Probing whether she's OK with open relationships

[sch]

I slept with this girl twice, and for me it was apparent that it's ****buddy or some form of OLTR. She was not sure, so she decided to ask me about that in a very covert girly way. She asked me "Are you jealous? Would you forgive cheating? I’m just interested in your personality." I'm going to use that line regularly.

P.S. I was so impressed that this 21 yo girl is smarter than 33 yo dude who even read couple of books about building open relationships.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I slept with this girl twice, and for me it was apparent that it's ****buddy or some form of OLTR. She was not sure, so she decided to ask me about that in a very covert girly way. She asked me "Are you jealous? Would you forgive cheating? I’m just interested in your personality." I'm going to use that line regularly.

P.S. I was so impressed that this 21 yo girl is smarter than 33 yo dude who even read couple of books about building open relationships.

Instead of "open" relationships do no relationship. In an "open" one they many times won't commit to you even in a "friend" way so it's a false sense of security. Just be FWB and leave it at that.

 

[logicallefty]

All women are "open" to open relationships when the right guy comes along. Regardless of current commitments, when the right man comes along those legs will "open" right up.

 

[sch]

All women are "open" to open relationships when the right guy comes along. Regardless of current commitments, when the right man comes along those legs will "open" right up.

That's a very good point, OTH I want to check that she's getting my frame right. Maybe I'm just being nervous.

 

[devilkingx2]

just don't get jealous if she gets more action than you lol

 

[Serenity]

I slept with this girl twice, and for me it was apparent that it's ****buddy or some form of OLTR. She was not sure, so she decided to ask me about that in a very covert girly way. She asked me "Are you jealous? Would you forgive cheating? I’m just interested in your personality." I'm going to use that line regularly.

P.S. I was so impressed that this 21 yo girl is smarter than 33 yo dude who even read couple of books about building open relationships.

I'm curious about what you responded to those questions. Aiming for an open relationship I'd say "it's not cheating if it's agreed upon, also no reason for jealousy".

In a subtle way she basically asked "would you mind me fvcking other guys too?". I think she wants an open realtionship, but it can be somewhat taboo so she can't be direct about it. It could be turned back around to "not if you won't be jealous and would forgive cheating".

Disclaimer: I have no experience with open relationships, neither practical or theoretical (haven't read books about it).

 

[EyeBRollin]

All relationships start as open relationships. Just spin plates and practice stringing them along as long as possible.

 

[sch]

I'm curious about what you responded to those questions. Aiming for an open relationship I'd say "it's not cheating if it's agreed upon, also no reason for jealousy".

In a subtle way she basically asked "would you mind me fvcking other guys too?". I think she wants an open realtionship, but it can be somewhat taboo so she can't be direct about it. It could be turned back around to "not if you won't be jealous and would forgive cheating".

Disclaimer: I have no experience with open relationships, neither practical or theoretical (haven't read books about it).

In this particular situation it's obvious that there's nothing serious going on as she's living country in ~6 months. I answered her that "if there's no lying than there's no cheating." It feels that this girl has almost no sexual experience, and she claims that she haven't had sex for a year, because she didn't like dudes that were hitting on her. I think that she didn't want me to get feelings about her and becoming drama queen when she's gonna leave the country. I asked same question to her, and she told me that "she'll forgive cheating, but she doesn't want to see that", and I told her "OK, I will not show that to you" haha

It seems that being non exclusive is kinda natural for them and they are inclined to wait couple of months before getting exclusive. Just don't be jealous, be cool, and don't bring up the topic.

And add to the equation that I'm offering so much value: awesome sex, vast life experience [I'm much older and I've been through ****], knowledge, my passion for self-development. I can replace anyone of them, but they hardly can replace me.

 

[sch]

just don't get jealous if she gets more action than you lol

Yes, jealousness is induced by fear of not getting P while she's having some D.
At least that's the case for me.

Ultimately, it's a weakness.

 

[sch]

All relationships start as open relationships. Just spin plates and practice stringing them along as long as possible.

Yep, that's the plan.

 

[bigneil]

This is a ridiculous question for a man to ask.

OP is saying "I want to f*ck this girl but I just have so many other women who I'm f*cking that I need to announce it to the world".

It's also moot because any relationship is open until SHE asks the man for a commitment.

 

[Serenity]

In this particular situation it's obvious that there's nothing serious going on as she's living country in ~6 months. I answered her that "if there's no lying than there's no cheating." It feels that this girl has almost no sexual experience, and she claims that she haven't had sex for a year, because she didn't like dudes that were hitting on her. I think that she didn't want me to get feelings about her and becoming drama queen when she's gonna leave the country. I asked same question to her, and she told me that "she'll forgive cheating, but she doesn't want to see that", and I told her "OK, I will not show that to you" haha

It seems that being non exclusive is kinda natural for them and they are inclined to wait couple of months before getting exclusive. Just don't be jealous, be cool, and don't bring up the topic.

And add to the equation that I'm offering so much value: awesome sex, vast life experience [I'm much older and I've been through ****], knowledge, my passion for self-development. I can replace anyone of them, but they hardly can replace me.

I'd say you're taking it a bit far saying it's kinda natural for them, especially given her response. What she communicates is that she doesn't like it, but given the circumstances that she's gonna leave the country soon she doesn't care too much. A few women truly do accept it, but the rest is somewhere else on the spectrum ranging from feeling slightly uncomfortable about it to absolutely not tolerating it.

It's not so much an open relationship as it is fvckbuddy, to have conveniently available sex until she leaves. Of course that's a mutual convenience, nothing wrong about that but I don't see where the word relationship fits into this mix.

But yeah, she doesn't take this seriously much and as you say neither should you. It's all good for the next 6 months.

 

[sch]

I'd say you're taking it a bit far saying it's kinda natural for them, especially given her response

Agreed, I meant that they like waiting for couple of months before becoming exclusive