Sadly, I'm an AFC.

[burnandrun]

I'll begin by introducing myself to you guys. I'm 28, and in Seattle at the moment but moving to Vegas within 2 months. Overall I'm well dressed, fairly successful blah blah blah...

I've come to realize that two back to back LTRs over the past 5 years have ruined my natural game, and turned me into an AFC.

So naturally, when I found this forum randomly tonight I was thrilled. Please bust my ass on everything I do wrong because I need it. And, I'll appreciate it. As a side note, I've heard reference to the 'bible' - what is that?

Here's my problem, at least where I'm hitting a major wall: I used to be successful with women. I'm not shy but currently approaching random HBs is an issue, because in Seattle women will not make any eye contact with you and their ***** shields are always on full force. Successful getting a ton of first dates, and not making it past that point. Most of the women I go out with are 7-8's (hardly any 9-10s here). Very hard to initiate Kino on the first date. Most of my dates end up being 2.5-3 hours. Usually just drinks. I end up buying as it's my style - bad idea? It's been my philosophy in the past that if I invite, I pay for a drink. No dinners.

Never a problem with sexual advancement, but my immediate issue seems to be breaking past this first date.

Any suggestions?

Great to be here, hope I learn from you folks and can contribute back at some point.

-B&R

 

[powpow]

whats up man, welcome

how well are you using kino?

 

[omkara]

Dude, I hear ya about the b****es in seattle. I thought it was just me that noticed that. And maybe I'm crazy, but I think there's this thing where they put their hand in front of their face when you try to look at them as you walk past. I actually pretty much stopped looking at girls on the street anymore, especially in the u district area. I gotta move to cali, lol, where the mexican girls are.

The Bible is hidden away in the lower left hand corner of the page. Welcome to the forum.

 

[Masculinity]

I'm not shy but currently approaching random HBs is an issue, because in Seattle women will not make any eye contact with you and their ***** shields are always on full force.

Welcome to sosuave!

I haaate cold women; I feel your pain. I used to live in Massachusetts and it's the exact same thing; now that I'm in California, girl make eye contact, but I was in a LTR and now that I'm single after a 2.5 LTR, I'm having approach anxiety.

Successful getting a ton of first dates, and not making it past that point. Most of the women I go out with are 7-8's (hardly any 9-10s here). Very hard to initiate Kino on the first date. Most of my dates end up being 2.5-3 hours. Usually just drinks. I end up buying as it's my style - bad idea? It's been my philosophy in the past that if I invite, I pay for a drink. No dinners.

Never a problem with sexual advancement, but my immediate issue seems to be breaking past this first date. Any suggestions?

Great to be here, hope I learn from you folks and can contribute back at some point.

-B&R

I think your very first date place is messing you up. You sound pretty solid, but taking chicks to a bar shouldn't be your first encounter. Try something like getting a cup of tea, a walk by the beach, an arcade, kart-racing, something like that and then bring her over to your place for a movie for appointment #2.

Do you have your own place?

 

[5string]

Relax, relax, relax. It'll come back.

Before you leave Seattle, take a gal on the ferry over to Bainbridge Island. Stand on the upper deck under the heaters and escalate. Get a hot dog and a beer on the ship as well. Talk to her about going back to your place or something before you get back to the dock.

Worked for me.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

When speaking to girls, speak with passion, intensity and enthusiasm. Thats the 1-2-3 of approaching. And remember that 90% of communication is non-verbal. (Tone + body language (includes kino)

Go out, approach and have fun.

 

[PDubb75]

Hey there,

I am new to this board as well, and I am in the same position as you, man. I just got out of a 6 year relationship, which began immediately after a 1 year relationship. And I'm only 25. That takes me back to 17-18 years old, the last time I was "looking for chicks". In other words, I have no "game" experience at all.

Go read that Bible in the bottom left corner... gold mine. But the forum is great for some more specific scenarios.

Anyway, I agree that a bar isn't the best place for a first date. I personally feel the distractions of doing something more active not only relieves tension of needing to stare at each other for 2 hours in a dark bar, but it makes conversation flow so much better. It comes more natural if you bring something up that is sparked by something you see, or do with each other, as opposed to your conversation darting in all directions while you sit in a booth.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Hey burnandrun,
first I want to make sure that you know where the DJ Bible is, as it is a fantastic resource. There is a link at the bottom left corner of the page (and some other places on the site I believe), but here's the url so you can get to it instantly: http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/. I can also email you a handy pdf version of the Book of Pook if you'd like.

The thing about being an AFC is that there are psychological and behavioral concepts that effect the level of attraction between people. When you learn the concepts, you will be able to experiment with them and eventually learn how to work with them the right way, when success becomes imminent.

Now, when women don't make eye contact with you, I'm assuming that you haven't tried to make eye contact with every woman living in Seattle. So either you're having really bad luck, you're doing something wrong, or you haven't tried to make eye contact with enough women. Remember though, eye contact is just one piece of the puzzle.
Have you been trying to talk to these women too and still gotten their bytch shields? If you don't get eye contact, you'll have to get their attention another way.