ragnarP
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2019
- Messages
- 17
- Reaction score
- 34
Note***
I am this post for myself, I’m writing it to articulate my own thoughts so I can come to grips with an idea. Knowing that I might have an audience somehow forces me to put more effort into this. If it helps you, good for you, if not, oh well. The reason why I have posted it in the tips section is that it helps me and maybe some of you may be going through the same issue but not realising it
I’ve been devouring literature famous in the “manosphere” or the “red pill” community and books recommended by certain YouTubers and famous successful people for the last 2 years. And I am a better man for it, it has changed my perspective almost completely. I’ve been working out (went from 140 pounds to 180 pounds of lean muscle), started to dress well, forced myself into situations that gave me anxiety or scared me in order to overcome these emotions, developed interests and hobbies and now, my opinion of my-self/self-worth has improved drastically.
People in my family and friends who get to see me once or maybe twice a year described me as a new man. And I am, my cousin referred to it as a “metamorphosis” because it’s not just my looks but my character that has changed.
All this has translated into results, I get more respect from people and they are a whole lot nicer to me, I went back to school and finished my degree off this summer, and of course, I had 100 times more success with women.
So what is the problem?
I started off on this journey because I craved validation from others but mostly from women. I did develop some real character but there is a huge part of me that still gets off on the validation from women. I mean my whole transformation happened because I wanted to be good enough for others, I didn’t do it for myself because I deserve better.
Am I really a Don Juan if the moment a girl glances one too many times, I feel better about myself and more worthy? If I feel a sense of relief if a girl that I have been talking to for less than 5 minutes likes me? Or if I’m only happy when I get to have sex?
Surely a real Don Juan doesn’t care if a girl likes him, he doesn’t spend time with girls so he feels good enough about himself but he does it for his own pleasure. Would he pride himself on the fact that he is good with women? Or would he take it for granted? Almost every girl I have approached, I did it because I saw it as a way to seek validation not because I was simply following my own desire. It's only when I sleep with the girl I feel complete and happy about myself. This shouldn't be so. I don’t want to ramble on so here is the main point;
I WENT FROM SEEKING VALIDATION TO BEING REALLY GOOD AT GETTING VALIDATION
But I still try to get it from others, and I am really tired of it, I don’t want to go to a party and compulsively observe how everybody is reacting to me and whatever they see me as being somehow better than them or if they approve of me. I want to be with women for my own pleasure and not think about this whole game stuff. When I girl teases me and I came up with a good comeback I don’t want to see it as me having a strong frame. I simply want it to be who I am. Maybe deep down I still don’t have a good sense of self-worth, I simply know how to APPEAR like a guy who does. So here is another point;
My goal was to APPEAR in a certain way rather than BE a certain way. Rather than not caring about what others think I got good at appearing like I didn’t care what others think.
My whole problem is that I feel that I am using some techniques and methods to manipulate social situations. Instead of being me and having a great time. I am not enjoying the company of women instead I am "gaming" them.
So the moral of the story is;
MAKE SURE THAT YOUR GOAL IS TO BECOME A BETTER YOU RATHER THAN HAVING A BETTER PERSONA
I am this post for myself, I’m writing it to articulate my own thoughts so I can come to grips with an idea. Knowing that I might have an audience somehow forces me to put more effort into this. If it helps you, good for you, if not, oh well. The reason why I have posted it in the tips section is that it helps me and maybe some of you may be going through the same issue but not realising it
I’ve been devouring literature famous in the “manosphere” or the “red pill” community and books recommended by certain YouTubers and famous successful people for the last 2 years. And I am a better man for it, it has changed my perspective almost completely. I’ve been working out (went from 140 pounds to 180 pounds of lean muscle), started to dress well, forced myself into situations that gave me anxiety or scared me in order to overcome these emotions, developed interests and hobbies and now, my opinion of my-self/self-worth has improved drastically.
People in my family and friends who get to see me once or maybe twice a year described me as a new man. And I am, my cousin referred to it as a “metamorphosis” because it’s not just my looks but my character that has changed.
All this has translated into results, I get more respect from people and they are a whole lot nicer to me, I went back to school and finished my degree off this summer, and of course, I had 100 times more success with women.
So what is the problem?
I started off on this journey because I craved validation from others but mostly from women. I did develop some real character but there is a huge part of me that still gets off on the validation from women. I mean my whole transformation happened because I wanted to be good enough for others, I didn’t do it for myself because I deserve better.
Am I really a Don Juan if the moment a girl glances one too many times, I feel better about myself and more worthy? If I feel a sense of relief if a girl that I have been talking to for less than 5 minutes likes me? Or if I’m only happy when I get to have sex?
Surely a real Don Juan doesn’t care if a girl likes him, he doesn’t spend time with girls so he feels good enough about himself but he does it for his own pleasure. Would he pride himself on the fact that he is good with women? Or would he take it for granted? Almost every girl I have approached, I did it because I saw it as a way to seek validation not because I was simply following my own desire. It's only when I sleep with the girl I feel complete and happy about myself. This shouldn't be so. I don’t want to ramble on so here is the main point;
I WENT FROM SEEKING VALIDATION TO BEING REALLY GOOD AT GETTING VALIDATION
But I still try to get it from others, and I am really tired of it, I don’t want to go to a party and compulsively observe how everybody is reacting to me and whatever they see me as being somehow better than them or if they approve of me. I want to be with women for my own pleasure and not think about this whole game stuff. When I girl teases me and I came up with a good comeback I don’t want to see it as me having a strong frame. I simply want it to be who I am. Maybe deep down I still don’t have a good sense of self-worth, I simply know how to APPEAR like a guy who does. So here is another point;
My goal was to APPEAR in a certain way rather than BE a certain way. Rather than not caring about what others think I got good at appearing like I didn’t care what others think.
My whole problem is that I feel that I am using some techniques and methods to manipulate social situations. Instead of being me and having a great time. I am not enjoying the company of women instead I am "gaming" them.
So the moral of the story is;
MAKE SURE THAT YOUR GOAL IS TO BECOME A BETTER YOU RATHER THAN HAVING A BETTER PERSONA
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