"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Rewarding bad behavior?

justjosh47

Don Juan
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So I have been seeing this girl for a while , last year she was in England for a semester so we never got to date as much as I would have liked but I kept writing her , sending her letters and doing what ever it would take for her remember I giv
e a sh... about her . Well for the first few weeks of school it has been great between us until last week , she came down with the flue and she was an extreme bitc* to me for a while or at least was not reacting the way she had been . I think she was testing me , well we got in our first fight the other day over her flaking on me .... I told that I want tolerate childish behavior . everything seems to be going great the past few days after that though and today is her birthday , I was thinking about buying her flowers and giving her a card because I know not many people will and Is till have it bad for this chick , am I out of my mind ?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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PhatE1vis

Don Juan
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It depends on why you're buying the flowers. Is it because you know she'll like them (DJ) or is it because you know no one else will and you're trying to buy her affection (AFC). Sounds like the latter to me.

I have no problem giving gifts when appropriate, but I always make sure it's something she's going to like. Flowers seem too run-of-the-mill cheesy romantic. Is there something she's interested in (hobby, food) that she would really like?
 

reset

Master Don Juan
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You're seeing her and it's her birthday. Show some class. I agree, make a gesture. Flowers, whatever. It's her BIRTHDAY.
 

SaucyBoy

Don Juan
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justjosh47 said:
So I have been seeing this girl for a while , last year she was in England for a semester so we never got to date as much as I would have liked but I kept writing her , sending her letters and doing what ever it would take for her remember I giv
e a sh... about her . Well for the first few weeks of school it has been great between us until last week , she came down with the flue and she was an extreme bitc* to me for a while or at least was not reacting the way she had been . I think she was testing me , well we got in our first fight the other day over her flaking on me .... I told that I want tolerate childish behavior . everything seems to be going great the past few days after that though and today is her birthday , I was thinking about buying her flowers and giving her a card because I know not many people will and Is till have it bad for this chick , am I out of my mind ?

Hopefully you meant that you "WON'T tolerate childish behavior" not "WANT tolerate..."

I have very limited info here so it's difficult to tell you anything. You clearly have feelings for her. Don't put on a dog and pony show with cards and flowers. Read the DJ bible. Something obvious here that you haven't. It's required reading.

All I can say is don't be a fool and play the puppy dog.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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