Question about beauty standards

[Elfynne]

Originally posted by Ever onward
Elfynne,

Most guys standards aren't that high. If a girl is not overly ugly or over weight, chances are she can have her pick up 70 % of guys. Hey take this board for example, no one has any idea what you look like, yet you have become one of the most popular posters on this board. I would like to say it's because of your intelligent view points but chances are it's because you're a female.

From you're posts I gather you are fairly young and maybe that is why you haven't been approached too much. But the sad fact is most guys don't have the balls to approach women in any kind of direct way. That is why many of us are on this board so much, we are all procrastinating by educating ourselves instead of taking action.

I'm glad you joined this board, you're posts are always mature and insightful.

Thank you, Ever Onward. Yes, I am fairly young, but I am an oddity since I have far less romantic and sexual experience than most other women my age. I seem to be something of a paradox because people say I'm attractive, but I am shy and modest, especially around men whom I am attracted to. And they are probably shy around me too...and now I think it has something to do with my attitude and demeanor. In fact, people in general seem afraid to approach me because I give off unfriendly vibes without meaning to do so.

Guys should not be so afraid to approach women. We are just as human as you are, and we get nervous, too. Even if a woman is an HB10 or whatever you call it, she is still a human being and just as flawed as anyone else (sometimes more so). And any woman who pretends to be some kind of queen is only fooling herself.

Honestly, even if a woman was drop-dead gorgeous, could you really want to be with her if she was some high-nosed ***** who treated others like trash? I didn't think so. Even the hottest woman around can become ugly really quick with an attitude like that. But a woman who is beautiful AND kind is hard to resist. And there are more of them out there than you think. I have seen some women who were knockouts, and I thought "Wow, look how pretty she is. I bet she thinks she's something special." But then when I actually spoke to these women, they were so sweet and down-to-earth that they instantly won me over. People can be surprising sometimes, and not at all what you expect.

You want to know something rather strange? I've actually heard it said, from several sources, that a lot of above-average looking people are even less confident than people who are normal-looking. I can't be sure, but I think it's because they have been told all their lives how good they look and so they feel even more compelled to keep up their attractive appearance. So if something goes wrong...like if they gain weight, for example...they feel like failures because it's as if their looks are a major part of who they are.

Anyway, sorry if that was a little long. But my point is, if you see a good-looking woman, don't be so afraid to approach her. In fact, you just might make her day.

 

[Ever onward]

I'm sure most women like to be approached. In some cases it probably brightens their day and for some girls it boosts their ego. But on the other hand I'm certain many girls get tired of being constantly approached by guys and won't even give us a chance. Anyways, the point is it is up to us guys to take the initiative and approach where we put our egos on the line by possible rejection, thus the fear.

Getting back to the subject of beauty....it really is in the eye of the beholder. I've seen lots of good looking women with below average guys and I've asked them how so and so attracted them. They usually say "are you kidding, he is hot". As for me, one of my ex gfs wasn't attractive by super model standards but wow I sure thought she was hot. She was beutiful to me.

How old are you? Just tell me you aren't a teenager!

 

[Dirtheart]

Honestly, even if a woman was drop-dead gorgeous, could you really want to be with her if she was some high-nosed ***** who treated others like trash?

Unfortunately yes. I kind of get an ego kick from dating b1tches, because they make me feel like I have earned their attention and have something about me that other guys (the one's she trashes) don't have.

I know it's wrong and I'll inevitably get hurt, but these women have a lot of psychological appeal to me, perhaps in the same way jerks are more appealing than nice guys.

In fact I remember posting a thread trying to describe it:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?threadid=53440

Maybe I'm just a sucker for punishment.

 

[Elfynne]

Originally posted by Ever onward
I'm sure most women like to be approached. In some cases it probably brightens their day and for some girls it boosts their ego. But on the other hand I'm certain many girls get tired of being constantly approached by guys and won't even give us a chance. Anyways, the point is it is up to us guys to take the initiative and approach where we put our egos on the line by possible rejection, thus the fear.

