Played all my cards perfectly, ex still has the an advantage

[Scars]

This is weird for me because usually I only come here to GIVE advice, but right now my head must not be in the right place. I'm hoping I could get some advice from some of the more educated members here.

I met this girl back in November through a friend. Made a good first impression, and let her know right off the bet I am dominate and confident. I could tell there was a bit of a spark but if faded out. I guess she had heard from numerous people that I was a "player" so I quickly noticed a change of behavior in her and she started running a bunch of head games on me. She would get hott and then cold. I approached her one time about it (assuming it was just a **** test) and said something a long the lines of "let's just skip all these head games, you know you have my attention, and i got yours" and she replied something a long the lines of "whats wrong playa, you don't like to play?" I knew what I had to do, I was missing the COMFORT factor, but to be honest, I was just fed up and didn't have time for her sh!t, so I nexted her.

We didn't talk until the beginning of this month. I ran into her again and the spark got rekindled. She started texting me again everyday, and things seemed a lot better. I had already proved to her that I have no time for nonsense, so I saw a better attitude in her. So in reward I opened up a bit to her, and she did the same. We exchanged personal stories and such. All the while I was still playfully teasing her and keeping her interest up. I even got her sending me dirty texts late one night. I had finally built that COMFORT factor we were missing. She was always wanted to hang out with me, but our plans always seemed to fall through because I was busy at work. But a few days ago, after just having a really good text conversation with her I ask her to hang with me, and she agrees. The whole day she seemed extremely interested in being with me. I gave her a few options, there was a party I had heard about, we could go out and do something or we could chill at my place. We eliminate the party idea because she said she didn't want to be around people she doesn't know. So I say let's chill at my place then. She takes an hour later to right back and she says she is still in love with her boyfriend and wants to get back together with him and doesn't feel right if we hung out a lone (her boyfriend is like 3 states away), but would like to hang with me at parties and such. I see it as a **** test and stay calm, cool, and collected. I compliment her on the fact that she isn't stupid enough to put herself in risky or tempting situations when she has something to lose. Almost immediately after she is being cutesy with me again. Right now, the way I see it.. the only road we can go down now is to keep beating around the bush until emotions take hold one night and I just fvck her. But that's not exactly what I want. She texted me again early this morning, and things we're normal just as they have been. But for some reason I was just getting bored with her and ignored her the rest of the day. It wasn't out of anger or anything. Part of it was because I was busy and part of it was because things just seemed boring. We were still being cutesy, but idk. I feel like if I keep texting her this way, even if I keep sliding in my clever lines and sexyness I'm going to be friendzoned. But I also feel like if I keep ignoring her, then she is going to think I'm mad and won an emotional reaction out of me.. thus failing her test. So I'm not really sure what to do. My plan right now is to wait and see if she contacts again. I'm not going to be mean or ignore her, but I'm not going to go out of my way to be flirty with her either. Just be myself and act unphased. I'm thinking if I keep making her do all the initiating contact, her emotions will take over and she will just call me over for a booty call one night. That's all I see happening with this sadly. Not really sure if I got the right plan or not. So do any of you guys have any decent advice? I'm just trippin right now because I played things so well with this girl. Like I wish I had saved some of the things I did and came up with. She really kept me on my toes, and I always topped her with cleverness. It was seriously epic, but I made sure there was a balance and not too much playing. I ran kino on her, was really flirty and complimenting at times. I seriously did EVERYTHING right, I don't understand.

 

[sodbuster]

If it isn't working for you cut it off. She may be BP, an AW or the ultimate player; but you don't need to worry about the outcome. Let it ride,see where it goes,but the SECOND it bothers you more than the sex is worth-bail. I don't worry what the bum on the street thinks of me when I walk by-don't worry about what this woman thinks/

 

[Scars]

Yeah man, that's when I realized things weren't right when it did start effecting me. I did a good job of not exposing this to her, but I know this is slowly what it is turning into. Usually I'm pretty good about this.

 

[Kailex]

I would deconstruct the entire thing, but you were good up until the mid-section of your post. And I'm not going to say that you did things "wrong" but I'll show you were the mindset of this whole thing changed.

So I say let's chill at my place then. She takes an hour later to right back and she says she is still in love with her boyfriend and wants to get back together with him and doesn't feel right if we hung out a lone (her boyfriend is like 3 states away), but would like to hang with me at parties and such. I see it as a **** test and stay calm, cool, and collected. I compliment her on the fact that she isn't stupid enough to put herself in risky or tempting situations when she has something to lose. Almost immediately after she is being cutesy with me again.

Right here. You were right, it was a test. And you did a decent job of disarming it. I probably would have done it different, but it's more akin to my personality. See, she said she was still in love with her boyfriend and you KNOW that he is far away... why should that stop her? I can't exactly tell you what my reaction would be, but I wouldn't be congratulating her for not wanting to "fvck" me because of some guy that's three states away. Know what I mean? But, it could have been worse, you could have started yelling at her.

Right now, the way I see it.. the only road we can go down now is to keep beating around the bush until emotions take hold one night and I just fvck her. But that's not exactly what I want. She texted me again early this morning, and things we're normal just as they have been. But for some reason I was just getting bored with her and ignored her the rest of the day.

