Desdinova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2004
- Messages
- 11,665
- Reaction score
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Blogs have been created to let AFCs barf their feelings all over the internet. Should have been called Blaaaaughs
This guy is a horror writer (www.apfuchs.com), but if he wants to write true horror, he should publish his Blaaaaugh. Here's one of his sickening love entries. Should sound familiar. Prepare to puke or laugh:
You know you really love someone when...
...it's nearly five years since you've kissed her, since you've held her hand, since you had her in your arms. You knew it was good-bye and, even then, you'd do anything--everything--to change it. We split not because we wanted to but because others didn't want us together. We were young, perhaps not as confident, willing to do anything that pleased our parents and God. But it was our parents we pleased in this case. A pastor in my church even suggested our parting. So, I guess, would that mean God? I doubt it. Man, I was so naive. When you're young, a grown-up's word is gospel. But, as we grow older, we also realize our parents weren't, and aren't, as smart as they thought or believed.
The days since her and I said good-bye have been long. There hasn't been a day gone by I haven't thought of her. I've tried to push her away from my heart, tried to choose to forget, burry my feelings, leave her in the past. But...I can't. I love her. And, no, it's not misplaced affection because I miss her and love has to be the answer for that; I genuinely do love her, with all my heart.
She often comes to me in my dreams, the dreams always pleasant and nothing that would disrespect her. Maybe that's because I would never do anything to disrespect her. Some might say, "Well, A.P. Fuchs, if you care about her so much, why don't you go after her?" And my answer would be I have gone after her. Except, not as I should have. I was young, messed up, not knowing what do to or how to do it because I never loved--I mean really loved--anyone before her. When I lost her, I lost everything. You might tell me to look at what I have now, how my books are doing well, how I'm semi-famous, how I seem to have it all together, how people seem to find me charming and like me. My answer is book sales and the recognition of a name doesn't matter to me. And, no, I don't have it all together and there are people who don't like me. But that doesn't matter. I love her, miss her, need her. I don't want to kid myself anymore.
Long ago I made peace with how I feel and that still rings true today. But I know it's all for naught as, due to years of misinformation, hearsay from those who hate me, rumors from those I thought were my friends--she thinks I'm a creep, some psychotic maniac who's obsessed with her. If only she knew the truth. I received a message from her in April of 2002 telling me never to contact her again and that she wanted to be alone. I've obeyed her despite how bad I've wanted to set the air straight between us. I obeyed her because I love her.
In June of 2001 I ran in to her at my coffee shop. She sat down at my table where I was working on my un-published novel, For the Cause. I tell you, when we spoke, it was as if nothing changed, as if we were still together. It's right between us. Perfect. We picked up right where we left off. Well, pretty much. It was just...we just clicked, there was a spark, pick your cliche. I guess I'm the only one who seems to see it that way.
I saw her again when Spider-man hit the theatres, in May of '02. She saw the film in the same theatre as me, sitting in the row in front of me with her boyfriend (whether they're still together, I have no idea...she could be married for all I know...and my heart aches at the thought but it also laughs with joy because, I'm presuming, she's happy). Man, it hurt because this was shortly after that harsh email and I so badly wanted just to apologize for anything I might have done to upset her.
Anyway, she's great. I wonder if she's reading this, right now, without my knowing. Maybe. If she is...I just want to attain some level of peace with her. As much I was would love to be with her, I'll gladly settle for a friendship or, less, just knowing things are fine between us and she doesn't hate me or think I'm crazy.
Someone reading this blog entry might think I am crazy, but I have to disagree. I'm in love and I'm okay with that. Love isn't something that can be turned off and on like some light switch. Either you love someone or you don't. And my angel, yeah, I love her.
If anyone has any thoughts, send them my way via the contact page at this site. Maybe someone out there knows what I mean. Maybe someone else is living alone with their angel far away.
I'm going to go edit A Red Dark Night now. I promised to get it to you guys in March.
Peace.
This guy is a horror writer (www.apfuchs.com), but if he wants to write true horror, he should publish his Blaaaaugh. Here's one of his sickening love entries. Should sound familiar. Prepare to puke or laugh:
You know you really love someone when...
...it's nearly five years since you've kissed her, since you've held her hand, since you had her in your arms. You knew it was good-bye and, even then, you'd do anything--everything--to change it. We split not because we wanted to but because others didn't want us together. We were young, perhaps not as confident, willing to do anything that pleased our parents and God. But it was our parents we pleased in this case. A pastor in my church even suggested our parting. So, I guess, would that mean God? I doubt it. Man, I was so naive. When you're young, a grown-up's word is gospel. But, as we grow older, we also realize our parents weren't, and aren't, as smart as they thought or believed.
The days since her and I said good-bye have been long. There hasn't been a day gone by I haven't thought of her. I've tried to push her away from my heart, tried to choose to forget, burry my feelings, leave her in the past. But...I can't. I love her. And, no, it's not misplaced affection because I miss her and love has to be the answer for that; I genuinely do love her, with all my heart.
She often comes to me in my dreams, the dreams always pleasant and nothing that would disrespect her. Maybe that's because I would never do anything to disrespect her. Some might say, "Well, A.P. Fuchs, if you care about her so much, why don't you go after her?" And my answer would be I have gone after her. Except, not as I should have. I was young, messed up, not knowing what do to or how to do it because I never loved--I mean really loved--anyone before her. When I lost her, I lost everything. You might tell me to look at what I have now, how my books are doing well, how I'm semi-famous, how I seem to have it all together, how people seem to find me charming and like me. My answer is book sales and the recognition of a name doesn't matter to me. And, no, I don't have it all together and there are people who don't like me. But that doesn't matter. I love her, miss her, need her. I don't want to kid myself anymore.
Long ago I made peace with how I feel and that still rings true today. But I know it's all for naught as, due to years of misinformation, hearsay from those who hate me, rumors from those I thought were my friends--she thinks I'm a creep, some psychotic maniac who's obsessed with her. If only she knew the truth. I received a message from her in April of 2002 telling me never to contact her again and that she wanted to be alone. I've obeyed her despite how bad I've wanted to set the air straight between us. I obeyed her because I love her.
In June of 2001 I ran in to her at my coffee shop. She sat down at my table where I was working on my un-published novel, For the Cause. I tell you, when we spoke, it was as if nothing changed, as if we were still together. It's right between us. Perfect. We picked up right where we left off. Well, pretty much. It was just...we just clicked, there was a spark, pick your cliche. I guess I'm the only one who seems to see it that way.
I saw her again when Spider-man hit the theatres, in May of '02. She saw the film in the same theatre as me, sitting in the row in front of me with her boyfriend (whether they're still together, I have no idea...she could be married for all I know...and my heart aches at the thought but it also laughs with joy because, I'm presuming, she's happy). Man, it hurt because this was shortly after that harsh email and I so badly wanted just to apologize for anything I might have done to upset her.
Anyway, she's great. I wonder if she's reading this, right now, without my knowing. Maybe. If she is...I just want to attain some level of peace with her. As much I was would love to be with her, I'll gladly settle for a friendship or, less, just knowing things are fine between us and she doesn't hate me or think I'm crazy.
Someone reading this blog entry might think I am crazy, but I have to disagree. I'm in love and I'm okay with that. Love isn't something that can be turned off and on like some light switch. Either you love someone or you don't. And my angel, yeah, I love her.
If anyone has any thoughts, send them my way via the contact page at this site. Maybe someone out there knows what I mean. Maybe someone else is living alone with their angel far away.
I'm going to go edit A Red Dark Night now. I promised to get it to you guys in March.
Peace.
