Really need a little advice

[Beginner1]

I have been dating this girel for about a month and up until just today I thought she was great and almost perfect with a few exceptions (smokes cigarettes, and she goes out with her friends a decent amount, weekdays mainly)

I called her up yesterday and asked her to go out to dinner with me, she agreed and then later cancelled because she felt a little sick from going out the night before. She asked if we could do it the next day and I said sure no problem. She originally had plans to go out on Thursday with friends and I specifically asked her if she was going out on Thursday when she decided to change the date of dinner. She said no but, she called me today and said "I have bad news, would you be mad if I cancelled tonight? "I did not know what to say cause everything has been going good. I was in shock and I let her know that I was upset that we could not hang out. She kept saying she was sorry but, I have no idea whether to press the issue that she chose to drop me like a fly so she could go out with her coworkers or should I just brush it off?

My problem is, if I let it go as if it does not bother me too much it will lead to more stuff like this happening I think. But on the other hand if I press the issue, since we are very early in the relationship she may just say she doesn't need the stress of having to answer to someone. I have no F'ing idea what to do

 

[Beginner1]

Thanks Rogue warrior, I see if I can get back on track with converying the I don't care attitude.

 

[earthshyne]

While I agree with Rogue's assessment and his plan, I wouldn't characterize it as an "I don't care" attitude, because that's not actually the case. If you truly didn't care, then you wouldn't be asking advice about it, would you? And if you now try to play that, she'll probably see right through it because it's not characteristic of your past behaviour.

So don't confuse DJ-ism with "I don't care" because although they may appear similar to the outsider, in fact they're not similar at all.

 

[NewMan]

Letting her know you're upset was a mistake. You should have said "Okay, well when you're schedule clears up, give me a call." and use an 'I don't really care if you call me or not' tone. Then you quit calling her. Become unavailable. If she calls, let it go to voicemail. Then don't call her back right away. When you do you say "Sorry, I've just been really busy."

Agreed.

She probably is not that interested in you. If she was she would have either not cancelled or invited you out with her friends.



Since you already told her you were upset - don't over comprimise with a hard a## attitude.

Don't call her for a date - let her make the next move.

 

[Beginner1]

New man, you read my next move exactly, we actually made plans to hang out on Sunday and I have no intentions of calling her to hang out.She knows we made plans and she has already bailed once. If she is interested she will call me, if not the hell with her, next!

Thanks for advice

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by Beginner1
I have been dating this girel for about a month and up until just today I thought she was great and almost perfect with a few exceptions (smokes cigarettes, and she goes out with her friends a decent amount, weekdays mainly)Ior

Danger, danger, danger - party girl!!!!Avoid. avoid!!!!

Do not contact her - let her contact you!

 

[flexion_]

Yep... all good advise here... she needs to come to you now.

 

[Beginner1]

Puerto Rican Lover, I'm with you on this one, I believe she is a party girl and she has no F'ing idea what she wants, women's thoughts fluctuate more than the damn stock market, I am absolutely done pursuing this girl, I have had it.

Thanks again everyone for the advice