Raising IL when on a break

[nw1512]

My gf and I have recently decided to spend some time apart, we've been together for almost 4 years.

She recently told me she's travelling with a friend for a couple of months in July

She has a low IL in me at the moment,

I would like to salvage the relationship if possible.

any ideas in raising her IL other than

Not calling
Keeping talk short and small

Dating other people?

Can dating other people backfire
(i suppose if it does you have met somone new)

Iv'e got to see her on saturday at a children birthday party any sure fire ways to act.

Anyone share some experience

Thanks

 

[nan3109]

my g/f is like that right now...

NEXT!!!!

in your case at least but im working on mine slowly because its a long distance relationship too

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Ok, here we go.....

Ask yourself this.

Why do you want to salvage this relationship?

Really? You're what, 23? you've spent all of your young adult years with 1 girl. She is not the one. Get that out of your head, and move on. That whole acting aloof and being unpredictable won't work with her. She knows you way too well. Anything outside of what you usually do will be seen as an act of desperation on your part. You can't get her back with DJ techniques that are used to snag a total stranger.


MOVE ON

There are many fish in the sea, and though it may not seem like it, atm, it's true.

The Bad Ass Canadian

 

[GaryNas]

You want to salvage the relationship right now, but that will pass. Find a rebound girl, give it to her, next her, then get on with your life.

BELIEVE me, 2 years from now you'll be very happy that you never got back with her.

 

[nw1512]

Thanks guys

It's always harder to think straight in these situations after 4 years together.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by The Bad Ass Canadian
Ok, here we go.....

Ask yourself this.

Why do you want to salvage this relationship?

Really? You're what, 23? you've spent all of your young adult years with 1 girl. She is not the one. Get that out of your head, and move on. That whole acting aloof and being unpredictable won't work with her. She knows you way too well. Anything outside of what you usually do will be seen as an act of desperation on your part. You can't get her back with DJ techniques that are used to snag a total stranger.


MOVE ON

There are many fish in the sea, and though it may not seem like it, atm, it's true.

The Bad Ass Canadian

This info is VERY true. The best way to get her back is to NOT want her at all. You have to HONESTLY get over her. If you just TRY to do this, she will know what you are trying to do. If you HONESTLY DO get over her, she MIGHT want you back. It is really a loose loose situation.

 

[squirrels]

Travelling with a friend? He-friend or she-friend?

Salvage work is grueling and thankless and often all you end up with is a heap of junk. Tell me, is the reward REALLY worth it?

 

[DJ_Dork]

Solution: Date other girls, pretend she doesn't exist. If she calls to "talk" just talk but keep it short.. I mean she's not your GF/potential anymore so why give her airtime? Most likely she'll be dating other guys too.. whatever.

 

[number255]

Originally posted by nw1512
My gf and I have recently decided to spend some time apart, we've been together for almost 4 years. She recently told me she's travelling with a friend for a couple of months in July

If she is traveling with male friend, what do you think is going to happen in two months? If she is traveling with female friend, what do you think is going to happen in two months?

I have been obsessing over my ex, but that time didn't go to waste. I learned to read between the lines much better. Women never tell the whole truth if it can hurt them in any way. If she decided to have a break from you, it most likely means forever, babe!

You seem to be as vulnerable with her that I was with my ex. Cut down your losses early. Don't keep on hitting your head on the wall. She is not coming back. And even if she would be, this is your chance to enjoy the life as a single!

 

[fezz]

the best thing to do is to definitely just get over her and to not try to find ways to get her back. She does know you too well. I would find a girl that has a high IL and start dating her. Just forget about your last gf. If she sees that you have moved on, she might want you back, or if her IL was really low, there is not much of a chance of getttin back. I know it is hard to after what, 4 years of datin her?? Thats a long time dude. You just gotta move on, no matter how hard it is.

 

[nw1512]

Yep you guys are right, With of all the breakups ive had with women as soon as the ex finds out in seeing some else their back onto me straight away. Ive never has a breakup where this hasent happened.