Getting back to the subject of beauty....it really is in the eye of the beholder. I've seen lots of good looking women with below average guys and I've asked them how so and so attracted them. They usually say "are you kidding, he is hot". As for me, one of my ex gfs wasn't attractive by super model standards but wow I sure thought she was hot. She was beutiful to me.

How old are you? Just tell me you aren't a teenager!

That's understandable. I sometimes think that men's egos are more fragile than those of women, because so much is expected of men, being the dominant gender in human society. Women have a lot less pressure put on them by societal standards, so it is usually expected for the man to take the initiative, to be "macho", and approach the woman first.

But if you approach a woman in a polite or friendly manner, and she blows you off in a mean or cold-hearted way, then that harpy isn't even worth it. Such an approach from a guy does not warrant such a nasty response, and it's because of women like that that men feel cynical about women in general. It's more understandable for a woman to respond harshly if a guy uses a cheesy or lewd pick-up line, but even then, the woman should be as civil as possible...considering that the poor doofus has already made a fool out of himself, it would be just plain cruel to trash him, especially in the company of others.

And you're right...beauty is subjective...especially considering the many types of beauty that exist - - -angelic, aristocratic, vampy - - and how these types of beauty appeal to different people.

No, I'm not a teenager, I'm actually 24...still young, but old enough to be able to have more life experience than I actually have.

 

[Elfynne]

Originally posted by Ever onward
I'm sure most women like to be approached. In some cases it probably brightens their day and for some girls it boosts their ego. But on the other hand I'm certain many girls get tired of being constantly approached by guys and won't even give us a chance. Anyways, the point is it is up to us guys to take the initiative and approach where we put our egos on the line by possible rejection, thus the fear.

Getting back to the subject of beauty....it really is in the eye of the beholder. I've seen lots of good looking women with below average guys and I've asked them how so and so attracted them. They usually say "are you kidding, he is hot". As for me, one of my ex gfs wasn't attractive by super model standards but wow I sure thought she was hot. She was beutiful to me.

How old are you? Just tell me you aren't a teenager!

That's understandable. I sometimes think that men's egos are more fragile than those of women, because so much is expected of men, being the dominant gender in human society. Women have a lot less pressure put on them by societal standards, so it is usually expected for the man to take the initiative, to be "macho", and approach the woman first.

But if you approach a woman in a polite or friendly manner, and she blows you off in a mean or cold-hearted way, then that harpy isn't even worth it. Such an approach from a guy does not warrant such a nasty response, and it's because of women like that that men feel cynical about women in general. It's more understandable for a woman to respond harshly if a guy uses a cheesy or lewd pick-up line, but even then, the woman should be as civil as possible...considering that the poor doofus has already made a fool out of himself, it would be just plain cruel to trash him, especially in the company of others.

And you're right...beauty is subjective...especially considering the many types of beauty that exist - - -angelic, aristocratic, vampy - - and how these types of beauty appeal to different people.

No, I'm not a teenager, I'm actually 24...still young, but old enough to be able to have more life experience than I actually have.

 

[gruby]

I assist on a number of photo shoots as well as do basic assigments for model agencies so i have access to models quite often. Yes they are all beauful and often when shooting on the streets with people passing by even the guys who seem to have chance wit the girl put their tail between the legs and are the bigest whimps. I suppose that's why so many of those girs are single. The truth is that despit their beauty hardly anyone of them turns me on.

What turns me on though:

--passion for something (whatever that is even as stupid as shoes or your pink nail polish anything). Most people don't have reall passion for anything.
--beautiful eyebrows (usually natural-looking) -- i quess it's something that women mostly toatly screw up and become less desirable by trying to be cute. cute isn't atractive. i want you to not care that you are hot (a girl who "doesn't care" doesn't overplockes her eyebrows)
--brunets (but i had my share of being really attracted by dirty blondes)
-- less then my haight (6') also in high hils.
--excentric/confident look

I would say society's atrraction to teh girls mentioned earlier comes from the fact that to make it that big they raelly have to have "balls" to be persistens and such (see my point about reall passion).