Pressuring ANYONE.

[HumbleNinja]

There's a lot of pressure in everyones lives and a lot of pressuring on So Suave itself. Dudes need to relax and be the fun relaxing good time for a chick especially a new one.

Realize that chicks have lives. Just as you should.

Try to think of yourself as a cool, calm relaxing good time she can be having with you instead of feeling pressured by you like you are some desperate PUA whack-a-doo.

People get pressured by:

Work

School

Parents

Relatives

Bill collectors, mail, credit cards

Sales people

Peers

Society in general.

With that buildup of constant pressure especially which happens in larger cities do you want to be seen as the pest who adds more pressure to a chicks life to meet, meet, meet as if you have no life of your own? Looking desperate? Possibly needy? A Stage 5 clinger? A horndog? And so on?


Now if you keep pressuring a chick to go out she's going to either:

1) Agree to shut you up then flake.

2) Simply stop responding or not respond.

3) Go and then get even more pressured by you and get turned off afterwards. (Even if you do bang her you may never get the chance again as you pressured her the first time then leave you wondering why she simply vanished afterwards.)

It's the same thing with friends etc. If you keep pressuring for a meet or date to hang out/ go out people start subconciously thinking that you may not be socially "aware" clueless, or you just don't give a damn that they may have a life and are too pushy (but they won't necessarily say it to start some possible drama). Even with dudes.

Things may come up in the persons life.

Now you want to meet or date etc some chick you can always hit them up and train yourself to NOT be that dude who's pestering them to go out. You ask once possibly a second time later on, but change the subject make quick small talk about stuff, and let it go.

Meet other chicks and do the same thing with them in the meantime.

If you are too pushy it's going to turn chicks off and they may not even say anything about it.

Think of a friend you know who you may like but is pushy. You may not say anything to them but you either don't answer at times because you're busy or you just don't want to be bothered. Same things with your own parents, work etc. It slowly builds up and may cause you to flake on others and prioritize things etc.

Same thing with some chick constantly blowing up your phone. You may like her, she may be cool, etc. but after a while it gets annoying as fvck and you yourself start to answer less or flake.

It's not always some chick is: "out banging the alpha boogeyman", riding the c0ck carosel, etc. IT could because YOU are too pressuring and she wants to meet or hang out with a dude who isn't going to add pressure to all the other pressure she's got going on in her life.

Sht there's pressure on SS. Pressure to "prove" yourself to random strangers on the net, pressure to post field reports, pressure to get laid and how many times or chicks you HAVE to lay, negative pressure when someone posts a chick flaked (she flaked! She's a kunt! A b1tch! Forget her! She's fvcking someone better!)
No. She may just have a life and with the pressure of sht you read on SS and internalize YOU may just be adding to the pressure the chick already faces and she won't tell you to avoid conflict. YOU may be the cause of chicks flaking due to PRESSURING them.

Be the cool fun dude who doesn't pressure chicks so more of them are more likely to see you as a good time that relieves their stress and when appropriate escalates for you both to possibly do some extra "stress relief".

Ask them out during a brief convo. Drop it and change the subject. Hit them up sometime before if plans are made just to say what's up? How's things? And see if plans are still on. Don't keep asking in every conversation you have.

You may just be surprised that things change around for you and more chicks hit YOU up to go out and it may just solve the problem of flakes for you.

 

[Don_Dom]

Or, as with so many things, spin plates!

Abundance takes the pressure off of you and you will genuinely be chilled out with your dates. And you don't even have to think about it.

Goes without saying you should be fun for your girls.

 

[teddy]

yeah, be fun, but remember to make your romantic intentions known, otherwise you'll be seen as the "cool, fun guy I can hang out with because I know he won't make any moves on me".

 

[HumbleNinja]

Or, as with so many things, spin plates!

Abundance takes the pressure off of you and you will genuinely be chilled out with your dates. And you don't even have to think about it.

Goes without saying you should be fun for your girls.

True you should meet and hot up new chicks but be socially aware. Not some clueless, desperate "alpha" who only thinks of himself as if no one has anything else going on in their lives.

She just might NOT be "riding the c0ck carosel" or out banging the "alpha boogeyman" she may just be taking a test in class, getting yelled at by her parents, at work etc.

Last thing anyone needs is someone up their azz. LET ALONE a dude she may want to actually meet and date in which you and her are supposed to have a good time, not slowly turned off till she drops off the face of the earth and stops responding while you sit there clueless thinking: "she's a b1tch! a slvt! a flake!" It may be because YOU were supposed to be the cool fun relaxing time she may've been looking foward to having and YOU turned her off by pressuring her.

Don't constantly pester chicks. Ask once and possibly twice later on. Hit them up. Make small talk. Ask them what's going on? Try to put yourself in their shoes at times if they vent. Not just ignore them and ask if you're going out again for a third time. (Especially if a chick is hot. She's got enough people riding up her azz. you can hit her up but don't overdo pressuring anyone or you're simply going to fvck yourself in the end.)

 

[skinnyguy]

I assume women have the same pressure as men do. If a chick pressured me to go out with her I'd listen.. Why doesnt it work the other way around? I guess cause chicks get asked out 20 times per day and they have way more options than we do. You can stop pressuring but it won't improve the number of dates you are getting. I'd like to see a post that actually shows how to shift the power balance. The way I see it, you are always in a weaker position as a guy unless you're George clooney or something

 

[JohnChops]

its so hard to relax with 5 classes, full work load and full course load with other sh1t to do. however getting ahead helps

 

[Serenity]

Lately I've been working intensely to ground myself and get an understanding of my emotions. I've recently discovered something about pressure. Usually there's a fear behind it and there's an unresolved problem.

I've also discovered that clinging to what you think is pretty damn stupid, it WILL put pressure on you and lead you to black and white thinking. So here's a hint, you are not your thoughts or feelings you are the one observing them. And they both convey information related to a problem you're subconsciously aware of.

I can also recommend getting a deep understanding of good morals. When (and if) you understand it properly you will be able to handle the pressure instead of just withstanding it.

It's way too complicated to go into detail on a forum, but it's a continuous process and it never ends. For some this might be the hardest challenge ever faced, but it's well worth it. It beats spinning plates, while I don't think it's wrong I suspect many use it as a crutch (external validation of your value as a human being).