Seeing Two Girls at Once

[Paprika]

I've been seeing two people at the same time for the past several months. Recently, I was at one girl's house and logged into my email account to download and print an attachment. I know for sure she saw that I was receiving emails from another girl. THe thing is, I may have forgotten to log out of my account, so she *may* have been able to open some of the emails and read them. (On the other hand, I may have logged off. I just don't remember.) By the way, I didn't think I really had anything to hide by simply opening my email account in front of her. For all she knows, they could be emails from female friends.

Long story short, she's accusing me of 'cheating'. Now, I haven't made a commitment to either girl, so it's really not cheating, but that's beside the point.

My question is, do you think she really read through some of my emails to the other girl, and so she really knows I'm seeing somebody else? Or is she just testing me, trying to make me spill the beans and 'confessing' that I am seeing somebody else?

 

[Kal0051]

have you guys agreed to be exclusive? If you did there's nothing I can do to help you, you'd be a cheater then. But no than likely you never said you wanted to be exclusive (though she might have assumed it) then ask her what she's talking about, she'll need to admit she invaded your privacy to further accuse you (she'll look with the bad guy at this point). That's really all the advice I can give you. Sorry man, good luck.

 

[The Logical Player]

I've been seeing two people at the same time for the past several months. Recently, I was at one girl's house and logged into my email account to download and print an attachment. I know for sure she saw that I was receiving emails from another girl. THe thing is, I may have forgotten to log out of my account, so she *may* have been able to open some of the emails and read them. (On the other hand, I may have logged off. I just don't remember.) By the way, I didn't think I really had anything to hide by simply opening my email account in front of her. For all she knows, they could be emails from female friends.

Long story short, she's accusing me of 'cheating'. Now, I haven't made a commitment to either girl, so it's really not cheating, but that's beside the point.

My question is, do you think she really read through some of my emails to the other girl, and so she really knows I'm seeing somebody else? Or is she just testing me, trying to make me spill the beans and 'confessing' that I am seeing somebody else?

how can we know what she read or didnt read?

the only advice i can give you is to use your head and stop being stupid

check your email and facebook/myspace/ect at home by yourself, don't allow yourself to be caught so easily when being a player

and don't listen to the poster above me - does not matter how exclusive you tell the girl you are, because in the end you guys will still break up, so the commitment is never worth it anyway - this is why you should continue being a player when it comes to these chicks, and there is no such thing as cheating on your part - don't let people shame you into telling you how you run your dating life.

lying to girls about commitment and gaming as many girls as possible is THE premier way to play above the game and to avoid heartbreak/AFC-tendencies

 

[Captain]

If you haven't agreed to be exclusive, it's NOT cheating.

It's NEVER exclusive, unless you actually tell her it is.

If she asks if you are seeing other women, say yes. Tell her that you are dating other women. No need for details.

If she has a problem with it, let her go. Don't grovel. Don't admit you were wrong, because you weren't. She'll be back.

Tease her about being jealous if she pushes it. Don't take any crap from her, just walk away and forget about her. Like I said, she'll be back. Competition from other women and jealously are aphrodisiacs to women.

If it turns out she has been through your email, you need to let her know it's not OK.

lying to girls about commitment and gaming as many girls as possible is THE premier way to play above the game and to avoid heartbreak/AFC-tendencies

No, don't lie, unless it's just a one night stand, then use your discretion. There's nothing wrong with dating multiple women. Don't make a big deal out of it, don't act as if you did something wrong, because you didn't.

If she asks if you are seeing other women, you tell her that you are. You aren't cheating (because you aren't exclusive), but she knows she does have competition. She'll work harder to try to get you to herself (but don't give in to her by becoming exclusive.)

If she says to either stop seeing other women or she'll stop seeing you, drop her. She'll come crawling back. If your frame is strong enough, and you've got her attracted enough, she'll want you, and she'll always come back for more. Don't play her games.

 

[Kal0051]

TLP - I never told him to make a commitment to her, I would never suggest making a commitment to a girl unless you wanted to only be with her (which means not gaming other girls). Obviously this isn't what he wants, I only meant that if he did tell her they're committed (some guys will lie about this to get laid) then he can't really do anything (and yes this would make him a cheater). However if he didn't tell he can turn this around on her and make her feel bad about breaching his privacy, maybe then she won't leave him (though this is doubtful). But all in all there isn't much he can do, if she leaves she leaves, next time be more careful. Lesson learned, life goes on.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Write a post about that on enotalone on the infidelity section. I know I did.
The responses you can get pale in comparison to what you can get here:

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=285476

And even after 80 replies on a thread I put today there, I still don't know what to do. Maybe I should have come here for advice instead.

 

[Paprika]

how can we know what she read or didnt read?

I know we cannot be sure if she read it or not. What I meant to ask was do women sometimes bluff and accuse a guy of cheating even when they're not 100% percent sure if the guy really is cheating, hoping that the guy will break down and 'confess'? In other words, do you sense she's playing a game?

Yes, I admit I got sloppy by checking my email at her place, but I was in a rush and didn't have time to check it at home.

Also, no, I have always avoided the issue of exclusivity with her, so she couldn't ever logically accuse me of cheating. But she's accusing me anyway. Some times I forget that women are not logical.

 

[drak_ool]

Long story short, she's accusing me of 'cheating'. Now, I haven't made a commitment to either girl, so it's really not cheating, but that's beside the point.

Actually that's not beside the point, in fact that's the whole point!

You haven't made a commitment to her, so it's not fair game for her to question what you do as soon as you leave her room. Make it clear to her that she has no business question what you do when you're not with her.

I would agree with the other poster that when you are seeing other women, you have to either tell them straight up that you are dating other women, or at least make it clear to them that you guys are not exclusive by hinting that you are seeing other women.

From your posts, it seems like the entire time you have been implying to this girl that you 2 were exclusive, so it would be hard now for you to explicitly tell her you are seeing another girl, unless you don't care if she leaves you or not. But definitely insist on the fact that you aren't exclusive with her, without giving any details on the action you're getting on the side.

However, be prepared for her reaction. She ll either 1) ask you to be exclusive. Is that what you want?
2) she ll make a scene (you walk away) or she ll walk away herself. At this point there's a fair chance that she ll want to get back to you, if for no other reason than the fact she'll be jealous, or she'll wanna win you over... anyway, you end up a winner!