Some reason? You KNOW what the reason is and you are completely in the RIGHT for ignoring her. You realized that your chances of getting with her have gone down to almost nil and that she hasn't exactly LBJF-ed you yet, but you are already halfway there. Just because she didn't outright say it, doesn't mean that you aren't already on that path. You see, by mentioning that load of bs about her boyfriend, she's trying to keep you in orbit. Of course she will go back to being nice and flirty. You're giving the attention to her (OR WERE) that she wasn't getting from her "boyfriend". So for her, you are convinient.

It isn't out of anger or anything. Part of it was because I was busy and part of it was because things just seemed boring. We were still being cutesy, but idk. I feel like if I keep texting her this way, even if I keep sliding in my clever lines and sexyness I'm going to be friendzoned. But I also feel like if I keep ignoring her, then she is going to think I'm mad and won an emotional reaction out of me.. thus failing her test.

Who cares what she thinks? She basically told you that she's not going to be in the same room with you ALONE. So why give this so much thought?

Want to stir up her emotions, stop texting, stop calling.

Like I said, you are already on the path to the Friendzone. If she thinks that you are mad... who cares? It only matters what you think and if you think you aren't going anywhere with this GIRL, then it shouldn't matter what she thinks.

She failed YOUR test.

Remember that. She should have qualified herself to you. Not the other way around. She failed the EFF TEST by not coming to your place. She obviously doesn't have her priorities straight, so she's not worth your time. There's many more women that are worth your time, find them, because she's not one.

So I'm not really sure what to do. My plan right now is to wait and see if she contacts again. I'm not going to be mean or ignore her, but I'm not going to go out of my way to be flirty with her either. Just be myself and act unphased. I'm thinking if I keep making her do all the initiating contact, her emotions will take over and she will just call me over for a booty call one night. That's all I see happening with this sadly. Not really sure if I got the right plan or not. So do any of you guys have any decent advice? I'm just trippin right now because I played things so well with this girl. Like I wish I had saved some of the things I did and came up with. She really kept me on my toes, and I always topped her with cleverness. It was seriously epic, but I made sure there was a balance and not too much playing. I ran kino on her, was really flirty and complimenting at times. I seriously did EVERYTHING right, I don't understand.

Sometimes, even when you do everything right, things won't be 100% guaranteed. SoSuave has all the tools to help you out, but it never is a guarantee that it will work on every single woman. Right now, you seem to be on the right path.

If she wants a booty call, she can come to your place. Don't even move an INCH for that girl. Make her do all the work.

But honestly, bump her status down.

You already know what the outcome could or might be with her, so, have fun with other women and if the chance comes along for her to become a booty call, take her as that and nothing more.

 

[EFFORT]

How many plates are you spinning?

 

[Scars]

Effort: I've got about 5 in rotation right now. Admittedly, I did put a little "extra" attention into her, and this may have been where I have failed.

Kailex, I think you did a terrific job of breaking everything down. I guess I needed another second logical opinion. Someone to look at it from a third person perspective and give it to me straight. I appreciate the honesty.

+1 rep my friend.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Her power is her p8ssy, yours is your affection,attention. It´s a trade-off.
Nice guys give their attention for free and get nothing in return.

 

[slaog]

She takes an hour later to right back and she says she is still in love with her boyfriend and wants to get back together with him and doesn't feel right if we hung out a lone (her boyfriend is like 3 states away), but would like to hang with me at parties and such.

Theres your answer.


She has a BF who is the main man in her life but it looks like she also want a bit of fun on the side and thats where you come in. She doesn't want to break up with her BF but she just wants some no strings attached sex. If she has sensed you want more she'll avoid you.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Danger is right!

I´ve screwed some girls who had BF because they were bored with their boring BF and I was the strong silent type. So they thought "uh, this guy will not fall in love with me, he will screw me hard and If I´m not careful I will fall for himm".

Detail, I never made a move on them. I was just minding my business and being a little flirty but indifferent. I´m reasonably good loooking, this helps alot.

 

[Scars]

Update: Yesterday I took the advice, and just minded my own business. She texted me once and I ignored it. An hour or so later she calls me, and I always answer my phone so I said hey. She asked me what I was doing for Pattys day, turns out we were heading to the same place sense we have the same circle of friends pretty much. I go to the party and as soon as she sees me comes up to me and we chat. We went outside and I was ****ed up so I started getting really flirty and touchy with her. She didn't seem to mind. Eventually I told her goodbye and left. I guess she left too shortly after I did.

Just now she sent me a text saying her boyfriend broke up with her. I don't know what to make of it. I know I could easily come in with my charm and bone her. But it doesn't feel right. I'm just going to be a rebound, and I did have intentions of dating this girl. Perhaps I will just hit it and quit it, who knows. I'm kind of stalling on wrighting her back, or if I will. I realize the ball is in my court right now.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

The worm has apparently turned.

You know you want to bang her, so do it. She has teed this whole thing up for you, all you have to do is NOT go AFC now that she has given this potentially strong IOI.

So you are right to not jump in headfirst with the news of her becoming single, just let this deal play out, and you know what to do if/when she freezes you out with the "just brokeup" excuse I've heard about on these forums.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

The worm has apparently turned.
You know you want to bang her, so do it. She has teed this whole thing up for you, all you have to do is NOT go AFC now that she has given this potentially strong IOI.

It can be an IOI or a trap to see if she can catch you. ONly making a move on her you will know for sure.