"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Pvssy, parties, and parents... one big question.

Yuma

Don Juan
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I've been working a girl on the side over myspace just for fun to see how it would go. Talked over email the past few days. Haven't gotten the number yet, but we've already decided to meet. It's supposed to be tomorrow, but my plans changed and now she's really wanting to reschedule for monday when she gets off work at 6.

She's a big coffee drinker, so we were gonna do that... but then she invites me to a party that's going on at seven, saying it'd be okay if we were late. I'm down for it...

But, here's the thing. Monday is the 31st. I leave about three hours away from where I am now on the 2nd of January, going back to school. I've done a lot of push/pull, gotten the conversations to be flirty and sexy, and we're about to meet. The only thing that stands in the way is this: my parents being weird about it.

What should I tell them to make them (my mother, really) not freak out.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Vice

Master Don Juan
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Post the messages you exchanged!

That way we can see your technique and such.

What is your age?
 

Yuma

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 7, 2007
Messages
107
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6
Location
North Carolina
Here's one set... after only talking for a couple days.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 11:03 PM


well, most guys i talk to say that their girl doesn't do it right. so when i tell them to tell their significant other what to do...turns out they don't know either! *sigh*

ah, the knowledge of our youth is ever expanding XD

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 1:59 AM


Hahah, you sound like that's a new thing for you, good oral.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 10:54 PM


lots of lube! lol

yeah...that seventh one is pretty hot. lol

and finally a guy knows how to give himself pleasure orally(and who happens to not be gay) hahaha

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 1:45 AM


If you gave a dry handjob, then yeah. I suppose it would, haha. But, of course, you have to use, like... spit. Or something. Otherwise, we're all doomed. *blink. blink.*

I like the seventh one. That's... nice, haha.

What I was gonna say is that the tongue and fingers have always worked nicely for me, in terms of stimulation. The tip of the tongue on most things seems to work pretty well as long as you don't press to hard. It's all about pressure.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 10:41 PM


yeah...the fishnet was a little odd to me...if i had a penis i would be afraid someone would chaft me! lol

hahaha...any perverted-ness you have i can take...oh! i rememeber the seventh one now! it was the doggie style position with a towel around the girl's hip so the guy can control her thrusts. mwahahahhaa!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 1:38 AM


That and the fishnet stocking handjob caught my attention, haha.

You know, I almost started to type what I thought about those... but, you can decided if you want my input or not. ">.O"

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 10:34 PM


lets see if i remember...there was one about a sex position involving an excercise ball XD there was directions about giving a hand job with a fishnet stocking on...whipped cream one was old news...oh! stimulating the **** with the tip of the penis until you both can't take it(that made me pull a O.O face). hot shower ******* was another old one...sex in a sleeping bag with the guy behind the girl...>.O gah! i can't remember the last one :(

yeah, CSI. twas interesting

HAHAHAHAHA...yeah.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 1:28 AM


7 new ways? God, this I have to hear.

Oh, cool. CSI type stuff? Forensics is fascinating to me.

And, oh, yeah: Jamie Lynn Spears is a ho.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 10:26 PM


eh...US had stuff on Jamie Lynn Spears getting pregnant, cosmo had some neat things...like seven new way to have fun in bed! lol and Time had an article about crime investigation. it was pretty cool.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 1:17 AM


Anything interesting in them? I'm sure Cosmo had several... adult things to keep anyone in tune.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 10:16 PM


i think i read US weekly, cosmopolitan, and Time magazine... i didn't finish Time :(

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 1:13 AM


Haha, well, at least you had time to relax.

What magazine?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 10:12 PM


eh...work went fine. wasn't busy, but it went by sloooooow. i sat down reading a magazine for an hour. lol

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 1:08 AM


I'll probably miss you, but I just wanted to see how your day went. :)

If you're on, send me a message. If not, talk to you tomorrow. Sleep well.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 2:26 PM


boof...im off to work. i will be back after midnight...im hoping i can leave a couple hours early. its usually dead at 10:30 *sigh*

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 28, 2007 5:17 PM


Aww, haha. Poor cashier. =/

I'm watching movies probably all night. I might review them, just so I can be productive about it, at least. *shrugs*

Every aspect of John Travolta frightens me. o.o

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 2:16 PM


hahaha...well, Travolta makes a pretty fiesty woman ;)

gah...i hate my uniform *pout*

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 28, 2007 5:14 PM


You said it. not me. :)

I love the fact that the mother is always played by a man. It's kind of like Peter Pan always being played by a woman... with the exception of Robin Williams.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 2:06 PM


its fantastic! i got it for christmas...even though i didn't ask for it *shrug* its very colorful and...well...GAY

lol

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 28, 2007 4:57 PM


Hahah, you and puns.

Sounds like a nice, laid back day. I haven't seen Hairspray yet. I take it it's good?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 1:41 PM


nm...listening to Leclaire violoin pieces before i get ready for work T_T

all i did all day is waych Hairspray...which was fine until i beat out (hahaha...another pun).

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 28, 2007 4:38 PM


You poor bored girl.

What's up?

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 1:28 PM


1. How old will you be in 8 months?
well over 19

2. Do you think you'll be married by then?
**** no

3. Was yesterday better than today?
nope

4. Whats your last text message say?
"i see you wore the necklace in those....stunning pictures" *blush* ^_^

5. Who was the last person to text you?
*blush* no one

6. Do you prefer to call or text?
eh...neither. person is better

7. Do you have any pets?
a dog and a cat

8. What were you doing at 12 am last night?
i think i was online IMing people and listening to Bach....@_@

10. When is the last time you saw your mom?
yesterday

11. Have you kissed someone in the last 2 weeks?
yepyepyepyepyep

12. How many houses have you lived in?
six

13. How many city/towns have you lived in?
six!

14. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
bare feet!

