Superman X
Banned
Originally posted by Wall_Street on mASF....
http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/guests
Fundamentally, success with women requires two things: self-confidence and experience interacting with women. Think about this and tell me if you disagree or not.
Having true self-confidence does a lot of things. It means that your self-esteem is not on the line every time you interact with a girl. It makes you a happier person all the time (the real goal of life). It is a very attractive trait to women. It keeps you calm in an interaction and it leads you to say and do the right things. Rules like "don't supplicate", "don't get one-itis", and all the rest of the Manual's rules (which are all accurate by the way) are all subsets of having self-confidence. Self-assured men follow all these rules already, naturally. In fact, the reason these rules are so important to newbies is exactly because it allows them to appear like they are the kind of self-confident men who do these things naturally and to whom women are attracted.
Experience with women basically means experience talking to women. However, this experience must be varied; you have to have experience talking to hot women, ugly women, old women, young women, fat women, frigid women, everything. You also have to have experience talking to women in sexual situations, and also in platonic situations. Having all this experience in different situations allows you to judge situations accurately. You will know whether a girl likes you sexually or not. I haven't worried about whether a girl I like likes me or not for a looong time... I know exactly where I stand and the probability of future romance from the experiences I've had. Having experience means you're ready for any situation. You will find yourself saying and doing the "right" things with women, the things people post on here and urge other people to learn but really can't be learned because they emerged out of confidence and experience.
"Naturals" are that way because they have these two things: self-confidence and experience with women. That's all you need. You can be a natural too. You have to find something inside yourself you can gain confidence from. I gain confidence from a lot of things: success in sports; success in school; high intelligence level; great family; great friends; great heritage; great experiences (travel, gambling adventures, other wild times); etc. etc. etc. You can find lots to be proud of.
I'm of the belief that it is pointless to memorize routines and structures and all that. There is a certain allure to having it "all laid out for you"... in theory using a routine or a structure makes it easy for you to mimic someone else's success, but on a deeper level, it allows people to avoid getting hurt because it is not their self-esteem on the line; if the material doesn't work they are not to blame, the material is. Unfortunately, the corollary is true too: when you have success, you will not feel inner pride and your self-confidence will not improve as a result. You didn't win the girl, TD did or Mystery did or RJ did or whoever told you what to do did. The girl loves who you are pretending to be, not who you are. Your self-esteem improves as much as it would if you dunked a ball using a trampoline. Sure you dunked the ball, but... I believe you should be yourself, and say your own things, because then when you have success you will gain real self-confidence and self-esteem.
Now that last point has always been controversial. People say being yourself hasn't worked for a lot of guys so they should give up and try making themselves into something else. First of all, this is devastating to someone's self-esteem. They will spend the rest of their lives trying to make themselves into something they're not, which will prove impossible and will lead to a lot of depression and psychological problems everytime the person realizes fundamentally they are not who they appear to be. This is like when Mystery says everyday he wakes up as the awkward virgin loser who has no game, and he has to talk himself back into his identity. I bet what Mystery doesn't tell anyone is that this divergence causes him a lot of sadness and grief. Women don't **** Erik the man, they **** Mystery the image. Do you remember the guy from school who was such a comedian, but it felt like he was *always* "on"? He was never real? After a while that guy seems very pitiful because you realize he doesn't have inner value and thinks the only way people will love him is if he acts as a character that he's not. This also applies to guys who get drunk before picking up women because they need the "liquid courage". Any success they get will not translate into real self-confidence.
OK, now you're asking how you can be yourself and have success with women if "yourself" is a lame-o loser. Well this is how. "Yourself" is not one person. You are many different people all in one. Think about how you act around your boss, compared with how you act to your best friends, compared with your parents, compared with a cop, compared with your garbageman, etc. etc. etc. We all have many different "sides" of us, that come out at different times. Unfortunately, for many guys the side that comes out when they are talking to women is a quivering, nervous chump who says stupid things. Many guys think that is "themselves"... ironically it is the side of them that is the least like "themself" because it usually only comes out around women. What you have to do is find that side of you that women actually like. It's in there. You might have to piece it together, perhaps taking the confidence and humor you exhibit with your friends, combined with the social skills you use at a ****tail party, combined with the secret superhero you are when you play Half-Life (a video game). Whatever. *Every* trait you need to attract and hold on to women is inside you, somewhere. The trick is to bring it out appropriately with women. Now, how is this done...?
EXPERIENCE- Saying and doing many different things around many different women so that your subconscious creates an awareness of how women respond to different stimuli that you deliver; and
SELF-CONFIDENCE- Which will help you fight through bad times, when you say or do stupid things and you feel embarassed or that you did the wrong thing around a girl. This means the ability to shrug it off when you **** up with a girl because you can say in your head, "Well I still have my great family and terrific friends. Maybe I'll go down to the *whereever* now and do the activity at which I excel and makes me proud."
And, as you continue in the game, as you gain success being 'yourself', your confidence in your own attractiveness will increase because it's you who's attracting the women, not alcohol, not an image you present, not fancy lines or tricks. You will get to the point where 10 women could come up to you, call you ugly as sin and say that they would rather drink Strychnine than **** you, and you honestly won't care. You will really BELIEVE that there are 3 Billion women in the world and so one-itis is pointless. You will really BELIEVE that, sooner or later, you'll find a beautiful chick to **** and hang out with, and so you won't supplicate or get nervous or overbearing like all the other AFCs. If things start to go bad with a chick you won't worry or care too much because if it doesn't work out, big deal, there'll be other chicks to **** tomorrow, just like there were yesterday, and last week, and last month. I'm talking REAL SELF-CONFIDENCE.
http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/guests
Fundamentally, success with women requires two things: self-confidence and experience interacting with women. Think about this and tell me if you disagree or not.
