Self Help, Self Hate, Self Acceptance, and Self Love

[TheFixer14]

So, I've been going through al of these things and what they mean to us.

A lot of men become self help junkies. I was there. Why do we do it? Because it ****ing works. You look at your problems head on, fix them, and get results. It's very hard to face your problems head on and it destroys a lot of people. But, it is necessary in order to move on with your life.

But, the issue with too much self help is that it can perpetuates self hate. Let's say for example you are dating a gorgeous woman. She is close to everything you want in a woman (there's no such thing as the perfect woman), and you do one small thing that ends it. You then start looking at yourself and get upset. You feel as though you HAVE to change and begin that process and aren't happy until you change.

Here's the issue, that kind of self help just comes from a bad place and you end up hating yourself. The scary thing about self help that is fueled by self hate is that it can work. Because we are constantly telling ourselves that we are not good enough. That we don't approve of ourselves because of some woman.

So, what we need more is self acceptance and self love.

I was looking something lately that has rocked my emotional world, I already made a thread about it. I dissected what happened and could see where I might have acted a little weird. At first, I started feeling bad, the self hate slowly started. Then I asked myself a very simple question.

Who says that I have to change?

It is okay to accept yourself for you are. You don't have to change for a woman and it's okay to go for women who will accept you for who you are. I really like what Urbanyst said in another thread about messing up. There is no messing up. You just reveal your personality more. And the woman either likes it or they don't. Sad thing is, when a woman sees one thing that they really don't like, they ditch us. While us men always have to put up with their ****. For some reason this is accepted. I call bull****. Unless you are a murderer or something, you don't really need to change for anyone.

You should only change if you actually want to, not to get laid more. At the end, you are just going to feel like **** and when the next challenge happens, it's going to just make you like a failure.

We as men are taught to keep getting better. But if it causes self hate, then what's the point? We need to not always accept who we are, but loves ourselves for all our traits, negative and positive.

Lately, I've been taking a break and just taking care of myself. Eating good food, spiritual healing, even jerking off. I've also put more focus on my career and creating a better lifestyle. I'm been transmuting my "pain" into my art and that has been very fulfilling.

Women can take away our sense of selves so easily if we allow it. I hate how this society allows women to have such poor behavior. But that's just how it is and we have to not only accept it, but approve of it as well.

But, at the end of the day, we only got ourselves. Women will never fulfill us or make us happy. That's an inside job.

 

[switch7]

self acceptance is key. Once you accept yourself for who you are and quit trying to be something you are not, you end up following your real passions and doing what you want to do rather than what you think other people will be impressed by. Unfortunately most people think success equals lots of money and a hot wife. I say be careful what you wish for.