"Blank Mind on Dates? She's Dropping Hints You Keep Missing"

The plates get cleared and the silence lands like a brick. You can feel her waiting. Your brain offers up your commute, your job, the weather — topics that have ended more second dates than bad breath.

Here's what most guys never learn: women hand out free conversational material all night long. Tiny clues about what they actually want to discuss. Catch them and you never run out of things to say — because she's telling you what to say next.

Rule 4 of the "22 Rules" trains your ear to catch every single one.

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Re-establishing contact

Dark Nimbus

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What's your take on girls who you break up with, they break up with you, or even if it's mutual, and they try to make contact with you again down the road?

I've had it happen before where like 6 months or more after I stopped talking to a girl she emailed me out of nowhere telling me that she knows we can't be a couple (she didn't meet my standards) but she wanted to be friends. I deleted the email and never heard from her again since.

The other day I got a msg from a girl (let's call her Jane) that I got off on bad terms with a couple months ago that only said "Dear Dark Nimbus from Jane"
I haven't talked with her in months and assumed I would never hear from again based on how it ended between us. The 4 word note seems rather cryptic in that it has a begginning and and end, but there's no message.

Maybe she misses our chats, dates, wants to see how I'm doing, wants to let me know how "great" she's doing, still feels things are un-resolved, can't get enough of being called a "wh0re" and a "puzzy", wants to fvck with my head by reminding me of herself, etc. I really don't know, but anyways, what are some of the most common reasons you guys found an old girl/fling of yours might want to contact you? and would you msg her or call her back or just ignore her?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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JohnJones

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Tragically, I think it is because they have pockets of absolutely blank time, where they are bored and/or depressed and so they start looking out to find someone or something that has substance, even if little meaning.
 

Trapspringer

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It could be simply the fact that despite your differences, they still think you are worthy of friendship. You can never have too many firends and I would think twice about burning my bridges. Maybe they needed time to let things blow over to contact you. Try not to be cynical. A lot of people don't hold grudges.
 
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I am in the same situation received an e-mail a month ago - I never responded - this girl is trouble with a capital T!

Girls have a hard time not having a dude and being alone on a Saturday night...makes them feel not wanted!!
 

Cremasta

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When an ex says she wants to be friends, I usually just say "Yeah, ok, no problem" and then I don't contact them again. If they want your friendship, then let them do the chasing and organising of any meetings with you.

My point is, don't pi ss them off if you don't have to, but don't focus your attention on them either. As trapspringer says, why burn bridges?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Dark Nimbus

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I'm leaning towards what JohnJones said, being that valentines is coming she probably doesn't have anyone right now and/or she's bored. I only knew her for like a month and slept with her just once, but we had a lot of fun together until some sh1t went down later that ended our STR. The thing is I could probably have her as an occassional fvck buddy, but I'm just not interested in putting in any effort just for some occassional sex.

I'm not the type of guy to keep female friends around either. She had her chance and I won't msg her back unless she gives me a good reason to do so. If that means I'm burning a bridge, then so be it. Not like I'm going to be sitting home alone on Valentines :cool:
 
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