Having true self-confidence does a lot of things. It means that your self-esteem is not on the line every time you interact with a girl. It makes you a happier person all the time (the real goal of life). It is a very attractive trait to women. It keeps you calm in an interaction and it leads you to say and do the right things. Rules like "don't supplicate", "don't get one-itis", and all the rest of the Manual's rules (which are all accurate by the way) are all subsets of having self-confidence. Self-assured men follow all these rules already, naturally. In fact, the reason these rules are so important to newbies is exactly because it allows them to appear like they are the kind of self-confident men who do these things naturally and to whom women are attracted.
Experience with women basically means experience talking to women. However, this experience must be varied; you have to have experience talking to hot women, ugly women, old women, young women, fat women, frigid women, everything. You also have to have experience talking to women in sexual situations, and also in platonic situations. Having all this experience in different situations allows you to judge situations accurately. You will know whether a girl likes you sexually or not. I haven't worried about whether a girl I like likes me or not for a looong time... I know exactly where I stand and the probability of future romance from the experiences I've had. Having experience means you're ready for any situation. You will find yourself saying and doing the "right" things with women, the things people post on here and urge other people to learn but really can't be learned because they emerged out of confidence and experience.
"Naturals" are that way because they have these two things: self-confidence and experience with women. That's all you need. You can be a natural too. You have to find something inside yourself you can gain confidence from. I gain confidence from a lot of things: success in sports; success in school; high intelligence level; great family; great friends; great heritage; great experiences (travel, gambling adventures, other wild times); etc. etc. etc. You can find lots to be proud of.
I'm of the belief that it is pointless to memorize routines and structures and all that. There is a certain allure to having it "all laid out for you"... in theory using a routine or a structure makes it easy for you to mimic someone else's success, but on a deeper level, it allows people to avoid getting hurt because it is not their self-esteem on the line; if the material doesn't work they are not to blame, the material is. Unfortunately, the corollary is true too: when you have success, you will not feel inner pride and your self-confidence will not improve as a result. You didn't win the girl, TD did or Mystery did or RJ did or whoever told you what to do did. The girl loves who you are pretending to be, not who you are. Your self-esteem improves as much as it would if you dunked a ball using a trampoline. Sure you dunked the ball, but... I believe you should be yourself, and say your own things, because then when you have success you will gain real self-confidence and self-esteem.
Now that last point has always been controversial. People say being yourself hasn't worked for a lot of guys so they should give up and try making themselves into something else. First of all, this is devastating to someone's self-esteem. They will spend the rest of their lives trying to make themselves into something they're not, which will prove impossible and will lead to a lot of depression and psychological problems everytime the person realizes fundamentally they are not who they appear to be. This is like when Mystery says everyday he wakes up as the awkward virgin loser who has no game, and he has to talk himself back into his identity. I bet what Mystery doesn't tell anyone is that this divergence causes him a lot of sadness and grief. Women don't **** Erik the man, they **** Mystery the image. Do you remember the guy from school who was such a comedian, but it felt like he was *always* "on"? He was never real? After a while that guy seems very pitiful because you realize he doesn't have inner value and thinks the only way people will love him is if he acts as a character that he's not. This also applies to guys who get drunk before picking up women because they need the "liquid courage". Any success they get will not translate into real self-confidence.
OK, now you're asking how you can be yourself and have success with women if "yourself" is a lame-o loser. Well this is how. "Yourself" is not one person. You are many different people all in one. Think about how you act around your boss, compared with how you act to your best friends, compared with your parents, compared with a cop, compared with your garbageman, etc. etc. etc. We all have many different "sides" of us, that come out at different times. Unfortunately, for many guys the side that comes out when they are talking to women is a quivering, nervous chump who says stupid things. Many guys think that is "themselves"... ironically it is the side of them that is the least like "themself" because it usually only comes out around women. What you have to do is find that side of you that women actually like. It's in there. You might have to piece it together, perhaps taking the confidence and humor you exhibit with your friends, combined with the social skills you use at a ****tail party, combined with the secret superhero you are when you play Half-Life (a video game). Whatever. *Every* trait you need to attract and hold on to women is inside you, somewhere. The trick is to bring it out appropriately with women. Now, how is this done...?
EXPERIENCE- Saying and doing many different things around many different women so that your subconscious creates an awareness of how women respond to different stimuli that you deliver; and
SELF-CONFIDENCE- Which will help you fight through bad times, when you say or do stupid things and you feel embarassed or that you did the wrong thing around a girl. This means the ability to shrug it off when you **** up with a girl because you can say in your head, "Well I still have my great family and terrific friends. Maybe I'll go down to the *whereever* now and do the activity at which I excel and makes me proud."
And, as you continue in the game, as you gain success being 'yourself', your confidence in your own attractiveness will increase because it's you who's attracting the women, not alcohol, not an image you present, not fancy lines or tricks. You will get to the point where 10 women could come up to you, call you ugly as sin and say that they would rather drink Strychnine than **** you, and you honestly won't care. You will really BELIEVE that there are 3 Billion women in the world and so one-itis is pointless. You will really BELIEVE that, sooner or later, you'll find a beautiful chick to **** and hang out with, and so you won't supplicate or get nervous or overbearing like all the other AFCs. If things start to go bad with a chick you won't worry or care too much because if it doesn't work out, big deal, there'll be other chicks to **** tomorrow, just like there were yesterday, and last week, and last month. I'm talking REAL SELF-CONFIDENCE.
