phone anxiety help

[phoneproblems]

My problem is calling women after I get the #. The in-person or online rapport is fine, but when I call them, I freeze up.

Usually I avoid calling, ask for email, and setup date that way.

But now I have two women who both give me their #'s and ask me to call to plan dates.

Any good advice how not to screw it up? It just feels weird talking to women I don't know on the phone.

THanks!

 

[Heretolearn]

pretend you are talking to your friends. Look up senor fingers post

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=32124

Your objective is to get a meeting arranged. That is all.

* prank call some people (random numbers from the phonebook) ask for Johnny,

Anyway, do that a couple of times so you get used to that feeling of speaking to a stranger

*if johnny answers, get to know him

 

[Bonhomme]

Danger, Will Robinson, DANGER!!!

The jokester thing is money if you can pull it off.

Fingz has mad skills, and can obviously pull it off, making it obvious he's just having fun, and doesn't give a damn how she reacts. But not everyone can pull off that sort of thing without looking like they're trying too hard, which is the kiss of death.

Ever seen a film of The Who's drummer, Keith Moon, drumming during his 60s heyday? The m-fker was playing this amazing sh1t, and made it look so easy he could do it in his sleep. But ordinary guys imitating that would end up with some serious bruised knees from the times they miss the bloody drums altogether. I know -- I've been done just that -- BUT -- became a much better drummer in the long run fot it.

So the thing to do is develop Fingz' attitude, not necessarily to try to be so creative, unless it comes naturally. Practice the entertaining stuff when you really don't care -- and just keep it simple when you do.

 

[Paradox]

Check out the DJ Bible. There is a whole section there dedicated to conversaition.

Since you are doing this over the phone and not in person you have an advantage.

If you are as nervous as you say you are then this should help.

1. Get some index cards or lined paper

2. Write down some open ended questions

3. Write down some things to ask her about herself (i.e. hobbies, foods she likes, books, movies she has seen ect)

4. You should try and keep the phone conversation under 10 mins.

5. The phone should be used to set up the date.

6. Towards the end of the convo be prepared to date close.

I guess that's it. You can also prepare sort of a script but the best thing to do in any conversation is to listen and respond.

 

[john_1234]

i think a biggie that people overlook is how they actually sound on the phone. it seems likely that you'll sound tense/unrelaxed once you start chatting. i suggest you tape record your voice with one of the girls and see how you sound. that way you know which areas of your voice you need to improve

 

[phoneproblems]

thanks guys

Great suggestions, esp. about taping my voice. (Would hate to hear that though).

What I actually did was catch her on IM and make the date that way. This is foolproof.

Basic lesson for me here was just b/c women suggests A doesn't mean I can't do B anyway.

 

[MightyMate]

Just chat al ittl like in person, dont take mo than 10 minutes.