Self-Sabotage May Have Adversely Affected The Way You Approach Women

[crumpiteer]

Self sabotage is essentially when an individual engages an old conditioned habit or way of being that undermines their success, integrity, self esteem, self worth, self confidence, their happiness, their relationships, their health, their wealth, and so on.

Although such behavior to any sane person would seem totally illogical (because it is) to the person who harbors it at an unconscious level there appears to be some sort of "logic" that is driving it.

This unconscious logic is just that "unconscious" and hence the person who is engaging the behavior that it supports cannot see it clearly. It is when it, the unconscious logic, is made conscious that the negative behavior vanishes spontaneously.

Self sabotage is a pattern that is seen in individuals who have experienced some form of emotionally traumatic experience in their early life. If not properly cleared the memory of this incident sets up in them a sense of vulnerability, fear and hyper vigilance around any event or situation that resembles it in some way.

For example suppose that you experienced a very bad relationship in the past. The negative emotional imprint of this relationship will still be inside you.

Whenever you attempt to engage a new relationship you will be vulnerable to re-experiencing the old painful emotions again. The fear of doing so often leads one to unconsciously sabotage their current relationship so that they will avoid feeling the past trauma.

Hence the self sabotaging behavior is in an attempt to maintain a sense of internal emotional peace or harmony.

What is interesting here is that the self sabotaging behavior appears to become engaged automatically and appears to be out of the person's control. It is what many might refer to a "bad habit" and habits are thought to be out of our conscious control.

So the individual may actually feel "out of control" of themselves and may find themselves unhappy at the outcome.

So I hope that you recognize that the unconscious choice to maintain a sense of control over the emerging old negative emotions from the past wrestles control away from the individual in the present as they attempt to make another go at a relationship.

This is what some people might refer to as "living in the past" or I might refer to as "being enslaved by the past".

Classic signs of this can also be a severe lack of faith in your own ability, a major obsession with worrying about the 'uncontrollables' before races, and of course, losing from a winning position. This sabotage is generally brought about if you allow your mind to focus for too long upon failure and all the things that could go wrong - as this sets up a powerful blueprint for the body to follow on the day of the meet. The good news is that your subconscious mind is programmed by your everyday conscious thoughts - so this mean that you actually have control over what goes IN to your subconscious. You have the right to CHOOSE whether you are going to think about success in your next race, or how you are going to 'bomb out' - and this choice separates the winners from the wannabees.

If you experience self-sabotage it takes a steady diet of daily visualization, affirmations and positive thoughts on a daily basis until the results begin to turn around. Probably the most effective way to avoid sabotage is to generally avoid negative thoughts in the first place. Choose to disregard momentary doubts and negative comments from others, and focus purely on what you want to do - or better still, what you are GOING to do.

Remember - what you choose to focus upon, expands. Ensure you choose every thought wisely, especially leading up to a meet - choose thoughts of power, strength, confidence, energy, fun and motivation. Your thoughts become your habits, and your habits become your results.

any thoughts on this?

 

[DarkChaos]

Yeah, I can see that. It's practically my life story. It's like a cycle. You think X will happen, so you have to figure out what happens if X happens and what happens if that happens and you psyche yourself out.

 

[AsianPlayboy]

Practically speaking, your face has these microexpression muscles.

If you go into a cold approach and you're already thinking failure, your body GIVES you away. The girl may not consciously know what's going on but she's picking up on the SUBCOMMUNICATION.

Those hundreds of tiny facial micro muscles sell you out due to INCONGRUENCY and fear.

 

[KoalaKing]

For me personally if I meet a girl whom I believe is way to gorgeous for me and would never think of going out with me, it is this girl who likes me, but if I feel that a girl should be very easy for me to get I can never get her, this seems to be the reverse of what you are all saying, but this is how it seems to work with me. :yes: