"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Repairing a leaking hole in a broken relationship...

F

Fitch

Master Don Juan
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I do not have a girlfriend, currently; however, my best friend does, and he is in some deep s.h.i.t.

I need some advice to pass down to him; or perhaps, is there anything I can do to help, as a friend?

Here is the story:

They are very serious about each other, but her boyfriend was an ******* at times. They broke up and got back together, due to my negotiating skills. But, at this stage, it's far from my control. The fate of their relationship lies in their hands - I think.

He promised her when they got back together that things will be like the "good old days" before he became a jerk. Apparently, things were different. She even acted different because she claims to have lost the same "feeling." However, the love is still there. I guess you can think of this as a candle in need of rekindling.

No, "NEXTing" her is not an opinion. What are some things that he can do to fix things up? What can he do to open her up again?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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R

Rocko

Senior Don Juan
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how can you be sure the love is still there, maybe its just time, i've seen long term relationships go sour over the years. People spend so much time with each other that sadly they get annoyed, dare i say pissed off, whenever they are with each other. He can try listening. Its very hard for people to just listen and take criticism, have her tell him what she really thinks and wants out of the relationship, and if they can't meet each others needs or can't compromise on a neutral agreement, then they should split. I don't feel that it is your job to try and mediate the problem.
 
F

Fitch

Master Don Juan
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It is not my job? What are friends for? To help one another out when the situation calls for it. He's in a depressed state; I'm trying to help him overcome it. But, firstly, I would like a second opinion in the matter - is it salvageable? I have zero experience when it comes to rekindling relationships. I don't look back.
 
R

Rocko

Senior Don Juan
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True, you guys are friends, but he will bounce back, people always go back to a happy state (unless they are experiencing depression). Friends should help out friends, but some things are just out of your control, you are not a part of the relationship, and by trying to make it better, you may end up making it worse, then again, you said it yourself, you have good negotiating skills, so I'm not quite sure what to say, sorry
 
F

Fitch

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Rocko said:
True, you guys are friends, but he will bounce back, people always go back to a happy state (unless they are experiencing depression). Friends should help out friends, but some things are just out of your control, you are not a part of the relationship, and by trying to make it better, you may end up making it worse, then again, you said it yourself, you have good negotiating skills, so I'm not quite sure what to say, sorry
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It's worked out. :) The leak is being fixed as we speak. By the end of next week things should be back to normal between the two; he's already noticeably happy. This experience really changed him; he's more appreciative of things. He's even more respectful - less of an ******* - with girls. He's never a push-over, so that's not a concern.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Z

Zerotwoonenine

Senior Don Juan
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London
how do u know that love is still there man, you are not even him!! he is probably one of those guys who only have one girl and cannot afford to lose her. Tell him to get to know more ppl, mainly Gs, that way he can NEXT her, its the only opion, seems to me that their relationship have been long dead, so whats the point to trying to relight a damp splint.
 
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