PRINCIPLES... not rules.

[MrSassyPants]

I've noticed a lot of guys on this site seem to be obsessed with "rules". I guess its safe and cozy to feel like there are certain things you can do that will lead to success. That's just not reality.

More important than knowing certain rules is knowing the principles behind them. One such poster wondered if it was okay to see a girl on weekends, because she lived out of town during the week.

A rule is meaningless if you don't know why it works. There's a reason for every rule (well, every good rule) If you know why you do something you'll know when the reason to do it doesn't exist.

Blindly memorizing rules isn't going to help at all. A DJ needs to know why those rules are there and the underlying principles involved.

Being a DJ involves understanding women and what makes them tick. A good DJ has common sense and can adjust his game accordingly. A "rule follower" will never get in the mind of a woman and will forever wonder why his "rules" don't seem to work.

 

[aphrodite]

It is also important to remember that both parties feel good about themselves and the interaction no matter where you want it to lead in the future. NO GAMES!!. Honesty and integrity at all times.

 

[Take No Dirt]

Originally posted by aphrodite:
It is also important to remember that both parties feel good about themselves and the interaction no matter where you want it to lead in the future. NO GAMES!!. Honesty and integrity at all times.

NO GAMES?? Right on! If females didn't play mind games with us dudes, we would all be happy!

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"It's not how what she feels about you that’s important, but whether you can make her feel really good about herself."

 

[Nine Breaker]

As I understand it, they have this saying floating around the military:

"No plan survives the battlefield."

What it means is that regardless of whatever rules and plans you take with you, you should ALWAYS be ready to improvise and make split-second decisions to help you win the day (and get the girl, in this case).

Knowing that something works is never as useful as knowing why something works. That was a very good post, MrSassyPants. Well Done!!

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The Human Body Is A Fragile Thing, But The Human Soul Can NEVER Be Truly Broken.

 

[Shiftkey]

Many of the "rules" promoted on this message board are just a starting point for beginning DJs. I've only gotten anywhere with a girl when I purposely break some of these rules.

[This message has been edited by Shiftkey (edited 01-16-2002).]

 

[Chicken-Hawk]

You use a proven system when you are new to given activity. You really don't know how things work so you use something that's produced results in the past. You can learn the exceptions as you go along.

Having said that, everything on this site is personal and situational in it's application. What will work for some will not work for others. What will work in one situation will not work in another. Half the fun (or agony) is learning how it all works for you.

 

[MysteryWoman]

If girls didn't play mind games, you guys would get bored. As long as it's done in moderation (occasionally), it helps ignite passionate feelings suchas infatuation. I play mind games, guys do to me. This creates a very intense sexual attraction between us. When a guy plays mind games with me, all he has to do is just walk in to the room and I'm already sexually aroused.

Mind games reads this message, just because I like you or am with you now, doesn't mean this will always be the case. The fear of not always being able to have that person or keep them makes you appreciate them more. Its when people get too comfortable with one another they take each other for granted, and the relationship ends up maundane.

 

[SoSuave.com]

Tips forum.

 

[Survivor]

Originally posted by MysteryWoman:
If girls didn't play mind games, you guys would get bored. As long as it's done in moderation (occasionally), it helps ignite passionate feelings suchas infatuation. I play mind games, guys do to me. This creates a very intense sexual attraction between us. When a guy plays mind games with me, all he has to do is just walk in to the room and I'm already sexually aroused.

Mind games reads this message, just because I like you or am with you now, doesn't mean this will always be the case. The fear of not always being able to have that person or keep them makes you appreciate them more. Its when people get too comfortable with one another they take each other for granted, and the relationship ends up maundane.

The human mind thrives on conflict. That's true for men and women in all facets of life.

But heres the problem. Men don't know what women already know instinctively. Many young men are very naive and take everything that people say and do at face value. They fail to recognize the psycho-social mind game that goes on in all facets of our society. Not just in dating, but in business, marketing, politics, etc. Everything's a mind game and a social network. Some guys, (techie nerds especially) fail to realize that.

The site is one place where young men can learn personal balance and develop the ability to communicate effectively with the outside world.

[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 01-18-2002).]