yuppaz said:
Hey man, long time since you updated the journal... hint hint
Been a while since I've posted. I've been meeting the most beautiful women, and honestly I can push the interaction, but I want to get them to invest a bit more so I don't feel so much like a chaser.
In the same boat man. It's a b!tch, I know.
For those that know what screening / value elicitation is, I've decided on some things that I think are important to me in the girl and wondered if you could help with figuring out how to go about getting this info / getting her to hook without making an interview of the process. Here are the values that are important to me (at least as of right now in my life)
I've been reading up on these things recently to pinpoint my low interest chicks and just to take my game to the next level. Hopefully my two cents can help you a lil.
Okay if someone goes up and tells you a story about their passion for collecting nazi memorabilia, that (hopefully) won't make you into a fan of it. In the same sense, telling a girl what you like won't make her like those qualities any more either. The only reason this would work is if she liked the qualities already (because you elicited her values and found out she liked
X/or you just got lucky) OR she likes you a lot already... If she is falling for you, those rose tinted glasses will make the things you do extremely interesting, but until then it is just random sh!t you do.
1. Compassionate - was thinking of telling a story of how I am compassionate and trying to get her to give me one back
Yea there is storytelling or something similar to it called 'Quoting' to elicit values and show your own. Making her tell a similar story afterwards is unlikely to do anything though. If she is a similar-minded person, you will know and she will probably launch into a story on her own volition.
For quoting, you can either tell a story about yourself or something a 'friend' did if it is a little risque or you are unsure how she will react. She doesn't necessarily have to say "I agree with that" necessarily though for it to work.
The guy I read and learned about EV from would talk to women about the sexual mischief that his 'friend' got into and he would decide how to game the girl according to her reactions.
For example, if he talks about his 'friend' banging a girl in a McDonald's restroom and she starts going all glossy eyed and starts imagining it in her head and meta-stating, she is the kind of girl down for risque sex even if she later says how 'slutty' the girl must have been. If she instantly scrunches her face, then he can deduce something from that as well. However, the point of the quoting is to see what her stance is on certain issues in a roundabout way, or to put her into a trance and get her thinking about fvcking by discussing it, not necessarily to convince her to agree that fvcking in a bathroom is what she wants to do.
2. Feminine - Don't know if this is a ? so much as seeing if she's complying, ideas?
3. Fun & ok with being goofy - I can be a goofy guy, really not for anyone else but more to amuse myself. Was going to tell a story about goofy crap that my kid and I do to see if she acted stuck up and too cool, or if she laughs and tells one too
4. Giving - not sure how to go about this, but in essence I would only like to hang w/ chicks that aren't really self absorbed and can give back (love, time whatever) - too many takers in my past to deal w/ that anymore
5. Sensual - along with feminine, don't know if this is a thing noticed (which doesn't actually get her investment) or maybe a question etc.
Okay, with eliciting values, there is a face value and an internal value. Let's say you meet a girl and she says that you are not her type because you are 5'5 and she only dates big huge men. You do not assume that you elicited her value and she values big men, you have to dig a little deeper than that. What is it about big men that you like so much? How do you feel when you are dating a big man? Etc.
By delving deeper into her face value or generic responses, you find out what she really values internally. Once you fill her internally needs, the external ones are irrelevant. With the aforementioned chick, you talked to her and elicited her values and found out that she was sexually abused in the past and having a strong man in her life makes her feel protected and not vulnerable anymore. Now, instead of hitting the gym up for the next two years, you can work on making her feel secure and protected and then watch the panties drop quicker than the NYE ball at 11:59.
If I was eliciting you for example (no homo), I would not necessarily go off of what you said, but rather ask you more questions to get an underlying feeling of why someone who likes these things are so important for you. However, based on what you have listed, I would say that you want someone possibly like your mother. I am not tryina psychoanalyze and label you with a classic Oedipal complex but
Pacing (another NLP-related tactic) would lead me to believe that likely you were closer to your mother than your father as the things you look for are very maternal with hints of unconditional love and acceptance for who you are and what you look for.
But back to you elicting values on others... To me, you are placing too much emphasis on what you what you want and at the same time, not enough. The point is not to display the characteristics you want in a woman, but rather to gauge to see whether the woman you are interested in has them or not. Eliciting values is used to screen. Screening is not really a seduction technique but a means to separate the wheat from the chaff, the ones worth your time from the ones wasting it.
My guess is the problems you are having are due to attempts to start relationships with those who you have not screened because you either did not elicit values on the women, or you got the values and decided to overlook them. From your opening statement of "
I've been meeting the most beautiful women, and..." I think it is possible that you are guilty of overlooking personal compatibility because of physical attraction. I am not suggesting that you go fvck some fat b!tches and force yourself to fall in love, so in actuality I can only see two options on the table
1. Elicit the values to find out what the women already in your life want, then convey that you possess the same traits in your life in a subtle manner and hide stuff that shows evidence to the contrary
2. In the seduction world, there is this old acronym about the stages you go through when you try and pick up a woman: FMAC aka Find-Meet-Attact-Close. The saying that was repeated by the veterans was that after you get your game tight, the hardest part of the acronym is actually
Finding compatible women. So in essence, your other option in my opinion is to just search harder for women that are compatible with your personality AND possess the physical attractiveness that we all crave in this lifestyle. The quicker you elicit values and screen out the chaff, the better.
Hope I helped, also, I think you might want to brush up on some of the NLP ideas a little more just to get a better grip of them.