15. Are you a social person?
yessssssss

16. What was the last thing you ate?
a croissant breakfast sandwich *puts on French mustache*

17. What is your favorite color?
hmm...black, pink, or purple? i like them all....especially together ^_^

18. What are you doing for your next birthday?
probably going out to eat with the family and then out all night with friends

19. What is your favorite TV show?
i have no idea O_O

20. What grade did you make in Algebra?
an A ^_^

21. Do you like coffee?
YESSSSSSSSS

22. Do you like someone right now?
maaaaaaaaybeeeeee ^_^

24. What are you listening to?
La Folia (composed by Corelli & performed by Emilie Autumn)

25. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
the middle is comfy thanks

26. Do you know how to play poker?
yep

27. What are you thinking about right now?
man...i hope it isn't too busy at work today

28. Any plans for next weekend?
im going to Elkin tomorrow for my step-dad's side of the family christmas get-together thingy....that's about it i guess

29. Do you have anything bothering you?
my sinuses T_T

30. Do you smile often?
^_^


31. When was the last time you cried?
today while watching Hairspray....it was a heart-felt moment! :p

32. Have you ever had a life-threatening injury?
hahaha....yeah

33. Have you ever been in an ambulance?
see above

34. Do you prefer an ocean or pool?
both are dandy and have their ups and downs....hahaha! PUN!!!

35. Why is your relationship status the way it is?
some men just don't know how to be faithful ^_^
and some rather put drugs before their loved ones

36. Do you know how to drive a manual shift?
nope

37. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
a tie between coffee or dance lessons XD

38. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
sometimes....

40. Who is the funniest person you know?
Sean ^_^

41. How often do you remember your dreams?
pretty often

42. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
the can can

43. Skim, 1%, 2%, or whole?
2%

44. What is the color of your bedroom walls?
pink

45. Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth?
yesssssss

46. Do you wish someone was with you right now?
kinda...i've been stuck home since christmas T_T

47. Are you mad about anything?
im stuck here! GRR

48. Do you talk to the person who posted this before you?
yesssss....both of them! lol

49. Where did you last sleep?
my room
 

Yuma

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 7, 2007
Messages
107
Reaction score
6
Location
North Carolina
Thisi s the second part... it comes after the

"knowledge of youth" comment...



RE: Hot shower *******, huh?
Body:
Aw, stuck? Why's that?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 29, 2007 9:24 PM


YAY! lol

well, i went to Elkin and came back here... i've been stuck here since then. *sigh*

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 30, 2007 12:17 AM


Sounds good. :) I'd love to party with you.

I'm not a driver, as it terrifies me to drive even in places I live, so I sympathize.

So, how was your day, hun?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 29, 2007 9:01 PM


hahaha...me? drive? *dies* im terrified to drive any place i don't know.

well, damn. i work 12-6pm on Monday...then i have a party to go to at seven. you can come with me if you want. she said we could invite anybody ^_^ or we can be a little late and have coffee before?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 11:49 PM


Well, it isn't. But, I'm not going to be in High Point tomorrow. If I go, it'll be Monday.

Although, if you'd care to make a small drive to Kernersville, I still want to meet you very much.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 29, 2007 3:25 PM


well...im free after four o' clock tomorrow T_T i hope that isn't too late...

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 3:34 AM


Night, hun. Sleep well. :)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 29, 2007 12:33 AM


well...im about to collapse XD

im off to bed. i'll ttyl...night night! ^_^

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 3:30 AM


I talk a lot. =/

hehe.

I'm never tired anymore and I don't know why. It's getting annoying.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 29, 2007 12:28 AM


yes...numberous times in fact. lol

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 3:23 AM


I like the new pics. *comments*

Very pretty. But, I think I've told you that, already.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 29, 2007 12:18 AM


hahaha...nice.

yay! new pics ^_^ i was very bored

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 3:14 AM


almost out of christmas candy. :(
been a while since I've drank.
almost out of christmas candy. :(

Cinniman apple pizza from Papa John's. so good.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 29, 2007 12:12 AM


chocolate, vodka, and chocolate!!!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 3:03 AM


I'm currently devouring the most delicious thing ever.

Three guesses. go.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 29, 2007 12:01 AM


aww...lol

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 2:55 AM


Very cool.


i'm excited, to tell you the truth.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 11:54 PM


Alrighty...i shall call when im free ^_^

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 2:47 AM


Afternoons are always better for me. I might be in High Point again anyway.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 11:45 PM


nope...i know i have to something in the morning though...but i doubt you'll want to get coffee in the morning. lol
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 2:37 AM


You don't work Sunday?


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 11:36 PM


well...i work Monday 12-6pm, Tuesday 3-7pm, and Thursday 4:30-8:30pm. ^_^

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 2:27 AM


You're kind of missing Christmas, by like... four days.

And, I leave on the second. Do you know your schedule or should we just forget it?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 11:23 PM


i'll try...i have to go to Elkin tomorrow for a Christmas get-together.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 2:16 AM


So, stay up.

You can keep me company. :)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Oracle of the Fae
Date: Dec 28, 2007 11:13 PM


im sure you do *wink*

*yawn* gah...i can't sleep, and yet...im sleepy! grr

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Scott
Date: Dec 29, 2007 2:07 AM


Having never given a guy head before, I honestly would not know, hahah. But, I have a good handle on things, I like to think, when it comes to pleasuring a woman.
 
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