Rumors -- need advice / thoughts / opinion

[thorwynn]

It's been a long time since I posted here in the forums. Fixed a lot of things in my life, got myself a car, my own place, turning 25 this year, working my way to get a good job at the end of my schooling in a couple of months. I think I've improved,learned and gained a lot, but then sometimes we do things the wrong way just like this one.
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I want to know your thoughts on how to manage/control/fix rumors spread by sh i tty women.

I got this problem with a chick who, I think, has got some issues with me and my buddies. I can't even remember anything for the last two years if I did something bad to her. No, I don't want her approval and sh i t, just want this fixed and (if possible) controlled.

I noticed that she had this annoying habit of talking behind people's backs so I tried to distance myself and keep watch of how I say things... We talk sometimes but it's annoying as hell since I think she's spreading rumors about me and my friends (my longtime buddy & wingman, and 3 other buddies who are our wingman's students) to the other women that we are interested with.

I'm currently in a good, stable relationship (currently my best one and by far the longest) but I kept spinning other plates secretly.

So recently, one of the good plates I had (with a really high interest level) got into a conversation with that sh i tty girl and then suddenly that plate's interest went down to 0...

That plate also trusted me a lot before.. She broke up with her BF back in May 2013, and another BF last November 2013 because of me and my suggestions... She was hoping that we get into a relationship when I get back to our country, but she insisted to find out if I'm in a relationship. I think I made the mistake here (basically I stopped lying), I told her that I am in one (which is true). But then she asked if I was planning to marry my current one, and I said I don't know yet but she is wife material, and we're doing good until now (my current one). So me and this plate still kept in touch and kept talking how things would go for the future. Fastforward to a week later, that conversation with the sh i tty girl happened and there's my surprise...

I know everybody likes their business in private (same as me), and nobody likes other people meddling in your business.

I just find this... annoying since things like these happened before (even a few years back) and was easily manageable when there's fewer people involved, but not as bad as the current situation, since it's spreading like wildfire on fb, indirectly mentioning me in comments/posts. If you know that hard gut feeling that you're the one being talked about, well that's how I feel. It's very bad PR for me since some of her friends are included in my plate collection and they see this kind of sh i t.

I don't want to keep the story long, but I can provide more in-detailed info if required.
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Here are some choices I have right now:

A. Delete the plate, the sh i tty girl and everyone of our mutual friends >> If I do this a lot of people would react, huge number of my social circle will know, more reaction, bad PR

B. Keep the plate, the sh i tty girl and everyone of our mutual friends as 'friends' but block them (all those people) on my wall >> If I do this they would still react ("oh he's hiding something, let's put some more oil to the fire so we can get his attention!") and still maintain bad PR/reputation

C. Keep ignoring like nothing happened >> If I do this-- continued bad PR, more disrespect from those people

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If you were in my position, what would you do?
Thoughts on how I could have done this better?
What is a good mindset to have/maintain in this kind of situation?

 

[user43770]

How do you know this chick? If it's not through work, I'd say cut her out ASAP. Any other kind of "bad PR" isn't going to matter in the big scheme of things. Some people are going to dislike you no matter what you do. Better to let them do it from a distance, IMO.

If it is through work, you're going to have to be more calculated.

 

[Albatross953]

I've had the same issue, and advice here was pretty uniform to leave them alone. Disengage, and don't make a big deal of it.
The way I see it, they are trying to establish control, status, boost themselves. Best thing to do is show them it can't work.

 

[thorwynn]

@Tyt'Eyez: I knew those women from my college. What you said is true, they won't matter in the big scheme of things. They are both far from me right now.

I sometimes wonder why these people spend so much time tryin' to bring people down when they got nothing to do in life. They thrive in gossiping about other people, talking behind our backs like they're the sh i t who's entitled to everything just because they look above average from other women.

That sh i tty chick I'm talking about just got herself a baby last month, she's 20, she's got no job, no plan to do whatsoever in life (she just wants to get a constant stream of money from her mom and brother)... last time I talked to her (2 months ago) she said she has no plans getting a job and ****, and she's going back to our country in May this year.

It's funny though, people show who they really are after a year...

So how to respond on fb?

 

[thorwynn]

@Albatross953: That's what I'm thinking... I think it's actually a good thing that I never reacted yet. I got bigger things going on in my life now and when you hear this kind of thing it's just kinda annoying to some extent

 

[Albatross953]

Good catch all to Facebook shots

"Love you too hun"

Or ignore..

 

[speed dawg]

What's hilarious to me, is that you value your social status and circle so highly. If they aren't affecting your work, passions or hobbies, who gives a f*ck. If these plates ask about things, change the subject to something funny. Don't even have the conversation.

 

[ArmyBoyATC]

I'd ignore all of it. If you fight back then you're making yourself look guilty and if you cut them all out then you make yourself look guilty. I'd pretend like its not happening and smile and laugh at her when I saw her.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Thorwynne,
The more you discuss,the guiltier you will look...As old Will said "Methinks he doth deny too much"!