Protect your heart

[ntdawg]

Learn from my mistake. Read the DJ bible... Everything that Pook says is right. Anti dump's machine is also right. You can not change a woman into liking you more. Pook is right, be a man but most importantly protect your heart!

My heart has just been ripped to shreds. I am writing this in hope that others will learn from my mistake and don't do it themselves. The golden rule to what I am about to write is DO NOT LIVE IN HOPE. As Anti dump suggests you are better off to NEXT them at the start.

To cut a long story short I was seeing a HB8 around new years eve. I worked in the same retail store as her and we hit it off immediatley from when she started working with me in October. By December we were sleeping with each other and in Janruary she LJBF'd me. She said that she thought that she was attracted to me but it turned out that she was attracted to me as a friend. What ever the Fvck that means? I thought that she would snap out of it as she loves my company and told me regularly. Because we worked in the same small shop I went along with the friends thing. We quickly became inseperable spending everyday together and becoming best friends.

That gentlemen was mistake number 1. I naively thought that becoming closer to her emotionaly would result in me becoming closer romantically. I could not have been more wrong. If a woman rejects you in any way romantically WALK AWAY. Do not lose your cool. Simply drop out off her life. She is not worhty of your attention.

By the end of Feb I found another job and at about the same time found this site. I soon released after a short time here that I was so AFC with this woman. I had her on a pedestal, I was too deep too soon with regard to a relationship. I let her LJBF get to me and destroy my confidence.. I spent alot of time anaylising her words and actions working out how in a round about way that they meant I love you but wasn't showing it just yet.

With the inspiration of sosuave I began changing my attitude towards her. Now that I wasn't working with her I limited my attention towards her. I began to become a challenge to her. She would e-mail, text or call about once per week. She would suggest that we should meet up for coffee or mention how much she misses me etc. This is where I made my big mistake and where I will quote the great Pook. "Judge a woman by her actions not by her words". This is so true.

I politely avoided her with her contacting me for about 6 weeks. Eventually I thought that her persitance must indicate interest. I asked her out for a date of dinner followed by seeing a live band. She accepted although she wasn't overly enthusiastic. I asked her out for Friday night next week.

To the present. I went out tonight (Friday night) with a mate and 2 HB's to a local club. As faite would have it I bumped into the mentioned woman and her friends at this club. There was some males in the group. When she saw me she was ecstatic. She was jumping up and down hugging me telling me how glad she was to see me and how much she missed me. I sat her down had a conversation and applied some Keno. She then said that she must tell me that she is dating one of the guys that was with her. She said that she isn't sleeping with him yet. I asked "are you attracted to him" she replied yes. This was the first dagger as one of her reasons for her LJBFing me was that she said she didn;t find me attractive. I admit that the alchol in my system didn't help and I lost my cool. I have met this guy before and he is not as good looking as me and is probably only half as DJ as me.(thats right he's a softy) He is a typically sensitive male. A woman in a mans body. Not very masculine at all.

When I lost it I told her that I couldn't beleive it. She then stuck the second dagger in. She said "You have to understand that I'll never be your girlfriend" Ouch. I told her that I wasn't interested in that but was interested in being friendly with the odd sleep over involved. She said that that wasn't possible but that she loves me and is so happy to see me and that she wants to be "just friends". I snapped again (not DJ I know but I was drunk) and told her that I don;t want her in my life. I told her that there is nothing "just" about me.

My blood boiled and I confronted the gay dude and ended up pushing him. His friend called the bouncer and 10 minutes later I was out of the club.

And here I am. The woman who I thouht I could love rejected me for a SNAG who is more AFC than me. Listen to Pook and follow Anti dumps machine. DO NOT LIVE IN HOPE.

The positive side to this is that it is because of her that I found this site. I was a typical AFC and am now an RAFC. In 6 months I will be a DJ and my DJ skills are constantly improving. At least I know that she is not for me and I know what I can do better next time. I will always be a challenge to women and I will always PROTECT MY HEART.

I have offically pressed the "NEXT" button and plan on putting as many women through my machine as possible.

Any advice or feedback would be appreciated. I do not want to see or hear from this woman again.

 

[girlsarecrazy]

Great Story, So true! I'm glad you realized what went wrong.

 

[gongxia649]

u realize she went with a AFC. that means being a afc is not bad.

 

[Potbelly]

gong no it doesn't. ntdawg, thanks for sharing that man...pretty crappy experience but i think everyone needs to have their hearts broken once in order to change completely. anyhow, good luck with the DJing.

 

[ntdawg]

There is a positive side to this.

Alltough I feel like crap there is a very positive side to my experience.

That is that this woman is resposible for me investing time to improve myself. This woman will have caused me to become a DJ.

I have no idea why she only wants to be friends and share as an intense emotional bond as possible while some other guy gets the pvussy and I don;'t care.

I now know that I am above her and that I pity her for making such a decision as I know that I am a great catch and she is the one missing out.

I do know that her patronizing choice has caused me to loose much respect for her and that I will no longer be her friend. I will no longer be a part of her life. I will be a man, forget about her, move on and approach as many woman as possible and put them throuh my version of Anti dumps machine.

One day I dream of becoming a MDJ and I will endeavour to help the younger generation and their life with women.

One foot after another I am improving. As they say there is plenty of fish in the sea.

thanks for your support guys. It;s comforting that I'm not alone.

 

[thissucks003]

Burned Bridges

Hey Ntdawg,

It seems to me that your relationship was always just friends, yet you wanted more. You more or less acted like a friend the whole time and she threw you in the friend category. Maybe she realized that you were not her type romantically. That's fine. Not everyone is going to be attracted to us all of the time. That is a reality. Big deal!

Here is where you messed up. You ruined a very good opportunity for her to help you with (her friends, her friends friends, acquaintances, or any other person in her circle of trust). When you let your emotions and alcohol get the best of you, you end up burning bridges that can help you score in other ways. I am not sure how big your town is, but she could possibly ruin other chances this day forward. You never know how much a vindictive a person can be by your actions toward them. It may not happen now, but it sure will later on.

Never burn bridges when that person can help you later on.

TS

 

[ntdawg]

Good point

I definately acted as friends for the majority of the time and can now see the error in my ways. I was not always in the friend zone.

She has told me that she liked me for some time before we hooked up. She often mentioned things about my appearance, looks pysique, personality traits and beleifs that she thought were attractive. She told me that she wanted me to be her boy friend in the beginning. She told me that we had a connection and that I was a top calibre guy. I don;t think it was a compatibility issue as she didn't give it long enough to find that out.

I don't know why we lost the spark. I think it may have been a lot of things. working as colleagues didn't help and me starting to act AFCish instead of my confident self probably didn't help the cause.

There is no doubt that me being drunk loosing my cool and letting my emotions take control of me is a set back to my DJ mentality. It must seem irrational but I have been thinking for weeks that she only has a place in my life if there is romantic interest. I find it a bit hurtful being just friends as I definatley want more. It is a bridge burnt but I live in a city of 4 million and I have plenty of other female friends to help me out.

I can not and will not be anyones bridesmaid and I find it much easier to move on when she is not around. The thought of another dude fvcking her makes my blood boil so the only thing to do is to cut all ties.