"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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people saying they are old

Jeremymichael

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Hello everyone,

There is a women I know who comes into my local pub. She is very pleasant and good fun, but I don't fancy her. She is about 47 and I am 40. Anyway she keeps making comments in front of people that are getting annoying.

Like last night I was out having a cigarrette and talking to guys in their early twenties and having a laugh when she came out and joined the conversation. At one point she said remember guys we were young once, refering to me and her. Other times she keeps saying other things "like in our age group" and I'm getting too old for this or us oldies.

Anyway I know I'm 40 but I never refer to myself as old and I look fairly good, so why mention age differences. It really is putting me off talking to her. Even if I was 80, I would keep refering to myself as old.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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lookyoung

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I really don't see a problem with this. If your confident and if you know you look good than who gives a sh1t. This is not something to get upset about nor waste your energy on.
 

Jeremymichael

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Well it's not a positive comment and somewhat un-necessary. You might think differently when you are 40?

Maybe she is fisihing for compleminents?."Oh you are never 47, you look so young?"
 

decades

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it wouldn't bother you unless you saw and understood the logic of her comment. Deal with your own belief system, not hers.
 

MrLuvr

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Jeremymichael said:
Anyway I know I'm 40 but I never refer to myself as old and I look fairly good, so why mention age differences. It really is putting me off talking to her. Even if I was 80, I would keep refering to myself as old.
Don't talk to her then. I agree with what you are saying. To keep referring to yourself as "old" or what ever makes you start "thinking old". The moment your brain switches to "old mode" your body takes a cue from your brain and starts looking old. Don't underestimate the power of the mind. If you keep thinking young and feeling you will maintain your youth. It may sound silly, but it is more powerful than you think. Don't waste your time with her.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Monad1

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To distance yourself from her sentiments could be as easy as retorting in a light hearted way with a smile: "speak for yourself darling" and then change the subject.
 

Deep Dish

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MrLuvr said:
To keep referring to yourself as "old" or what ever makes you start "thinking old". The moment your brain switches to "old mode" your body takes a cue from your brain and starts looking old. Don't underestimate the power of the mind. If you keep thinking young and feeling you will maintain your youth. It may sound silly, but it is more powerful than you think.
Unless you can cite academic scientific studies, I say that is untrue quackery.

The human body naturally begins to break down around the age of 40, the same time around which people think "Hey, I'm getting older" and in which markers of the physical deterioration prompt people to think "Hey, I'm getting older." The mechanism behind the mind-body connection in regards to aging has been discovered: the human body produces the stress hormone cortisol which suppresses telomerase (what helps keep cells young) and cortisol gradually weakens the immune system (Sciencedaily.com: "Mechanism Behind Mind-body Connection Discovered", July 2008). It is stress, not cognitive thought, which accelerates aging of the body. I would imagine people who remain "young at heart" probably tend to have less stressful lives, thus lack the accelerated aging of stress and thus have delayed onset of thinking "I'm old."
 
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MrLuvr

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Deep Dish said:
Unless you can cite academic scientific studies, I say that is untrue quackery.

The human body naturally begins to break down around the age of 40, the same time around which people think "Hey, I'm getting older" and in which markers of the physical deterioration prompt people to think "Hey, I'm getting older."
Naturally? What is "naturally"? How do you determine what is "natural"? A lot of the aging that occurs is a result of unnatural factors in the environment. From pollution to chemicals to processed foods to all kinds of other harmful substances. Much of the aging you see see on a person is hardly "natural".

You believe what you want to believe. I couldn't care less what you think. There are studies that prove and disprove everything.

I believe in the power of positive thinking. You can call it quackery if you want. Who cares.
 

Luthor Rex

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MrLuvr said:
Naturally? What is "naturally"? How do you determine what is "natural"?
Nothing unnatural exists.

A lot of the aging that occurs is a result of unnatural factors in the environment. From pollution to chemicals to processed foods to all kinds of other harmful substances. Much of the aging you see see on a person is hardly "natural".
Some of these things you mention may be artifical in that they were created by man, but that hardly qualifies at "unnatural". Unicorn tears are unnatural because they do not exist. Nuclear weapons are natural because they do exist.

There are studies that prove and disprove everything.
That's just false, but I understand why you would think that. The mainstream media does a VERY poor job of reporting science. They have a very hard time knowing the difference between quackery and the real thing.

If a study came out tomorrow that said:

"We have found a weak link between cheese and cancer. We believe there may be something here, but further research must be done to determine what, if any, link exists."

The mainstream media would report:

"Scientists found proof that cheese causes cancer!!1!11!! Stop eating cheese now or you will surely die! Cheese must never be eaten again!"

I believe in the power of positive thinking. You can call it quackery if you want. Who cares.
When people make poor life decisions that effects others, or enact poor legislation based on quackery, everyone should care.
 

mrRuckus

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Luthor Rex said:
The mainstream media would report:

"Scientists found proof that cheese causes cancer!!1!11!! Stop eating cheese now or you will surely die! Cheese must never be eaten again!"
Sure the media is retarded but that's taking it a bit far. They almost always report these things as just a possibility and then interview some 'experts' who say it's okay in moderation and when they find out more they'll let you know, but they never do.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Jeremymichael

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The problem with her saying us oldies, it's starting to affect my confidence.

It doesn't help if you are trying to pull some younger chicks and some bird friend 7 or 8 years olders than me, keeps refering to us as the oldies. I'm going to make a conscious decision to keep my distance from her and chat to my mates who are between 30-40.

I think Mr Lurv is right, how you think you will become.
 

speed dawg

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Well, you ARE 40 aren't you? It's not like she's telling you something you don't know. When you appear insecure about something that's true you appear weak.

Embrace things you can't change, dude. Take yourself a tad more lightly.
 

DarkShade

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I'm still in college, and by that nature I am the old man of the class, no ifs ands or buts. That just means I know more than they do, experienced more than they have and thusly I do better in class, have better grades and don't get caught up in the college dorm drama, big keggers or boring social events.

Old > Young
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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jophil28

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Jeremymichael said:
The problem with her saying us oldies, it's starting to affect my confidence.

It doesn't help if you are trying to pull some younger chicks and some bird friend 7 or 8 years olders than me, keeps refering to us as the oldies. I'm going to make a conscious decision to keep my distance from her and chat to my mates who are between 30-40.

I think Mr Lurv is right, how you think you will become.

The way to get a woman to shut the F up is to create some kind of social penalty for her when she tries to run her mouth.

She says."Jeremy and I are oldies...yadda blah blah."

You say, " Funny you should say that . Some woman asked me last night why I hang out with my mother.. I explained that you were just a friend. I dont think that she believed me.... "

That should shut her down.
 
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