Problem with GF

[SweetSassyMalasy]

Basically I've been with this girl for about 4 months, the problem is that we talked on the phone so much with each other every day (3-4 hours) that now we have nothing to talk about. We only see each other on weekends, so during the week she calls and expects us to talk for at least an hour but I work all day everyday so there is not that much new happening in my life.
Is my relationship in trouble, is there a way to fix this? I would be fine just talking to my girl for 15 min on days when I don't see her you know. But she calls me like 3-5 times a day and its like "ok, we've just talked 3 hours ago, so wtf?"

 

[frivolousz21]

Balance...try to find a balance....

also try new things..if that doesnt work..then maybe your not compatible and close friends

 

[flexion_]

Yes your relationship is in trouble.

Get busy with other stuff in your life.

 

[SweetSassyMalasy]

Don't get me wrong I think my gf and I are good friends, its just that talking so much on the phone the past couple of months has really made used to the fact that its normal to talk 3 hours on the phone everyday, and that puts a lot of pressure on me cuz i don't have much else to talk about you know.

So, basically this is what you guys are saying:

1. Not to take all her calls.
2. Give her the impression that I am doing other ****.
3. What's a healthy amount of time I should talk to her on the days I don't get to see her? (I think 10-15 min right?)

Any other suggestions?

 

[frivolousz21]

1. Not to take all her calls.


No....uve been with her for 4 months..take her calls....unless you are busy. just make them shorter.




2. Give her the impression that I am doing other ****.

make sure you actually do other things.


3. What's a healthy amount of time I should talk to her on the days I don't get to see her? (I think 10-15 min right?)


no talk to her as much as you gys want..as much as you can that is healthy and keeps ur relationship going

 

[Bobbles]

When she calls and wants to chat for hours, just tell her "baby, save it for the date otherwise we will have nothing to talk about". Set up the date, and don't communicate until then.

 

[Yotuki]

Get a girlfriend who doesn't like talking on the phone so much... Works for me

But seriously, just don't talk so much on the phone! I wouldn't go from talking so much/often to all of a sudden dodging her calls though, as she'll probably think you're up to something. Take her calls, just start cutting them shorter. At a certain point in any relationship, you're going to know the other person's routines, and what they're up to, so for the most part you're probably not going to have a whole lot of NEW and EXCITING things to talk about, so what can you possibly be talking about every day (or even every other day) for 3-4 hours at a time? It sounds like she's talking to hear her mouth blab, and you're listening to keep her company.

Start cutting the conversations short. Talk until you feel like you've covered everything you want to talk about, then bail.

And not having a lot to talk about all the time isn't a sign of a bad relationship, or that there are problems coming, unless either of you actually feels like not talking all the time is a detriment. You should feel comfortable with silence, and just being around one another. But if she's wanting to hold high brow philosophical debates all the time, and you just want silence, then you'll probably have issues with one another.

 

[Ace of Flames]

ah, the faults of the phone rear their ugly heads. basically what everyone else said is what u should do. talk less, save it for later.

u dont have to see or talk to her EVERYDAY. that just gets boring. there's no time for her to miss u! talk to her about 2 or 3 times during the week, to set up whatever for the weekend, and if anything important happens. other than that, keep it to the bare essentials, and then let her go. im sure once this routine has settled in, your dates will be fun and interesting again.

what im a little concerned with is, does your gf have a life? i mean, if she has the time to call u everyday for 3-4 hours, is there nothing better for her to do? maybe she's kind of obsessed with u?? i'd encourage her to find something she can do without u. much like this site tells guys to have hobbies and such, tell her to find things to keep her busy. she doesnt hang out with her friends? she can call them for 3-4 hours a day....

give it a shot, tell us how things work out.