for a bit). Be sure to rub your fingers through her hair. A very little amount of playful tickling works well here.

Step four: Make her wet and perform "saftey checks." Here are a few things you can do to make sure you don't get shot down when you try to get the shirt off, while arousing her at the same time. Rub the inner legs more, still staying short of the vagina, but closer than step three. If she pulls her hips away, you aren't there yet. Also, rub her butt a bit. Watch her body language. While doing this you might want to pull them apart a little, dont like grab each cheek in a death grip and stretch, though. Just push together a little and bring your hands towards her stomach. I can't remember who said it, but someone posted saying that it spreads the lips of the vagina a little, which can be stimulating. It was some guy who talked about hoes a lot and had a very "gangster" writing style. If I remember who it was I'll edit this for them. Another thing to do is to put your hands on her hips and slide your hands upwards, moving towards her back just after the ball of your palm graces the outmost portion of her breasts. Make it subtle so its not obvious that you're meaning to feel them. Once again, watch body language.

If she responds positively perform them again, except traverse slightly more of her breast and inch closer to her vagina. Don't go full circle and grab them just yet, though.

Step five: If she responded well, take her shirt off. Don't ask, just do it. Slide your hands down to her hips, grab the sides of the shirt, and pull it up. If you aren't sure yet, keep doing step four. Try the breast thing with your hands under her shirt but above the bra.

Step six: Basically keep doing step four, but be sure to regress back to step three now and then to keep the kissing interesting. Finally, you may try and rub her breast. Only one, and only do it for a second. Then go back to steps 3 and 4 for a while. Soon enough, she'll be dying for you to take her bra off, so slip it off and have fun.

This method, while still being experimental for me, should save you the trouble of her blatantly shutting you down like that.

Good luck.

It seems, to me, that actual transitions between the various "bases" haven't been covered too well or in depth on the boards, and if anyone else has their own styles or strategies, please, do share

 

[Ded_Skin_Mask13]

interesting posts buddy. I'll make sure to keep that in mind for tomorrow night. And too bad about the jack off ****. i haven't done it in so long that i forgot how to. SERIOUSLY!