Seriously pissed off with myself

[Dan08]

So I hit a club tonight looking decent with a few friends and although I've only pulled once in a club since trying to become a DJ I wanted to make a go of it tonight but could I? F_ck no, I didn't approach sh!t, I didn't see sh!t in the way of girls I wanted to approach and it really f_cking depressed me that I couldn't have the balls to go out and at least start a conversation with a girl.

Don't get me wrong, I had a really good night with my friends but I feel at this rate I'll never be able to approach girls in a club, it just is such a difficult environment to work in!

 

[TheCWord]

Hey Dan,

Maybe the club scene just isn't for you when it comes to picking up women. Nothing wrong with that. It's the same way with me.

I like striking up conversations with girls at coffee shops or waiting in line somewhere. Just find your comfort zone and do your thing. You're not competing with anyone. Have fun.

 

[Dan08]

Hey Dan,

Maybe the club scene just isn't for you when it comes to picking up women. Nothing wrong with that. It's the same way with me.

I like striking up conversations with girls at coffee shops or waiting in line somewhere. Just find your comfort zone and do your thing. You're not competing with anyone. Have fun.

I just put myself under pressure to do something and now I'm regretting it. I don't really frequent coffee shops but I'll definitely try to expand into it.

Like you say CWord, it's all about having fun and I need to get that into my head regardless of other things, thanks for taking the time to reply.

 

[Alvafe]

dude if you just want to see if you can hit that in a club, just go to a girl ask her name, then ask

her if she have a BF

if she find you atractive

then ask what is her excuse to not kiss you now

if she bite or not don't matter just keep cool and do it, she back off move on

but I don't like clubing so it rare for me go like this

 

[Demonpenz]

You went out. You saw where you are at. That seems like progress to me. Sometimes progress is just finding out where you don't do well.

 

[j0504s]

Im gonna take a jab at this, but I think your friends arent used to seeing u hit on random chicks, so this caused u nerves...having ur friends see u in that light...maybe they didnt push u or help u b/c they dont have the same intrest level in improving with chicks....also a good tactic when i started out was trying talkign to the bartender to get ur ego up...they have to be nice to u b/c they work there plsu they want tips so soometimes that helps...just try talking up randoms thta u dont give two sh1ts about...get ur GAB going!

 

[Dan08]

You went out. You saw where you are at. That seems like progress to me. Sometimes progress is just finding out where you don't do well.

Cheers Demon, I never saw it like that but you're right I now need to address it.

Im gonna take a jab at this, but I think your friends arent used to seeing u hit on random chicks, so this caused u nerves...having ur friends see u in that light...maybe they didnt push u or help u b/c they dont have the same intrest level in improving with chicks....also a good tactic when i started out was trying talkign to the bartender to get ur ego up...they have to be nice to u b/c they work there plsu they want tips so soometimes that helps...just try talking up randoms thta u dont give two sh1ts about...get ur GAB going!

They're not. And yup they don't have the same interest level, I'm trying to get a close mate up to speed so we can wing each other but it's a slow process.
I will try for sure!

The plus side from that night out is that I knew alot of people there and I made a point to go out of my way to say hi to them and greet them like long lost mates and introduce them to others so I tried to play the host and get around the club.

 

[Mike32ct]

I don't recommend forcing approaches. If there was honestly nobody that you wanted to talk to, that's fine.

Sometimes they aren't attractive. Sometimes they are attractive/doable, but still not your type.

I mean if you're on a "must get laid" mission, then maybe force yourself to approach for warmups. Once warmed up, then focus on who YOU want to talk to.

But just forcing conversations because you feel you have to is PUA nonsense. You put too much pressure on yourself and ruin your fun. Most importantly, women can FEEL/SENSE when you have zero interest in them, and you are forcing a conversation almost mechanically. Why would she respond positively to that?

Maybe you just felt pressured to perform in front of your buddies or felt the need to compete on some level. But it's not a competition. You have nothing to prove to them. Everything should be done on your terms. Another night, you'll be out and you'll WANT to talk to a certain girl. There might be some approach anxiety, but you'll push through it because YOU want to know what this chick is like as a person AND later on, what color her panties are lol.