Recovering from a missed kiss close.

[DCC]

Second date with an HB9. I'm going for a more long term thing, but we hit it off absolutely great. I should let you know I'm not exactly a PUA, but I come here for advice. I'm actually entering ministry, so I'm definitely not going for a ONS

Got tons of IOIs throughout the night. It was our first 'date' date. We'd hung out through common social circles before, but never one on one.

Well, I am apparently completely oblivious to signs...and I sit here on a Friday night, analyzing my situation. She even took the time to 'freshen up' in my car by putting on lip gloss before we went in to the place we were going.

We had a great time, and then I drove her back to her car (we met downtown, went a couple places)....there was a nice 2-3 minutes of conversation, then it got awkward and I'm pretty sure it's because I didn't go for it.

Still a chance to recover?

 

[ARrocket]

Well no sh!t there's still a chance to recover. You're not gonna learn anything from posting about it though, all you'll get as far as advice goes is "man up and go for it." Which is, of course, exactly what you should do. ASAP.

So go do it. If you fail now, you'll never make the same mistake again

 

[rocket87]

Lol that sucks man, she practically begged you for it? Is there a specific reason why you didn't kiss her? (Like a thought process which gave you the excuse to not do it?)

She'll let you know if there's a chance to recover by responding to another date/call/offer/etc., the fact that you're on here asking is a really bad sign, though. Attractive women want powerful men. Confident men, that take lead and maintain frame.

This happened to me once when I was a teen, and I learned from it, and then I never let it happen again. So it does happen, it's normal, you'll learn through your mistakes. It's not a huge deal, though it may feel like it if she rejects you in the future.


P.S. No way in sh!t she's an HB9. Just saying. Might be another subliminal issue there with giving girls too much value off the bat/assigning them as potential LTR material early-on. Might want to work on that too.

 

[DCC]

Lol that sucks man, she practically begged you for it? Is there a specific reason why you didn't kiss her? (Like a thought process which gave you the excuse to not do it?)

She'll let you know if there's a chance to recover by responding to another date/call/offer/etc., the fact that you're on here asking is a really bad sign, though. Attractive women want powerful men. Confident men, that take lead and maintain frame.

This happened to me once when I was a teen, and I learned from it, and then I never let it happen again. So it does happen, it's normal, you'll learn through your mistakes. It's not a huge deal, though it may feel like it if she rejects you in the future.


P.S. No way in sh!t she's an HB9. Just saying. Might be another subliminal issue there with giving girls too much value off the bat/assigning them as potential LTR material early-on. Might want to work on that too.

My thought process? Deer in headlights mostly. I had a lot going through my mind all at once. Not only is she probably the most attractive woman I've dated in my life, she happens to be a good friend's sister in law (weird story). I think those thoughts were running through my head like a steamroller.

 

[rocket87]

My thought process? Deer in headlights mostly. I had a lot going through my mind all at once. Not only is she probably the most attractive woman I've dated in my life, she happens to be a good friend's sister in law (weird story). I think those thoughts were running through my head like a steamroller.

Well. If she really is that hawt, I hate to say it but the more you cater to the hawtness the more you're going to be like every other guy who comes off as Mr. nice, when she just wants to be reamed into the nearest couch with an inch or more of padding. It's just the truth.

It's sorta lame how it works. And definitely counter-intuitive. But it's the truth, and it's rough to learn. Building sexual tension here is key, it would've lead to an auto-kiss situation. (Think if you had been bantering back and forth, using that's what she saids and other sexual innuendos, kissing her would've been no big deal) but instead it felt like an obstacle.

The flake factor is WAYYYYYYY mitigated with her being a family friend, so I officially deem my opinion towards you having another chance for sure. That's like free cake dude. Yum. You'll get another chance for sure but you really gotta open up and get out of your comfort zone. You removing yourself from your own little lock & key will actually make her MORE comfortable (less comfortable for you = more comfortable for her).

Think of something that can involve bringing her back to your place afterwards. Set it up for tues or thurs this week, or whenever you think her schedule would allow - set it up to have her come out for drinks with you. And have her come by your house (with her car), then go together from there in your car (tell her this before/while planning the date). Just make it casual - "alright, swing by my place around 7:30 and we'll head out together.")

Hope that helps. Update us pls. And I'm sure others will post beneficial advice here before you go about setting anything up so keep an eye out.

 

[DCC]

At the very minimum, I'll see her tomorrow morning @ church, I can work on setting up plans. Also, she is helping us with a community service project Friday night...I can probably pick her up at her house to go meet everybody, leading to some one on one.

 

[Chickfight]

you didn't have the balls to do it the first time, what makes you think you'll have the balls to do it now?

 

[DCC]

you didn't have the balls to do it the first time, what makes you think you'll have the balls to do it now?

