Questions On How To Play An Exgirlfriend....

[PWJUGGERNAUT]

I was fortunate enough to run across this website and I have learned so much on HOW NOT TO BE AN AFC----THANK YOU EVERYONE! Heres the deal. I had a LTR for four years with a complete idiot who screwed me over in more ways than I can count because I was a AFC. I was the AFC asking for a chance with her again and telling her how much I loved her ----You know all the mistakes a AFC makes.
Well, it hasnt been a month and I decided no contact was the best and all of a sudden I start getting text messages like " And I love You" and the one I got last night was a foward of one sent 3 months ago (before I found this website) sataing " I know your hurt and mad, blah blah blah" but telling her from me that I understood why she feels the way she does and it was my fault. (Keep in mind she has been dating other people and so have I) The was a major AFC time in my life. I am getting out of this period of my life with everyones help. Thank You!

Im not going to lie and say it doesnt make me feel good that this is happening in this manner. I want to keep it going but not go back to being an AFC until I DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH HER.

My question, I havent responded to any text messages. I ENJOY HAVE THE POWER THAT I LOSTTO HER. I do love her but refuse to go back to being an AFC...How should I proceed from here? Or should I even bother? Should I repond at all to her text messages or just turn my phone off?

Paul

 

[WC2]

If you're deciding to make the transition from AFC to DJ (which I'm not all too convinced just yet), then you're going to be getting plenty of phone calls and text messages from exs, one night stands, or just plain strangers. The best thing to do is keep your interests in line.

If the particular girl aligns with your interests on that particular day, then fine go with it. If she's just an inconveinence, then why inconveinence yourself?

 

[Tomatoes]

Your post is quite badly written. I am having trouble trying to work out who said what....

Can you just write what she said in her text and then i can help with a reply...


Basically you have to demonstrate higher value.


Sarge On!

 

[Hitman10000]

If you're deciding to make the transition from AFC to DJ (which I'm not all too convinced just yet)

I concur.

Pwjuggernaut, I think reassessing what's most important in your life is best for now, rather than chasing girls.

 

[PWJUGGERNAUT]

Long story put short....The changes I have already made with no contact and dating other people have gotten her attention. I will NEVER go back to being MR NICE GUY again. I do love her but really dont know how to respond to her text messages like " And I still love you" or the text I sent her 1 month ago that she sent back to me last night Here it is----- " You Nailed It (she wrote that) I know your angry and hurt like I am. Look past it. I think your scared Im telling you the truth"

The truth was referring to some argument we were having about some chick who liked me but I didnt give a crap about. She thought because I worked with her that I was banging her. Obviously I tried to re-assure her and tell her she was the only one and pamper her with flowers and bull**** like that even though nothing EVER happened. Well you can see where it got me....

Since being here on this site I have learned more about how not to be AFC and be a man. Its a slow process and I dont deny that. The power that I lost to her I am getting back now which is evident by the text messages.

I know that I have to make a choice but I cant say it doesnt make me smile when she comes crawling back. How would you respond to her text messages if you were me. Or would you?

 

[blueguy]

" You Nailed It (she wrote that) I know your angry and hurt like I am. Look past it. I think your scared Im telling you the truth"

A girl can only love a guy she respects. She can only respect you if you respect yourself. There aren't enough details here, but you have to ask yourself how much damage has been done, how another girl you could find relatively easily would treat you and if your ex is treating you the same way. If she is truely respecting you, you can reel her back in very slowly and skeptically. Be aware though of the precedent you are setting and how you will have to be on your toes after you reel her in with each sh!t test to reconfirm to her that you respect and have confidence in yourself. Any slip and the same thing can reoccur all over again. You have to be a changed man.

That text message is a sh!t test as well. How you react to it will determine your perceived confidence level. For instance, if you told her, "I love you too. I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she'd dump your ass again. If you gave her just a little tiny reward for treating you slightly better than before, she'd perceive your confidence to be higher. If you completely moved on, she'd perceive your confidence and value to be highest of all three. Make her work for you if you truely want her again.

 

[Faded Image]

After a woman dumps you and you begin to move on with your life, she feels unwanted, undesireable, and jealous of any other woman who feels wanted and desired by you. She's doing what's natural to make those feelings go away: she's pursuing you! Once she gets you back and her emotions calm down, she may lose interest again because it's no longer bothering her. You try moving on again and her feelings come back! She again reacts to them, and the cycle continues. This is why men get thrown into the "Friend Zone" after a breakup - because she can't handle the emotional shaking of completely cutting ties.

The "Friend Zone" is a neutral area where she still has control over you and how you affect her emotions without actually being in a relationship. If you start straying, she can c0ckblock you or show you a bit of sexuality to make you think you still have a chance. When you're stuck in this neutral zone, she can have her cake and eat it by screwing any guy she likes while keeping you from disrupting her emotional equalibrium

This should answer the "WHY" for you.

 

[flexion_]

I had a LTR for four years with a complete idiot who screwed me over in more ways than I can count because I was an AFC.

How should I proceed from here? Or should I even bother? Should I repond at all to her text messages or just turn my phone off?

Umm... you are free from the "complete idiot who screwed me over in more ways than i can count." And you want it back? This girl dated you for a long time because you are/were an AFC. Thats what she was looking for - someone to dominate. How in the world do you think she is going to want to date the new you?

You should proceed by turning your phone off and find a better woman.

 

[PWJUGGERNAUT]

Thanks guys for all the advice!

Paul