Hey guys I wanted to make this post because it's something that effected my night last night. I think one of (if not THE) biggest problem with guys in this community is that a lot of newbies come on here and read all of this material, digest it, and then when they go out what do they do? They don't apply any of it because of approach anxiety.
Now I'm clearly not the first person who has mentioned this, in fact I've seen several people mention this. But that's not the point of this post. I wanted to point out an observation that I made a while back that will hopefully motivate some of you to go out and start handling this (if even one guy goes out and gets a number tonight because of this I'll be happy).
Now I'm still a pretty young guy, 23, and I'm not a DJ yet but I can see that I've improved dramatically in less than 6 months, and I've been through all of the stages of AFCism. What has improved my game drastically however is the true realization that getting turned down by an HB (even in the harshest ways) is incredibly better than just not getting the nerve to go up to her in the first place.
Let me ask you a question. When I look back on my life so far, do you think that I kick myself for the times I got rejected or the times I got nervous, spent like half an hour sweating about going up to the girl, and then wussed out in the end?
The fact of the matter is even the worst rejections I've gotten (and if you start approaching heavily you'll realize there aren't as many as you'd think/it isn't as bad) I look at and laugh about because in my mind it's turned into a funny story for me and some of my friends who I was around with. But failing to pull the trigger on that HB 9 you had a chance with (just an example) will haunt you until you get this part of your life handled.
This observation has had a very positive impact on my game at least, because even though I usually get no approach anxiety anymore, on the rare occassion that I do this motivates me to just shrug it off and go anyways. So what I suggest to you guys still dealing with approach anxiety is start to really internalize how bad you've felt about not approaching, realize how insignificant just going up and approaching really is in the grand scheme of things, and then go do it. And I gaurente you that the more success you start getting, even just pulling numbers, will gradually give you more confidence.
Finally the last thing I'm just going to say is I've also noticed that VERY FEW men out there actually go approaching at all! Whenever I go to a bar or a club, I RARELY see guys going out talking to chicks, they usually just walk around the club with their buddies, and the only chicks they talk to are girls they came with. They sit there and just wait for something to happen. Get proactive! If you REALLY want to get good at this stuff, eventually you need to stop reading and make it happen. Go for it you deserve it!
Now I'm clearly not the first person who has mentioned this, in fact I've seen several people mention this. But that's not the point of this post. I wanted to point out an observation that I made a while back that will hopefully motivate some of you to go out and start handling this (if even one guy goes out and gets a number tonight because of this I'll be happy).
Now I'm still a pretty young guy, 23, and I'm not a DJ yet but I can see that I've improved dramatically in less than 6 months, and I've been through all of the stages of AFCism. What has improved my game drastically however is the true realization that getting turned down by an HB (even in the harshest ways) is incredibly better than just not getting the nerve to go up to her in the first place.
Let me ask you a question. When I look back on my life so far, do you think that I kick myself for the times I got rejected or the times I got nervous, spent like half an hour sweating about going up to the girl, and then wussed out in the end?
The fact of the matter is even the worst rejections I've gotten (and if you start approaching heavily you'll realize there aren't as many as you'd think/it isn't as bad) I look at and laugh about because in my mind it's turned into a funny story for me and some of my friends who I was around with. But failing to pull the trigger on that HB 9 you had a chance with (just an example) will haunt you until you get this part of your life handled.
This observation has had a very positive impact on my game at least, because even though I usually get no approach anxiety anymore, on the rare occassion that I do this motivates me to just shrug it off and go anyways. So what I suggest to you guys still dealing with approach anxiety is start to really internalize how bad you've felt about not approaching, realize how insignificant just going up and approaching really is in the grand scheme of things, and then go do it. And I gaurente you that the more success you start getting, even just pulling numbers, will gradually give you more confidence.
Finally the last thing I'm just going to say is I've also noticed that VERY FEW men out there actually go approaching at all! Whenever I go to a bar or a club, I RARELY see guys going out talking to chicks, they usually just walk around the club with their buddies, and the only chicks they talk to are girls they came with. They sit there and just wait for something to happen. Get proactive! If you REALLY want to get good at this stuff, eventually you need to stop reading and make it happen. Go for it you deserve it!