I know I have to suck up and do it. It's inevitable. Just sucks, before I was involved with the church, I could pick up a random I didn't care about with relative ease, but now that I'm looking for a LTR, my game is completely decimated.

 

[Chickfight]

I know I have to suck up and do it. It's inevitable. Just sucks, before I was involved with the church, I could pick up a random I didn't care about with relative ease, but now that I'm looking for a LTR, my game is completely decimated.

A big mistake a lot of people make is to act differently when they're looking for a LTR. You behave in the exact same way and in the beginning its all about fun. You never try to lead her towards a LTR in any case, the only difference is now you don't resist her trying to get you in a relationship as much. You still resist it a bit.

 

[UnsworthK]

You'll be alright if you keep your game tight. A first kiss is not your biggest priority right? Besides - I always find that the quicker things escalate, the quicker they end also. As long as she is still interested and is up for spending time with you, you've got another chance. But I wouldn't hang around for too long, they say strike while the iron is hot for a reason, y'know?

 

[DCC]

Update: Got LJBF'ed today.

Blow to my ego, but I picked my head up and am now on a mission. I need to improve my game so next time this doesn't happen.

Time to dig in, start reading the forums, and learning from the pros.

Of course, since I'm entering ministry, it's hard to apply ALL of the rules learned on here. Oh well, I think this girl was the catalyst that finally broke me of my ways. I felt like crap because a girl I went on 3 dates rejected me, and if that isn't AFC, I don't know what is.

 

[Some Call Me Tim]

B1tches..

>Gives you tons of IOIs
>Puts on lip gloss in your car
>Go out a number of times
>LJBF

Yeah bud you can afford to lose this one.

 

[UnsworthK]

>Gives you tons of IOIs
>Puts on lip gloss in your car
>Go out a number of times
>LJBF

Yeah bud you can afford to lose this one.

Yep. This guy has put it as it is. Get spinning some other plates, tell them your entering ministry or whatever, they'll be drooling if you play it right. In the meanwhile, If you still want a chance with this chick (I wouldn't suggest thinking too much about it, however) but if she has LJBF'd you, get her back with some Ganji games.

Be a great friend for a while, then just cut her off hardline no-contact style. She'll most probably be licking your arse within 2 weeks of no contact, if she was really into you, if not, what you got to lose?

 

[DCC]

Yep. This guy has put it as it is. Get spinning some other plates, tell them your entering ministry or whatever, they'll be drooling if you play it right. In the meanwhile, If you still want a chance with this chick (I wouldn't suggest thinking too much about it, however) but if she has LJBF'd you, get her back with some Ganji games.

Be a great friend for a while, then just cut her off hardline no-contact style. She'll most probably be licking your arse within 2 weeks of no contact, if she was really into you, if not, what you got to lose?

I don't have the time to play games with ljbf girl so I'm gonna move on asap. If she realizes her mistake after the fact then good on her. The game is hers to play. I'm moving on.

 

[shizz702]

Move on and cease contact with this one. Don't text, call, talk etc. to her a all, she ain't worth your time cause you ain't got time to be friends.

Don't mess around with kiss closes and what not, it is imperative you initiate touch quickly, read up on kino.

Remember, when a woman agrees to go on another date with you she WANTS to be with you so should ASSUME she likes you and wants that kiss. Whether you realize it or not she will be thinking WHY didn't he kiss me and resolve that either you are a wimp or that for some reason you don't like her.

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

its not the end of the world. try it again or kiss another girl instead

 

[DCC]

Move on and cease contact with this one. Don't text, call, talk etc. to her a all, she ain't worth your time cause you ain't got time to be friends.

Don't mess around with kiss closes and what not, it is imperative you initiate touch quickly, read up on kino.

Remember, when a woman agrees to go on another date with you she WANTS to be with you so should ASSUME she likes you and wants that kiss. Whether you realize it or not she will be thinking WHY didn't he kiss me and resolve that either you are a wimp or that for some reason you don't like her.

And I know that's EXACTLY why I got LJBF'ed. The date ended on a VERY awkward note because I wussed out. Oh well, I'm starting to spin other plates now, and whatever happens, happens.

 

[bigneil]

Unless she

a) touched you
b) made future plans
and
c) complimented you,

chances are you were dead in the water anyway. If she did all 3 of the above and you didn't kiss her, then it's your fault. This is according to Doc Love, who says you have to hit 3 of 4 (the 4th being she kisses you).

 

[shizz702]

And I know that's EXACTLY why I got LJBF'ed. The date ended on a VERY awkward note because I wussed out. Oh well, I'm starting to spin other plates now, and whatever happens, happens.

It's all good man, learn and earn from your mistakes. You know what you got to do now with these others plates. I commend you for being positive and manning up.

 

[jt4aa]

We are all afc's at heart. Which means that afc's rule the earth.

When you understand this, you will get laid.