"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Relationship advice

tbstimber12

Don Juan
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Dec 11, 2004
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Hey guys I'm just wondering if I can get some advice here. Here's the story: I've been with this girl for four months and it has been great. She's pretty much let me do my own thing, and I've let her do hers and we just go very well together. We enjoy being together, and I can't think of a better relationship I've been in. Anyways I'm 23 and just graduated from college and so did she. Her family lives far away, and we're about to make a big decision within the next week about where our relationship can go from here. I definitely don't want to do the long distance thing, but we're both looking at different career moves which has a high possibility of separating us. Lately I've tried not to think about it too much, but it does have me worried to a degree. I know I can be single and enjoy it again, but I don't wanna throw away a relationship that has been so awesome.

What should I do?

thanks
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Effington

Master Don Juan
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Jul 26, 2007
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Hate to break it to you, but that sounds like something that random internet message boards can't decide for you. Choosing career over relationship (or vice versa) is often a tough decision, and sounds like you should talk to the girl and see what she says.
 

tbstimber12

Don Juan
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Trust me this isn't my first or only option. I'm preparing for the worst and hoping for the best, but it is a scary position to be in. A little extra advice never hurt...
 

Max Power

Senior Don Juan
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May 29, 2007
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Even though you're 23 and done school you are still very young and should put your own life ahead of a woman. Looking back, I would have regretted it very much had I settled with my gf when I was your age. Just something to think about.
 
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