Ready to dump my GF and dont know how. What do I do??

[Nightwing]

Well, I feel it's time for me to get rid of my GF of 6 yrs. Just to give you some background on the situation, I'm 31 and she's 49, at first that didnt bother me, but now that I'm getting older, I'm realizing there cant be much of a future with this chick if I want to complete the things in my life that I want to do. I've made a post a few years ago about getting rid of her, but was too much of a pvssy to do it at the time, but now I feel that its really time. I just dont feel like there's really nothing that she can do for me anymore. Do you guys have any suggestions on how I should go about breaking up with her??

 

[drixsa]

honesty is always a good approach.

and there really is no good way to do it espically when she has (proabably) become so interwoven in your life.

id leave out the part about wanting kids, family, etc. becuase that would be twisting the knief a little.

BTW, do you live together?? if so you might want to start looking at the details of that...

 

[Chrispy]

You mentioned there isn't much more she can do you for you...were you refering to what many people say (on this site) that older women know what they want in a relationship and train us 'younger' pups how to deal with women?

 

[Falcon Eye]

Originally posted by Nightwing
Well, I feel it's time for me to get rid of my GF of 6 yrs. Just to give you some background on the situation, I'm 31 and she's 49, at first that didnt bother me, but now that I'm getting older, I'm realizing there cant be much of a future with this chick if I want to complete the things in my life that I want to do. I've made a post a few years ago about getting rid of her, but was too much of a pvssy to do it at the time, but now I feel that its really time. I just dont feel like there's really nothing that she can do for me anymore. Do you guys have any suggestions on how I should go about breaking up with her??

OK, I assume that you're not living with her, atleast you don't indicate that you're living with her. First of all, don't do this over the phone, don't do this via email, you've got to face her down and do the dead. Get straight to the heart of the matter, you have to come straight out and tell her that you no longer feel love for her and that you need to get out on your own for some time to explore the world and see what other relationship possibilities that may be there for you. Tell her that it's not fair to either her or to you to continue in a relationship that, due to your change of feelings, is doomed to failure. Don't worry about letting her down easy, it's better to put it out there and leave no door open for a possible reconciliation.

Once you're done with this, get the hell out of there as soon as possible and don't fall for the female crap that will most surely following; the questions, the tears, the guilt trip, get the job done and get the hell out. Cut all contact, take no emails, take no phone calls, and get her belongings out of your house. Make the move and make it decisively, it'll be better for both of you.

By the way, you may feel like crap now, but that soon will pass. Let there be no doubt that if this is what you want, you and her will be better off in the end. Don't hang around and let this fester. She's forty-nine, still young enough to find another life partner, she'll be fine, trust me. I guarantee that once you've move on you'll feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders and I'm quite certain that after a few months some other other guy will be plugging into this woman on a regular basis.

You gotta do what's right for you and you should do it as soon as possible. Let us know how it goes.

 

[prosemont]

Wow dude. Please don't tell me you've put off ending it with her because of your weakness. You now can see the errors of your ways I'm sure ... waiting only makes it ten times worse. See my thread in tips regarding my rules of disengagement. I think you'll like them as a guideline for future reference.

Concerning this woman, just know one thing: there ain't no easy way of doing this. It's probably not going to be pretty especially if it's going to come as somewhat of a "shock" to her; ie. if you've given her no warning signs or there otherwise aren't any issues in the relationship. Also know that it's not going to get any BETTER by waiting or putting it off. So, the best thing you can do for both of you is to do it ASAP. Also know, too, that women and all people are much tougher than you give them credit for or expect them to be. She'll be fine.

She also should be fine since you didn't start with her until she was, what, 43 and you were, what, 25? So, she's probably expected this day to come since you started dating. She won't be flabbergasted, believe me.

Lastly, do it with dignity for you both. Say to her "we have to talk. (She'll know what's coming next -- nothing good EVER has come after those words.) I've really been thinking about our relationship and feel like I'm not growing and this is not where I to be. I don't see a future here for us. I don't have any specific issues and can't give you a delineated list of things that are wrong. (Do not mention the age thing.) I just feel it in my gut and I have to trust my gut. I've been feeling this way for awhile and have decided it's time for us to go our separate ways."

Good luck Nightwing.

 

[Crotch Sniffer]

I know I am too young for this forum, but I had to put my 2 cents...

Fukk honesty. Take the cowards way out. Tell her you screwed some other dame and you respect her too much as a friend to lie to her, and its best that you just end it.

so simple..

Works for me. but then again I am a rotten bastard, and very immature.

 

[Nightwing]

Thanks guys for helping me with this one.


No Drisxa, Im not living with this chick.


But the reason that I've been putting this off for so long is like I said before, I've just been too much of a pvssy to do it. At this point in time, I've got a chick that I'm hooking up with to replace her (she's 25). But that's not the main reason why I'm dumping her. I just feel like it's over and a breakup is inevitable.


Thanks guys for all your input.

 

[Falcon Eye]

Originally posted by Nightwing
Thanks guys for helping me with this one.


No Drisxa, Im not living with this chick.


But the reason that I've been putting this off for so long is like I said before, I've just been too much of a pvssy to do it. At this point in time, I've got a chick that I'm hooking up with to replace her (she's 25). But that's not the main reason why I'm dumping her. I just feel like it's over and a breakup is inevitable.


Thanks guys for all your input.

Let us know how it plays out; I'm sure everyone would be interested in a summary after you make the break.

 

[caribguy]

I noticed that you have been around a long time on this forum,
So have I.
One thing I have learned on my many visits to this forum, is you have to be a Man.

As a man you should never be ashamed about the decisions you make, good or bad.

As a man you should not be afraid of doing what is right for you. (remember it's your life, you gotta live it not them).

As a man, if you notice that something is wrong or broken, fix it.

Now you go have to ask yourself " am I a Man or a Boy"

If you answered that your a Man, then you know what to do.

Act like one, do the right thing. If something in your life isn't working ..... fix it , don't be ashamed about your decision and for Gods sake, do what is right for you.


I agree with prosemont , do the deed with dignity for you both, and get out as soon as possible.


Good luck