"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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pressure over new chick

connor32

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i dont know whats going on but lately ive been getting attention from really cute chicks. two days ago at work i met this hb9 and got her number. she actually initiated so apparently she thought i was good looking. she texted me later that day too. here's how im feeling about this:

1) she looks alot like my ex (oneitits). she's the same ethnicity,body type,hair. if i could f-close her and make her my girlfriend i would feel like i was replacing my ex. in addition people at work know i met her and prolly will ask me about how things end up with her. for these reasons im real nervous to call her. i can't get to that relaxed "i dont care what happens" feeling. normally im not that worried about a new chick. but when you really want a chick it seems the pressure is on. i guess i gotta just let go and enjoy the moment with her.

2)she texted me the day i met her and asked me to hang out. i didnt call her back. before i hang with a new chick i feel like i have to get ready. i feel like i have to shave down, make sure i got cool clothes,make sure i get in a couple of good workouts, make sure my haircut is tight. i did these things today and im gonna call her tommorow. do u guys think if its meant to work out it will? any thoughts,advice?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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AKA FLEX

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I don't see any reason why it can't work out, unless you screw it up by caring what your co-workers think instead of going with the flow and doing what feels right to you.

I would call her (not text) tomorrow and set something up for this weekend, close for the F. Sounds like she's giving you buying signals.
 

connor32

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AKA FLEX said:
I don't see any reason why it can't work out, unless you screw it up by caring what your co-workers think instead of going with the flow and doing what feels right to you.

I would call her (not text) tomorrow and set something up for this weekend, close for the F. Sounds like she's giving you buying signals.
thx. my mind plays all these games on me. when there is a chick im really interested in i think way too much. i need to keep it all in perspective, she's a hot chick who im gonna take out,we're gonna have a great date and im gonna fvck her brains out.
 

darkme_legendary

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connor32 said:
1) she looks alot like my ex (oneitits). she's the same ethnicity,body type,hair. if i could f-close her and make her my girlfriend i would feel like i was replacing my ex. in addition people at work
I think it's more about replacing an emotional part then replacing her with your ex. It sounds to me that you are lacking this in your life..this emotion.

know i met her and prolly will ask me about how things end up with her. for these reasons im real nervous to call her.
I don't think that is only this reason. Think more deeply about it.

i can't get to that relaxed "i dont care what happens" feeling.
It's obvious that you care. why do you want to feel something that you don't believe?
You can care about the situation and still be calm and relaxed, didn't you know that?:)

normally im not that worried about a new chick. but when you really want a
chick it seems the pressure is on. i guess i gotta just let go and enjoy the moment with her.
Good idea, let go of it & enjoy the interaction.

2)she texted me the day i met her and asked me to hang out. i didnt call her back. before i hang with a new chick i feel like i have to get ready. i feel like i have to shave down, make sure i got cool clothes,make sure i get in a couple of good workouts, make sure my haircut is tight. i did these things today and im gonna call her tommorow. do u guys think if its meant to work out it will? any thoughts,advice?
Why do you prepare so much? You are making it just to hard in your mind.
Go unshaved for 2 weeks and see that it's only in your mind.
I think this 2) is in relation with the first nervous feeling.
 

connor32

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darkme_legendary said:
I think it's more about replacing an emotional part then replacing her with your ex. It sounds to me that you are lacking this in your life..this emotion.

im lacking the emotion of "being crazy about a girl." you can call it afc. but this "emotion" is what i crave. but also for a very long time ive wanted to replace my ex with a girl that looks alot like her. in my mind this would be a victory of sorts. i guess there is that hope of running into my ex with this girl and it being like "look i was able to replace you."
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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